THE NEXT GOVERNMENT.

BARISAN RAKYAT SHALL FORM THE NEXT GOVERNMENT!

SOS

SOS
nation in distress

The World Anthem


WE ARE ALL OF 1 RACE, THE HUMAN RACE.


31/07/2008

NEP POWER PLAY BY JEDI MASTER PLANNER


by zeus thomas edison,
donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for watts, volts and thunderbolts affairs









or the art of the directly negotiated non-tendered out EMU contract - PART 1

ONE FINE SATURDAY MORNING AT 11 A.M. AT 4TH FLOOR HQ OF NEW ELECTRIC POWER (NEP) CORP IN PUTRAJAYA

Present:
Sir Wigneswaran Vetrichicken65varuval A/L P.Kottai (affectionately known as ‘Wigs’) in- charge Jedi Master Planner of The Realm for Engineering and Leader of
Kesatuan Alam Liga India Neopolitik Ganga Arya (KALINGA)
Sir Ahmad Kilau, Chairman NEP
Latok Yaya Awan, Chief Executive Officer NEP
Latok Amat Guruh, Chief Operating Officer NEP
Latok Li G.H.T. Ning, Financial Controller NEP
LatoK Min Saram Iddyappam, Director NEP
Mustaffahellavalot, Independent Director NEP
Latin 'Kak' Jamaliah Api, Secretary NEP

Latok R.Stamp Chop , Chief Engineer & Chairman Tender Committee NEP

Tender Committee comprising several highly qualified engineers of many years
service and standing with NEP

Sir Kilau Good morning, Sir Jedi Master Planner of the Realm, gentlemen and lady. Let’s get straight away to the business at hand, that is, the award of the contract for Electrification of Bandar Gelap (EBG, i.e. Dark Town) New Settlement. I am glad to say that after many months of evaluation and deliberation, we are now ready to announce the award of the contract in accordance with normal tender procedures.

Wigs They should be re-naming yit Bandar Terang (Bright Town), after this yavard, don you wall think? Ha, ha, joking vonly brothers!

Sir Kilau I will now pass the floor to Latok R.Stamp Chop, Chairman of the Tender Committee, to make the announcement and relevant justifications.

Wigs Just a sec Sir Kilau, I yave a yimporten yannouncemen to be making. I yettended a yearly yeight yay yem Saturday morning surprise nasi lemak, roti chanai and teh tarik Woo…ahem…den…ahem.. Cabi.. ahem.. (cough cough)..net meeting at Shangorilla Otel. Vell, the vatts and volts (you are allowed to laugh at my vitticism) of the meeting yis the Pre….. (cough cough) ahem..ier and the.. Woo..(cough cough) den.. Cabi…ahem.. (cough cough)..net yave decided that the EBG contract should be yavarded to Syarikat Usaha Chepat Kaya Shaitan (SUCKS) for 1.5 billion killer-vatts. So, ve are not needing to go yinto the deliberations and decision of the tenderr kamittee. You vill be getting the necessary authorization from the EMU,(
EconomicMsplanningUnit@gov.con ).

Sir Kilau Just one second Master, with all due respect, SUCKS wasn’t even pre-qualified for this contract. They have no previous experience whatsoever with this kind of job, let alone for a scope-of-works of this size. The only job they had ever done for us before this was supplying a few hundred bulbs for our office.

Wigs That’s ok Sir Kilau. I penuh penuh satu ratus peratus sokong (one hundred percent fully support) the Pre…ahem..(cough cough)..ahem..ier’s and Woo…ahem…den… ahem.. Cabi..ahem..(cough cough)..net’s and the EMU's decision. So, ve kannot be going yagainst yit.

Sir Kilau What about transparency and all that. How will I explain to all the PLC’s, really big boys, who have all tendered for the project?

Wigs Vat you are vorrying yabout? You von’t yave to yexplain yennything. SUCKS vill yimmediately sub-contract to RoadMudaGameOverDisunitedYengineers PLC for 750 million killer-vatts. So, RoadMuda vill yexecute the job from yay to yeZ, understood?

Sir Kilau Amazing, Master! How did you know we were going to recommend RoadMuda as the best tender?

Wigs I yave my sources, eh, Mus? Lottov sauce, ha, ha!

Sir Kilau Well, if it is a Pre… (cough cough)..ahem …ier/ Woo…ahem…den… ahem..Cabi (cough cough)…net / EMU decision, I guess I have no choice but to concede and accede. When we will get the authorization from the EMU, signed by the Pre…(cough cough),..ahem….ier?

Wigs Soon, yin due course, yin the fullness of time, (cough, cough)....20 (cough,cough) 20 (cough, cough). But don be standing on ceremonies, let’s be fast tracking yit. You can be going yahead vith the lettter of yavard today to SUCKS, signing of yagreemen and yannouncemen to the Press, Monday. And, oh, yes, almost forgetting, the Woo…ahem…den… ahem..Cabi… ahem...(cough cough).. net has yolso decided to yavard a Consultancy Contract for 5% of the contract sum of 1.5 billion killer-vatts to Syarikat Handal Ambil Durian Yummy (SHADY) of Soonkayagaya Seaphut District.

Chief Engineer No.1 Ahem! Master, if I may ask with all due respect, our prelim-BQ shows that with more than adequate provision for unexpected cost escalation AND additional 5% provision for contingencies, NEP can do the job by itself for 300 million killer-watts. So, how do we justify 1.5 billion killer-watts? Who is SHADY and what exactly will SHADY be doing to justify the 5% consultancy contract? We have no record of such a company, never heard of it in all my 20-odd years with NEP.

Wigs Good qvestions. Vell done.Verry, verry, verry good qvestions, yin fact. But not so yin reality!!

I vill yanswer them privately to you, since no one yelse is yinterested, next veek. After you yave picked up your 24-hours transfer order on your vay out, from my office, and report for verk Monday as yeNEP’s new Yasia Pacific Chief Yexecutive Yenginner of Power Tools Sheds, yin Yeast Malaysia.

Beautiful place I hear, virgin beaches, millions of Filipina and Indonesians there, virgins and bitches, ha, ha! So, you and your wife yolso can yave two or yeven three maids for the price of von here. Damn tricky thing you know, safety of power tools. Verry responsible position, and timely promotion for you, but no pay rise, since kast of living yin the East is loverr than yere. Yenny more qvestions? Speak up. Don be shy. We are a very demokratic government, you know.

Sir Kilau Well, in that case the meeting is yimm…, er I mean, immediately adjourned.

Wigs And oh yes, von more things. Don be forgetting, wall today’s proceedings, deliberations and decisions are covered by OSIBISA - Official Secrets, Intelligence, Banking and Internal Security Act. So if you are not vanting to spend a few years in Central Low Tech Prison in Bamboozled River District at His Majesty’s yimmense pleasure, you know vat to keeping shut, I yope you know. Also, I repeat once more time, no surat layang (poison-pen letters) or I will yave to refer yit to Oso Corrup Association (OCA), I Raja Polis Omar 'Hasslemall' Sheriff, and AG Ganesh Tandoori Patel, for yaction, yinvestigation and yimmediate prosecution yagainst the perpetrators – of the surat layang.

Oh, yend please, please, don’t be clutterering up the Minutes with wall sorts of yirrelevant trivia. The Minutes need be vonly reflecting the yunanimous yapproval of the yavard of the yEBG contract to SUCKS for 1.50 billion killer-vatts by the yeNEP Board of Directors, based on the yunanimous recommendation of the yeNEP Tender Kammittee. Sir Kilau, please yensure paper-trail is tip-top, vokay?

Meeting yis NOW yadjourned. Bye.

donplaypuks® with open tender contracts man!!

25/07/2008

anwar ibrahim - j'accuse


by capt. dreyfussycat,
donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for devil's island affairs



emile zola




Justice is blind! This is the First important principle. A court of law must base its verdict on the quality of the evidence tendered before it. The personalities of the accuser and the accused are of no concern to the Justices.

The Second important principle is that in a legally, properly constituted court of law, every person is presumed innocent unless proven guilty. It is incumbent upon the accuser to first prove his case; not for the accused to first prove his innocence.

There is no presumption of guilt when one person accuses another of a crime, no matter how plausible the accusation may appear to be and no matter what the standing and integrity of the accuser. What the accuser may have to gain by his confession, or why he would risk life, limb, liberty, reputation, standing among his fellow men and his God, are realms of speculation that learned judges do not enter into. Once sworn in, the word of a King has no greater effect in the halls of justice than that of his subject before the law lords.

This is an important principle which has been easily forgotten. We still have numerous cases of detentions, remand and arrests without charge, trial or right of appeal under Internal Security Acts and the so-called Prevention of Terrorism Acts. Most Asian countries play-act at it and pretend that they are democracies. They present a thin veneer, a facade which can be held up to the western world to attract FDI’s and to beg the west for unrestricted access for exports to their markets.

There was this famous case where a man, a prisoner of conscience, was incarcerated for 23 years in solitary confinement. He spent another 9 years on an island where he was asked to purchase and prepare his own food and pay rent. The absurd premise for compelling him to pay for board and lodging was that he was a ‘free man’ on the island. But he was never ever charged with any crime or brought to trial before being finally released from captivity. The State’s defence of ‘pre-emptive strike’ is such as would cause a Stalin or a Hitler to blush beet-root red.

Elsewhere a well-educated lady politician has been held under house arrest for several years on the orders of a group of worthless, corrupt, old, frightened men. Generals and cowards who are paralysed and bereft of any sensible idea of how to pull their nation into the modern era. It may well be that Burma should not modernise, that it should develop in its own way and at its own pace. The capitals and main cities across Asia, ashamed of their own ancient cultures, have become poor imitations of downtown London, New York and Paris. These cities are filled with nothing more than bland shopping malls, discos, high-tea serving hotels and convention centres. Bored citizens and visitors alike regard ‘shopping’ and conspicuous, tasteless consumption as ‘hobby.’

We have witnessed the disaster of the Soviet Union in shuffling off the coils of Marxism and Communism too quickly. In China a delicate balancing act is being attempted by another gaggle of old tyrants who are guilty of mass slaughter and ought to have been strung up long ago. In North Korea an insane buffoon, a troglodyte is in his death throes. He knows the game is up but will still insist on one last fling, threatening a nuclear confrontation. So, these decisions are not for the crooks, thieves, mass murderers, tyrants and despots of the world to make.

These illegal, unconstitutional Acts have shifted the burden of proof to the accused. Rest assured that there are no bases in our Constitution, or for the matter, in the Constitution and legal framework of any society, for these Acts. They are against God’s laws of human rights. When wolves, and in some cases eagles, bears, tigers mistaken for lions, and pandas, as well, rule in sheeps’ clothing, then individual human rights and freedom are always the first casualty.

Even a single arrest without probable cause is one too many. We have allowed, by not speaking up and by not engaging in non-violent protests, schoolyard bullies, cowards and gangsters to rise to power in this world!

When we look at the facts of the case and the evidence presented before us, there can only be one conclusion.

Firstly, we note the lightning-speed conviction of the accuser of having committed indecent acts with the accused in another court. This self-confession is surely a unique case of the victim being convicted ahead of the perpetrator!

What then shall we make of an accuser who, claiming higher moral ground some years after the alleged incidents, is himself convicted of khalwat? At that, in the very midst of this trial and if we may be permitted to add, with indecent haste in another court. An accuser who could not name while on the stand a single hotel where he claims he was compromised. An accuser who when he does recall the building-scene of the crime, has to confront the inconvenient truth that the construction of that very implied apartment building had only been half completed. Which necessitates the confiscation of the accused’s diaries by the Public Prosecutor and law enforcers. And hey presto! we have a new date for the alleged crime.

We shudder to think of the precedence set by the No. 1 Law Enforcer in the country who assaulted the accused in his cell. This cowardly act was initially dismissed by the Great Leader who speculated that these were self-inflicted by the accused!

 
Others do speak about secret investigations’ of the accused’s ‘aberrant’ behaviour. But cannot tender black and white evidence, and do speak of files that cannot be revealed ‘in the interest of national security,’ or of files if ever opened, which are lost. Several enforcers seemed to have suffered from convenient attacks of amnesia while on the stand. What does it say about the integrity of our law enforcers who should be there to protect the weak from the excesses of the strong, stand firm, be unbiased and not to carte blanche side the rulers against the ruled?

When DNA evidence was proven tainted and inconclusive, the prosecutor took the unusual route of withdrawing the earlier charge and framing a new one. After having insinuated sexual misdemeanours that would cause the madame of a brothel to blush. Which was somewhat avoided by legally re-classifying evidence tendered in open court and rubber stamping it as 'EXPUNGED!'

Thus, the Law Lords have arrived at a unanimous decision.

Will the accused rise! We will not entertain any untoward outburst of emotions from the gallery. The bailiffs have instructions to immediately clear the court in the event of any unseemly behaviour.

The enforcers shall not re-arrest the accused under the ISA, regardless of our verdict, once we have delivered it. We shall not in this instance hesitate to charge any enforcer with contempt of court, meaning detention in a prison cell until a suitable date of hearing can be fixed, if our directives are not strictly complied with. We trust this is clearly understood. The bailiffs shall take note.

It is the considered decision of this Court that the charges against the accused are completely unproven. When reduced to its bare essentials, it is a case of one man’s word against another. It is a cardinal principle in such cases that it would without doubt be unsafe to convict unless firm, corroborative evidence is tendered. In this instance that kind of evidence is manifestly conspicuous by its absence. Whether the accuser was instigated and manipulated by unnamed powers that be in a conspiracy that must not fail, or not, does not fall within the scope or purview of our inquiries or remit of our duties!
 

The case against the accused is dismissed, with costs awarded to the accused.

We further recommend to His Majesty, the Honourable King of our glorious nation that a Royal Commission be set up post-haste to inquire into allegations of a conspiracy against the accused. The conduct of the Great Leader and Office of the Public Prosecutor in leaking selectively sub-judice information to certain quarters of the Press Corps has to be investigated. As should be that of the Chief Law Enforcer and his officers some of whom appear to have committed perjury while under oath. We are extremely concerned with the highly suspicious convictions of several others who appeared severely disoriented and poorly represented when brought before other courts. These were individuals and citizens who were deemed to have committed indecent acts with the accused. Surely His Majesty does not wish to be accused that ‘Something is rotten in the State of Denmark!’

The accused is innocent and free to go home!

The court is adjourned! Bang!’

CRASH!!

‘Oh hell, what was that Sanjay?’

‘Oh, kakak just broke your favourite drinking glass, dad.’

‘What? Oh hell!Can’t get a decent post-lunch power nap! Where’s mum, Sanjay? Darling, let me tell you about this dream I just had. You thought it only happened to JR Ewing in ‘Dallas’?

'Hah!'

donplaypuks with my inalienable right to just accuse!!





20/07/2008

‘NEP ON VERGE OF COLLAPSE SAYS CEO’

by Thomas Edison Nescimento, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for Energy, Power Roots & Cubic Roots Affairs













New Electric & Power (NEP) Corp CEO and HavOxBridge triple degree graduate, Latok Omar Harun Moh Shah (OHMS) had some electrifying disclosures to make to Thomas Edison Nescimento (TEN) of donplaypuks®, in a frank and candid interview in the Capital, about the corporation’s state of affairs.

TEN Are you serious OHMS, is it switch-off time for the NEP, is that the final fade-out?

OHMS More like a black-out, I think. Well, the picture is not pretty; pretty grim actually!

TEN What’s the problem? You seem to be seething with incandescent rage.

OHMS Simple Mathematics, let me show you what NEP’s problem is for FY 06:
Total Debt $ 34 billion
Annual capital expenditure (capex) $ 5 billion
Annual Profit B4 Interest $ 4 billion
Interest $ 1.5 billion
NPP collaterized gagsterized Zero Risk
Gaji Buta kopi- money $ 3 billion
Therefore:
Cash Flow for reducing debt principal $ Kosong (zero)
Cash Flow for capex $ Zilch (zero)
Cash Flow for business expansion $ Nada (zero)
QED

TEN How did the current situation develop? NEP has a monopoly, and was the darling of the stock market when it was privatized and listed, yet it is now static.

OHMS For sure, we have carried out a thothally independent inthernal investigation and the honest finding is that no one is at fault!!

TEN What about the burden of the New Power Players (NPP)?

OHMS Yes, many NPP’s were given very generous take-or-pay contracts with added cost escalation clauses during the rule of ex-Chief Jedi Master Planner of The Realm, Maha Firaun Rama Sith Jedi I or Pak Che Tak Bajet. Big cables were pulled. We objected vehemently, but were powerless to stop him or short-circuit the EMU
(EconomicMsplanningUnit@gov.con).


Today all these NPP’s generate better RoE (Return on Equity) and ROCE (Return On Capital Employed) than NEP. If the NPP’s can, they will also siphon off the collection arm, which is a no-brainer job with plenty of cash flow.

TEN So, what about the time-honoured and tested practice of direct action currently? Cutting overheads, down-sizing, re-structuring, re-wiring, re-engineering and so on?

OHMS There is, and always has been, great resistance to any downsizing or re-structuring.

TEN From the staff, unions and NPP’s?

OHMS No, from the Gormen. Staffing changes and Voluntary Divorce Schemes (VDS) are vote-losing issues. So, chances of any action in this direction – Nil.

TEN Alternatively, what’s the current line of thinking.

OHMS More like not thinking. Inertia. Only a jolt of high voltage up the Khyber is likely to produce the desired positive effects. Otherwise the patient is in terminal condition.

TEN Surely, something can and must be done. Have you talked to your overseas counterparts?

OHMS Lots can be done. I have held talks with many of my peers from other countries, like James Watts of UK, Joules Amperes of France, Dynamo Kiev of Russia, Joseph Volta of Yugoslavia, George Ohm from Germany, Pak Gelap of Indonesia, Sam Transformerson of USA, See No Rights from PCR, Minnal Iddy Adi Idly of India, Minsaram Sothi from Sri Lanka, and many, many others.

Their view is that all the NPP contracts should be cancelled and re-tendered out. NEP can produce power at a fraction of the take-or-pay rates generously / extortionately given out earlier.

But there is a lot of resistance, and smokescreens from the NPP’s; now they waffle about IRR’s,sanctity of contracts’ and extending the concession period to 33 years. This is the free ride mentality, especially when the cost of the power stations would have been fully written-off by the NPP’s, and borrowings, if any, repaid, at the end of 21 years. So, even if, at the end of 21 years, they tear down the power-stations, there would be no loss whatsoever to the NPP’s.

NEP does not need the additional power-supply anyway. We are bound, gagged and sodo meed by 40% reserve margins we do not need. And now they have got the Bondholders’ Mafia and Bangs out to defend them even though the profits are more than sufficient to service interest costs and still give a decent return on capital. 18% IRR (Internal Rate of Return) is an industry joke for a Zero-Risk, 100% output buy-back NEP guaranteed Charity; you seriously cannot call this type of NPP deal a business venture or entrepreneurship. If they had tendered out these NPP contracts on these same give-away terms, everybody’s grandmother and uncles would have gone for these100% Bangable deals!! The Bangs were falling over each other in the rush to finance these deals.

A great deal of sandiwara, wayang kulit. Even if the NPPs’ profits were cut by half, their RoE would still be higher than NEP’s. So, NEP’s best options is to push out some articles in the dailies about Oso Corrup Association (OCA) inquiries on who the NPP’s handed D24 durians and guava hampers to when the got their ‘jambucontracts earlier. You’ll find the NPP’s rushing to re-negotiate ‘in the National Interest.’

Over manning is another huge problem, cuts and sheddings should be made – at least 1/3 can go across the board, in my opinion. But the Jedi Master Planner of The Realm has neither the capacitors nor Magdeburg Hemisphere Balls for this kind of action. No one knows who’s really in charge.

TEN So, what’s the solution?

OHMS When in doubt, there’s only one way out. Sucker punch the captive cows. We will have to keep raising tariffs and rates, this year and next year.... !! One day soon, the People will wake up and revolt and overthrow their Sith Jedi Master Planners of The Realm.

TEN Dammit!! Shocking isn’t it?

OHMS Yes, we tried to dam it, but now more dams are being built, and you know the mother of them all – Bunkum Dam and $10 billion untested undersea cables which will surely earn us another entry in the 'Bolehland Genius Book of Records' . Well, can’t dwell on negatives, must get on with the job. I’m off.

TEN Where to?

OHMS First, to appeal to the MoF about their thothally unfair rejection of my proposal for my 100% increase in Salary while accepting an excessive 5% increase for the peas..., er, no, the general staff. Next, to the Bahamas to re-charge my batteries. Finally, for a tour of Power Corporations in the region, i.e. San Francisco, Thokyo, New York, Munich, London & Paris, to draw up a Black Out Paper - M’sia – Regional Hub for Power.’ Work, work, work! I’m all wired up.
TEN And who's funding all that Research cum Travel - Lawatan Sambil Belajar - Budget?
OHMS Why it's all on OHMSS of course, didn't you know! On His Majesty's Secret Service!! Can't tell you more. Covered by OSIBISA (Official Secrets in Intelligence, Banking and Internal Security Act). Ciao!
donplaypuks® with my cable, man!
*******************************************************************************************************
NEP In-House Riddles

Q. How many South Sea Islanders in French Polynesia does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They don’t need bulbs. They all glow in the dark!

Q. How many NEP maintenance technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 6. One to stand on the table and hold the bulb and five to turn the table.

Q. How many Indians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 50. One to screw the bulb in and 49 to stand around, shake their heads and say ‘It won’t work.’

Q How many Chinamen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. To Alibabaji sub-contract it.

A. One.
Q. How many astrologers does it take to change a light bulb?
htp://donplaypuks.blogspot.com

13/07/2008

Message From The Burning Bushs'

by rabbi rabid rabbit noahmosesabraham, donplaypuks® interpid correspondent on oyl biblical affairs

Long nights ago, a tryst was made with destiny. We climbed Mt. Sinai and received the Message and we climbed Mt. Pissgah and saw the Promised Land. But it is not here. When olive oyl else failed, we climbed the Mountains again and we received a new Message. Now ye of little faith, read and acknowledge God's splendour!! Piss on ya!!


Saddam will not escaPE exTRaditi ON AS the WMD’s were aimed at the USA.
A valuable LESSON for all the world, indeed !!




05/07/2008

MAGNETIC MULTI LEVEL MARKETING (MLM)


by sam costalottamoneyaways, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for mlm affairs






the floating magnetic bed




ONE FINE SUNDAY MORNING AT 9 A.M. AT 9TH FLOOR WISMA THATHA ATHAI PATI KADHAI

Lingam Hi, Jessie (Jeswindler Kaur), thank god, managed to find you. Wow, what a crowd so early on a Sunday morning, why there must be about 500 people here already. Looks like this ‘business proposal’ you have for me must be pretty interesting and good. What’s it all about?

Jessie Yes, we can all earn millions of $ in no time. But don’t let me spoil the surprise. Lemme introduce you to Frankie K Lim, my upline.

Lingam Up your what? No, never mind. How you doing Frankie, I‘m Lingam.

Frankie Prees to meetchyu, so prees meetchyu, you Lessie’s fren, hor?

Lingam No, we just met. I reincarnated as a day vampire to kill Jessie in front of you, and drink her blood, that’s why I kidnapped her and brought her here.

Frankie Ha, ha! You vely funny. Your friend ah Lessie, vely funny.

Lingam Tell me Frankie, what’s the K in your name stand for?

Frankie Killer, as in Killer Motivation, Killler Make Manee, cantch you gas?

Jessie Frankie’s been in sales for 10 years, was Sales Trainer for a very big MNC before joining this MLM company, Syarikat Usaha Chepat Kaya Seterus (SUCKS)

Lingam Which MNC was this you were with Frankie? Not the one that markets ‘Phd in Pidgin and Broken English in 30 days’ is it?

Frankie Yes, not that one, but you mas gif me the contact number HR manager there one, hor.


Lingam Sure will. Anyway Frankie, now that we are well acquainted, what am I here for?

Frankie Akchili, normali, you mas attends the Group intro session, but since you Lessie’s good fraan, and Lessie sooo good sell our produck, I give you specer 1 thu 1 train.

Lingam That’s very kind of you Frankie, thank you. So, what’s the ‘business proposal’ and the product?

Frankie
Come, I show here in the showroom. This, hottest selling item west of Thokyo and Thighpeh, the mos super ‘Magnetic Bed & Mattress (MBM)’. Very the quality, very the power one. You sign up specer instorrment plan for the MBM, lecluit 5 more peepers, Lessie your uprine, then you can orr earn super commission one. You reach Uranium Geiger Hot Rever like me, then no nid you or wife work anymore. Just enjoy horriday orr year lound anywhere in the world, like me ha.

Lingam Then why are you here and not in Paris or Rome, on holiday?

Frankie Yes, jus do Lessie and you a favour, mah.

Lingam So, what does the MBM do and cost?

Frankie See ah, humer bodys got magnetic aula. You cantch see it, but you know is there rai? Like you really cantch see the atom, but is there, no? There is haymogrobin in the blood. Haymogrobin got iron, iron attract by magnet. So, if the yin and yang not barance in the bodys, not good, frow of chi is bad, rots of wind and gas and tengshen in the body. So, cantch sreep proper, and get strass out. Magnetic bed rearrign the yin and yang so good chi frow in the bodys one. So, no tengshen, no strass, no wind, no gas, sreep well. Come in 6 moder and 3 currur (Pink, Blue and Thaipusam Purple) with tag rines ah:-

Basic ‘Get your Poles up'
Super ‘Fantastic Force’
(with infra-red remote control)
4-User Auto ‘May the Fours be with You
(With vibrator mode)
Deluxe Ultimate ‘Shake It All About Within The Field’
Paradigm Shafting Control ‘South South Humdinger’
(for ex-Chief Jedi Master Planners
of The Realm )
AC/DC ‘North-North South-South Anywhichway But Loose’
(Exclusively for ex- Deputy Chief Jedi .
Master Planners of The Realm)
Orr make in PCR. Orr come with 2 year wallanty and glantee.

Lingam Any U.S.A. FDA approval?

Frankie Yes, pendings one.

Lingam How much?

Frankie Normali $13,888 for basick, but specer becoz you Lessie’s fraan, if you sign today, only $6,888, can pay 6 instorrments, geelo inteler cledit card skim. Super is 25% more, and Deruxe Ultimate 50% more, round up to nearest fatt fatt for good feng shui. Oso, $500 for the starter kit and chip-base membership card.

Lingam What, that’s ridiculous!!

Frankie Niama!! Herro, fren, this produck cannot get from Amountarotaways Corp or Conwayarots Corp or ShakeeShakeearots Corp. MLM companies, orr sell washing riquid, useless herber stuff – ginko bilboa lah, bongkak ali tea put you sreep straight away lah, and 888 vitamins you dontch need lah, more expansive than MBM lah, and still orr producks pending FDA approva, after 10 years. SUCKS has excrusivity for Asia Pacific, no or not?

See, here photocopy my commission cheque for 3 months, Jan – $ 38,888, Feb - $68,888, March - $98,888. Here some more photocopy of down rine commission cheque – fantastic or no, hah?

Lingam I don’t know man. Seems too good to be true.

Frankie Come croser, I tell you very big big seclet summore. The MBM can also improve your-you-know-what lah with yous missus. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Ask Lessie, that’s why she can sell so many MBM beds – she do home servi as well.

Orr the rocals buy, especer those can have more than one wife. Whoa, normali you can do 1 time 1 night, after sleep on MBM, ayo, you wont belif me, can do 4 time 1 night mah! Ask Lessie Kaur, she got lepeat customer buy for brother and boss and oso wife buy for husband. No nid sing sad song ‘bangali one so long’ anymore. Her sale so good, if Bhai two Ultimate, can give Basic FREE one, you knows? Now with MBM, you have longer lasting the power. Better than Viagara anytime. I glantee one, no?

I know you Ingdian orr got dambig lingam, but you know old Chinese Confucing proverb ’it’s not the gun, but the gunner’.

Lingam When I came in I noticed there were pictures of skyscraper office buildings in Tokyo, Taipeh, New York, London and Paris hanging in the reception area. Does SUCKS have offices and business in all these countries?

Frankie Yes, propo ony. But soon, maybe 3 month more, becoz business super fantastic.

Lingam Who owns MBM? A public company?

Frankie Yes, not really lah. Chairman is a Latok, brother-in-law of sister-in-law of Jedi Master Planner of The Realm. Ony that way can now get MLM licen. So, Chinaman run business follow Steven Conningway Alibabaji biz model. Of coz, working on listing on stock market soon. So, you congsider buy one Ultimate and join MBM today? Don blame me no stock next wik, hah!

Lingam Oh, I don’t know. Have to think about it. Talk to my wife.

Frankie Maybe Lessie can give you home servi free demo, no? You congsider first one, hor?
donplaypuks® with my Poles, man!