THE NEXT GOVERNMENT.

BARISAN RAKYAT SHALL FORM THE NEXT GOVERNMENT!

SOS

SOS
nation in distress

The World Anthem


WE ARE ALL OF 1 RACE, THE HUMAN RACE.


29/10/2008

MAHATHIR WAS 100% RIGHT!! GREENSCAM, BANANACAKE & CAMDESSUS WERE 100% WRONG!!

MAHATHIR WAS 100% RIGHT. ALL YOU OTHER BASTARDS, THE ECONOMIST, WESTERN ECONOMISTS, THE IMF, WORLD BANK AND CABAL OF GORDON GEKKOS WERE WRONG! APOLOGISE NOW AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS!!

by keynes them all, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for world economic affairs













I was going to let it pass.

Right up to that millisecond after that master of convoluted incomprehensible English, Alan Greenscam, looked at the camera, blinked, and mumbled ‘I did not see it coming!’ I was stunned! For once, he was incomprehensibly, comprehensible!

It then struck me like a tsunami that all these bandicoots – Greenscam, Ben Bananacake, Paulsaulson in Wolf’s Clothings, Burning Bush, Goofy Blair, Warrenrabbit Phoebe (with apologies to ‘Friends’) Buffet, Gordonsgin Brown – and their counterparts in Europe, HK, China, India, Japan and Australia did not have a clue. For over 20 years they have been absolutely wrong. Do not forgive them Father for they ought to have known they were pathetically WRONG. They were GROSSLY overpaid not to have slept on their watch!!

Collectively they were responsible for perpetuating the greatest scam in the history of the World. Collectively they were GROSSLY NEGLIGENT and guilty of concocting America’s greatest export and business philosophy of the last 20 years, that:

Greed is Good, Unmitigated Greed, even better! And Unmitigated, Undiluted and Unvarnished Greed is BEST!! And if we can parcel it all and sucker it through WTO manipulation to the rest of the world, that is the icing on the cake. And if you can still keep your head and wits about you while others drop about you like bees in a smokehouse, why, my son, the scorched Earth is all yours, BUDDY!’

And they all bought it. Japan, because it is sorry for WWII, but ‘Roose face if aporogise.’ Germany because of WWI & WWII, but it is still not sorry for the Holocaust, ya wohl mein herr, Seig Heil! The Chinese because they secretly all want to be regarded as White Americans. The Indians because they all secretly want to follow China. The Honkies because they all have three jobs and secretly have no individual or collective conscience anymore. And the Singaporeans because they all secretly want to be White anyone. There, have I left out anyone in my racist tirade? Forgive me my anger because I failed to park a humongous financial loss on any bank or financial institution. I shall go to my grave with the regret of this oversight foremost on my mind.

From the South Sea Bubble episode of the 18th century, through the 1929 Wall St. Crash, October 1987 Black Monday, 1997 Asia Currency Crises, massive frauds at Barings Bank, Bank Bumi, Bank Nat Paris, Enron, Global Crossings, Tyco and especially the rape of America and UK by its CEO’s, major shareholders and top management, some facts are palpably clear. That the inalienable right to pursuit of happiness has been interpreted to mean the inalienable right to accumulate Midas and Croesus-like wealth at the expense of anybody, including one’s mother. And when in trouble, the rich and well-connected are entitled to en masse embrace ‘dole’ socialism, nay, communism, and call for the State to bail them out OR ELSE……!

Which means you, me, the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker are the one’s who will really have to cough up and forgo our measly budget LCC airlines propelled annual week’s holiday or our children’s overseas education savings, so that America can continue funding the search for WMD’s in Iran and Afghanistan.

All the Citibanks, Wachovias, Merril Lynchs, Morgan Stanleys, Goldman Sachs, Lehman’s et al have to bleat is that ‘This is Armageddon. We cannot let the banks sink (or else we will also sink)’ or ‘The CONTAGION will sink EVERYBODY’ for their buddies in the Treasury to echo the same words and swing into action with $700 billion of money that does not exist and will be created by the simple expediency of marshalling the printing presses into overtime.

Has anyone thought of the consequences of printing so much money which is not backed by real assets and wealth. Don’t worry about that buddy, let the Chinese and Indians figure that out for theirs is the future and the truly fucked shall inherit the barren Earth. Welcome to the virtual world of the Matrix where money can be created by hey presto and abracadabra.

So, here’s my dime’s worth of advice of how to put the World’s Financial System in order.

1. Ban all Speculative Trading in Oil, Commodities and Currencies and their Futures. Only producers and exporters of goods, services and commodities shall be allowed to forward sell to genuine buyers who will take physical delivery.

Thus a day trader sitting in a coconut shell in Langkawi will not be able to speculate in soya beans futures while hedging potential losses by a $:Yen interest-rate swap derivative secured by AIG insurance quoted on the Humbug Index which in turn is tied to the toxic sub-prime mortgage 2000% per annum ROI (whatever that means) and guaranteed by Developmentnomore Offshore Bank of Panama, which all vanished in a puff of smoke in September 2008!!

Remember, currency is not a commodity to be traded as recently demonstrated by Zimbabwe and its trillion $ note!

2. Ban all naked and other short selling on any Stock Exchange. The underlying principle shall be that one must have paid in money for shares or commodities etc and owned them legally before one call sell. Lending of share scripts should be totally banned.

3. Ban all contra share trading. The stock markets are meant for long-term investors. Those interested in making quick gains can buy lottery tickets, head for the casinos, bet on the EPL or whatever one fancies. Thus you have to pay for and own a share before you can sell it, period. Sure, the share market will be boring. But, boring and steady growth are infinitely better than bankruptcy, suicide and 300,000 Icelanders waking up one morning and suddenly finding themselves jobless while the Irish and British simultaneously wake up and find they have been sodomised from afar by Icelanders!

4. Proposals for all new financial instruments shall be reviewed by a specialist independent think-tank co-opted into the relevant Securities Exchanges. If it looks like or smells like a junk bond or artificial derivative, it shall not see the light of day. 50% of any such approved instrument shall be subscribed for in cash and held until redemption without further disposal or packaging (toxic masking and tarting up) by the lead underwriter, merchant and other banks involved.

The acid test for the approval of such a financial instrument shall be whether your granny or Aunty May or Petunia is able to understand what it is, how it works and what its downside risks are.

5. Share, Property & Investment Margin Financing should at all times be restricted to equity:debt of 2:1 i.e. for every $1 of cash you have, the bank will lend you no more than 50 cents. Banks shall also not extend further margin should the market value of investments appreciate since we must adhere to the principle that investment is for the long-term and not allow for the double-whammy casino mentality to get even a toe-hold.

6. All professionals who support a prospectus for sale of shares, securities, investments etc must be made financially liable for any opinion they express in support of such sales, secured by an appropriate deposit in cash, irrevocable bank guarantee or LC.

7. No lending shall be approved by any bank or financial institution unless a thorough independent credit check and rating has been carried out by the lender who shall be liable for any negligence. Lenders shall establishing the maximum any individual or company can borrow on a global basis by setting up a linked Credit Rating Agency. This will go a long way towards preventing companies like GE hocking all their cashflow and being unable to pay staff salaries and basic overheads when pork futures go belly-up in Beijing.

8. Appointment of internal and external auditors and independent directors of public and listed companies shall fall under the purview of a Govt-established body. If the Boards, Chairmen and CEO’s do not co-operate, the Govt shall be empowered to sack them and close the company down.

Self regulation is a joke and has long been a ticket for conscienceless ‘captains of industry’ to write their own paycheck at the expense of minority shareholders and the Govt. Similarly, the functioning of the regulatory bodies for Accountants, Lawyers & Solicitors, Doctors etc shall all be taken out of the hands of accountants, lawyers and doctors and be placed in the hands of the Government. That’s what Governing means, not outsourcing the security of chicken farms to the foxes!

9. The huge hundred million $ bonuses and stock-option payouts to CEO’s and top Management shall first be paid into a Govt Trust Fund and be released to the beneficiaries only after a period of 3 years following their departure provided no frauds or financial collapse occurs which can be traced to their tenure in office. If a relevant fraud occurs after the money has been released, investors shall be entitled to go after the personal assets of these CEO’s even if they have been transferred to their spouses, children, trust fund etc.

10. The bare minimum punishment for financial misdemeanours, frauds and wanton mismanagement shall be whipping and three years hard labour in prison with no remission or plea bargaining. For the more serious offences, whipping, caning, amputation, beheading and all other forms of capital punishment shall also be mandatory. Way to go Iran and China! By this reckoning, we should be offering high mass for members of the Fed Reserve, Greenscam, the Secretary of the Treasury and their counterparts in UK and Europe while many shall line the streets and cheer.

11. The issue of credit cards shall be governed on the same principle as bank lending, on a global credit rating for each individual. Credit cards may not offer cash advance facility, which invariably results in those with low credit rating using it as an unsecured overdraft. Credit card issuing companies will suffer low growth? I reckon lower default rates will balance things out.

12. Lastly, and this has nothing to do directly with the financial system. But all the additional money that people will have saved by not being able to gamble on the Casino Stock Exchanges in the World, shall be used to repair Global Warming and to assemble the largest Army in Human History to invade the Dutch, Japanese, Russian, Norwegian, Thai, Chinese, Indian and other environment terrorists and poachers who cull baby seals, sharks, dolphins and whales or hunt tigers, elephants, lions, zebras, pangolins and bears (for their paws only) for profit.

Those captured shall be forced to work without pay in the Accounts Department of Lehman Brothers. Merril Lynch, Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs to total up the daily payables and receivables manually, i.e. without the aid of a calculator or computer, several times a day!

How to make this financially viable, you ask? Go figure it out BANANACAKE DUMMY! That’s why you were overpaid $1 million before.

No doubt these measures will perhaps throw a million or so people out of their jobs in the financial sector, Worldwide. But such a catharsis is necessary in the short-term for the long-term orderly and systematic economic growth of individual countries and the World.

I worry deeply when many today plunge for a degree in business studies and a career in the financial sector, equating it with a licence to accumulate wealth at any and all costs.

The moral dimension of ill-begotten gains seems to be neither a consideration nor an obstacle to the accumulation of wealth.

And why would it, with the stellar example demonstrated Worldwide by our so called Guardians and Financial Experts.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Sea_Bubbles?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wall_Street_Crash_of_1929
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stock_market_crash_in_1987
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_financial_crisis
http://malayscandals.blogspot.com/2007/08/scandal.html

donplaypuks® with the economy, man!!

22/10/2008

EXCERPTS from MILITARY INTEL REPORTS- 2 (P&C. FOR EYES & EARS ONLY)

'TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS or courting disasters'

by al solzhenitsyn, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for self-appointed benevolent dictators' affairs








Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed Komrad General, have you deployed your cannon-fodd.., er I mean, your hero soldiers, throughout the country to prevent any resurrections or revolutions? Are they not oreddy on max Defcon 10 Alert?

Komrad 8-Star General Er, Komrad next-Great Leader, which revolution would that be?

Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed Fool, dumpkof!! Don you read The Buntutsan or New State Parsely Sage Rosemary Thighymes newspapers. I have just got Komrad Magoo Jagger No Pedra Bianca, Jedi Master Planner of the Realm for Home Science, to ban Indraf. That will hopefully provoke their followers to violence. We will then Mohd ISA them all and have another clean-up Show Trial. Komrads I Raja Polis, Big Moose Beria (IRPB), and AG, Ganesh Patel Malenkov, are on stand-by oreddy!!

Komrad 8-Star General I have been a little busy with the Muslim-separatist insurrections in our northern border. I just got back by LCC Airlines. And how could Indraf be banned if they are not a registered party, Komrad next-Great Leader?

Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed Idiot!! You are the only 8-Star General in the world as noted in our Genius Book of Records. If we can achieve that in Bolehland, we can ban existing or non-existent anything. Geddit?? And what do you mean you returned by LCC Airlines. What happened to our helicopters?

Komrad 8-Star General All the old Sickorsky Duriduku helicopters have been superbly crashed by our Towering Glocal pilots. So, we have to rely on commercial airlines to get us about. We need a new fleet quickly, preferably by yesterday!

Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed Don you worry about that. We have accepted the most expensive bid of $2.3 bil for 12 new Euro Cockermamie-Spaniel Heli 725. This is about $1 bil more than the next-most economical alternative. What a truly marvellous TOWERING achievement! All procedures have been adhered to by the Book, i.e. SOP. But if you were us, would you go for the Rolls Royce of Helis or the Prodana version?

Komrad 8-Star General The Rolls Royce of course! We MUST have the best and the most expensive or our neighbours will laugh at us. No question or arguing about it. National pride is at stake! We can't just plunk for one from Toys R Us, can we? Komrad, may I in the same breathe of true patriotism, recommend my $2 fully cash paid-up family company, Salvation Army Sdn. Bhd., for a $300 mil administration and maintenance-liaison National Service contract tie-up?

Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed Hmm, thats mean the contract cost will have to be increased to $3 bil to accommodate your brilliant proposal as well as several trips for army chiefs (including wives & bits on the side), a 100-strong Defence contingent and Heads of Army Pension Fund Trustees to carry out several arduous recon trips to Paris and Galleries Lafayette and for increase in miscellaneous petty cash expenses. And also for visits to nearby countries and places like London and Oxford St. and Geneva and Munich. I suppose that could be arranged since Baginda Altantuya screwed things up in Paris with his Perimeter Sdn. Bhd. and Mongolian Dutch-wife hot-press escapade.

Komrad 8-Star General Hrrmph, Komrad next-Great Leader, I must alert you that our Heli Generals are more than a little miffed that IRPB had by-passed SOP and personally directly lobbied the Geat Leader who now has oreddy awarded the new 30-year contract to CroneyCoAsia Jets to lease 34 helis for I Polis Raja (IPR) for a whopping $20 bil. Why does IPR need 34 Helis while the Army is only allocated 12?

Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed Komrad General, be careful what you say and to whom you say it. You have just proposed your retirement plans. So, too have others who may have to retire prematurely. Besides, $20 bil spread out over 30 years is peanuts compared to Bush's $700 bil bail-out of Wall Street and $1 tril Iraq Invasion Cost. Come the revolution, the Army cannot be involved as the natives in the heartland would not approve of it. So, IPR may have to spring into action to nip things in the bud, especially at Port Dickson where I may have to rush to in case of pressing needs emegency, which occurs about twice a week!

Komrad 8-Star General But O' next-Great Leader, Komrad IRPB has just had a multiple bypass op and is in no position to spring further than you can toss him. Besides, he, like Komrad AG Ganesh Patel Malenkov, is being sued by Sir Abim Obasama, Barisan Rakyat's Leader, for abuse of power and manufacturing false evidence. And all these trials, won't they back-fire on you?

Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed We are only taking a leaf out of the pages of history. But, we are not as cruel as the Russians and their OGPU/NKVD/KGB were. We have comparatively few Great Purge Show Trials and arrests in this region - Burma, Thailand, N.Korea, Vietnam etc. - as follows:

1. Sodomy 2 Trial involving Komrad Sir Abim Obasama, Leader of Barisan Rakyat.
2. Sedition Trial of Komrad R. Peter K now under Mohd. ISA indefinite detention.
3. Sedition Trial of Komrad Blogger Kick Dick Head.
4. ISA Arrest of Reporter (for her own safety and protection).
5. ISA arrest of MP Mother Teresa (based on ex-Jedi Fujimori Toyota's blog and Buntutsan newsaper's patently precipitate and false accusations).
6. Arrest and indefinite detention of Indraf leaders and 62 others.
7. Planned arrest of several Indraf supporters and blogggers for misbehaviour at $2 million New Year Open House bash paid for by taxpayers' money.

Komrad 8-Star General But Komrad next-Great Leader, this is thothally unfair. IRPB has also been implicated in $4 bil directly negotiated non-tendered out IT contract for IPR HQ awarded to a Lion City company owned by Israeli agents and spies. IRPB again bypassed SOP by writing directly to the Great Leader in getting approval to over-turn the Treasury's Tender Board recommendations. How greedy can one get? How large a Pension Fund does one man need? At the rate IRPB is going, he will soon have enough funds to make a bid to take over the whole of the USA, based on current valuations!!

Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed I must say he's showing a lot of initiative and innovation lately. Not bad for a once foot-patrol cop. Perhaps, we should promote him to Jedi Master Planner of the Realm for Home Science once he's fully recovered. But you are right. There are limits. We must nip this excessive exuberance of IRPB in the bud. Fight fire with fire. Can you handle it?

Komrad 8-Star General Er, I have been an army man all my life. So, I am not too conversant with all this political mumbo-jumbo and corporate wheeling and dealing. You'll have to count me out!

Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed Then I have no alternative but to deal with the devil we know. Here, get me Baginda Altantuya's shyster mouth-piece on my CIA 200% totally secure cell phone. This is a one-of-a-kind cell phone whose transmissions can never be intercepted. State-of-the-art. Sooper-dooper! You ever seen one like this?

Komrad 8-Star General No, Komrad O' next-Great Leader. Where did you get it from? Perhaps we can work on an exclusive directly negotiated non-tendered out $1 bil contract to supply these CIA cell phones to all our top Security Personnel, Special Branch and Jedi Master Planners.

Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed Good, excellent. You are a quick learner! Yes, IRPB got me one from this Lion City IT Specialist Co which is doing that $4 bil contract at IPR HQ.

Komrad 8-Star General Good God, you don mean that Israeli prepaid connection.....? Do you?

Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed Good God you don mean..? No wonder it's branded as 'Star of Daud!!' That stupid IRPB! One of these days he will end up like Trotsky who had a famous encounter with an ice-pick!! Komrad General, we have no choice. I must alert the Great Leader about a possible Zionist konspiracy and about declaring a National Emergency straight away. Get your cannon fodd...er, er I mean our War Heroes mobilised at once!!!

Komrad 8-Star General At once Komrad next-Great Leader. Patriots to the fore. Tenn Hutt!!

Komrad Stalin Rosemajibbed Patriots on all fours, indeed! Dismissed!!

donplaypuks® with my pension plans, man!!
* SOP - Standard Operating Procedure

16/10/2008

A TOTALLY FICTITIOUS SHORT TALL STORY ABOUT THE IMAGINARY ASSASSINATION OF MASTER JEDI PLANNER OF THE REALM FOR HOME SCIENCE










LH Oswald, donplaypuks® lone and only (as determined by the Rabbit's Warren Commission) correspondent for assassination affairs has been specially commissioned to pen a thothally fictitious short-story about the successful assassination of non-existent Master Jedi Planner of the Realm for Home Science, Magoo Jagger No Pedra Bianca.

All the fictitious bald facts shall be revealed!! All names and persons mentioned in this completely fabricated untrue story are fictitious; any resemblance to real persons - living, dead, mentally retarded with sub-zero IQ they had to go to college to acquire and short, bald and fat - is unintended and thothally coincidental.

STORY BRIEFS:

A lone gunman approaches the grassy knoll from the direction of the Kamunting Book Depository Building as the motorcade approaches the T-junction. In the lead roof-top down Prodana Limo sits the short, bald and overflowingly fat Master Jedi Planner for the Realm for Home Science, Magoo Jagger No Pedra Bianca. You could tell it was a Prodana Limo from the windows which were tinted from the outside!..........

Thousands of fictitiously banned Indraf and Makkal Sakthi supporters of all races line the motorcade route screaming holy words of support for the Jedi Master Planner's genius in banning a non-existent and non-political party. Dai Pundai, Fcuk and such holy words ring out.................

The lone gunman screws the silencer on to his custom-made Kalashnikov sniper rifle which is fitted with night-vision scope even though it is broad daylight! He loads the dum-dum bullets and the Zapruder bullet so that later the special CIA and local SB investigators would be thothally confused and lie that the bullet reversed directions after being fired!!.........

The lone gunman was of course motivated (blindly misled) to carry out this thothally fictitious assassination by a thothally imaginary article allegedly penned by Latok Khairil Rockyhorrorshow in the New State Parsely Sage Rosemay Thighymes Buntutsan Toilet Newspaper. The Buntutsan had fictitiously alleged that Magoo Jagger No Pedra Bianca, had lodged a complaint that locals had protested against the ringing of bells during morning and evening prayers at Indraf Temples thus fictitiously stirring up racial and religious outrage......

The Buntutsan, which has been fictitiously sued for $30 mil for slander and defamation by the imaginary family of the fictitiously assassinated Jedi Master Planner, has denied all liabilty and demanded an unequivocal apology and compensation of $1 bil for fictitiously dragging its good name into public opprobium and odium. The Buntutsan also fictitiously claimed that it had merely re-printed a posting that had appeared on ex-Jedi Master Planner Latok Fujimori Toyota's fictitious blog. Toyota was himself being fictitiously sued for $1 bil by several parties................

CAVEAT EMPTOR & E & EO. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WITHOUT PREJUDICE. CARPE DIEM & PER DIEM!!
donplaypuks® with my assassination short tall stories, man!!
ps
The full version of the short tall story shall be published on 16th September 2020.

15/10/2008

GUESS WHO DROPPED IN FOR HARI RAYA HOLS TEA & CURRY PUFF OPEN HOUSE ONETIME WITH donplaypuks®??!!

or hats, caps, headgear and masks

by cecil lichfield kodakaroid, donplaypuks® intrepid photographer for tete-a-tete affairs

some easy to identify, others not so!

(place cursor on pic for answer)


little bo peep


yasser arafatbatman





cleopatra
charlie chaplin
sir winston churchill











iron man
general de gaulle
indiana jones


abraham lincoln mickey mousemedusa



napoleon bonaparte
the popejawaharlal nehru







superman
popeye the sailor man
spiderman


mother teresa queen elizabeth andy capp









dang it, those hindraf and Mohd. ISA blogger abolishionists did not turn up!!! wonder which open house paid for with millions of taxpayers' money they gate-crashed? and the PM and some wooden cabinet members were miffed they did not wish everyone bon hari raya? they forgot 2007 when they held their agm on deepavali day and in 2008 announced elections during chinese new year celebrations?

respect gets as respect gives.

and when citizens are arrested for legitimately (as guaranteed by the Constitution) protesting (totally peacefully) against the government and are then sprayed with tear gas and pepper-laced water and finally held in prison without charge or trial under draconian prevention of terrorism laws, you think they should crawl on their knees and beg for mercy?

one day when it happens to the powers-that-be or their kith and kin, only then will they realise the enormity of the crime and injustice they have committed!!

did donplaypuks® miss any? do you know of some famous hats?

donplaypuks® with my tea mates, man!!

08/10/2008

MURMURS FROM MERCHANT SQ.

or 'The 4 Musketeers & All For One And One For All!'


or 'Oh, Ye Of Little Faith!'

by surya nades 15 beers, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for barisan rakyat affairs



Malkit Siang Gill Sr - The natives are getting restless! Whoa, I hantam sky-change lah, sea-change 916 lah, toll highway interchange lah, everywhere in my speeches lah. But still no toppling, no frogs leaping above or below the wind, bludder!!

Kapak Singh Gill - We can't rely on defections alone you know, your honour, Sir Abim Obasama.

SAO - Should we then rely on ex-National Central Bang plants masquerading as your Deputy Chairman?

Kapak Singh Gill - Come, come you honour. Don hit below the turban. Let's at least have THE LIST of frogs, brudder.

Tok Guru Nicholas Gill - Sabar brudders, Sabah. All in good thime. Have patien, have faith that Sir Abim will deliver. The opposition is panicking and in complete disarray. We are almost there.

SAO - I can confidently tell you we have the numbers. Some negotiations are still underway and have delayed matters. Rosemajibbed is being manipulated to topple Rip Van Winkle earlier than June 2010 so that Cassius Sil aka Hairy Plotter The Silly will not have time to place his men everywhere. Hairy is trying to get rid of the old guard like Grumpymopeydopeydin, Baldy Magoo No Bianca, Kerismudin, rAPfirewoman who secretly wants to come back, Mat Tyson Suitcase Empty etc. And of course ambitious amateur in-your-face upstarts like Shoveinyourass Updalcha. Their situation is shambolic!

Malkit Siang Gill Sr - It's all right for you. If you lose you will just go back to your IMF friends and Washington and lecher in Islamic studies again. But we may be forced to do a deal with the devil, dammit!!!

SAO - Don be stupid or act hastily! The rats are openly talking about deserting the sinking ship. Parti Tak Gerak now has an 80% mandate to jump ship and CHARSIU (Chinese Heavenly Association for Race, Sincerity, Intelligence & Unity) members are ready except for the stubborn old goats at the very top and their biz croneys who are afraid all the old dirty deals will be exposed. KALINGA (Kesatuan Alam Liga India Neo Ganga Arya) is a ship without a rudder or crew, all of whom have thrown their weight behind INDRAF (Indian Rights Action Force). KALINGA will be extinct within a year, but certainly before the 2013 General Elections!

Kapak Singh Gill - What about Kaviasitahardkaurass and the Pip Pip Pip Party, your honor? Maybe the Indians will go there to avoid being Mohd ISA'd?

SAO - A man, any man, who does not immediately defend his people's integrity, honour and self-respect when they are unjustifiably insulted and humiliated publicly by people like that Turkish mamak Ketuanan Melayu Jedi Master Planner for Parameswara Land from PUKS (Parti Uniti dan Keadilan Semenanjung), cannot hope to lead a pair of battery jump start cables let alone a political party. So, he and his party are now history. Oh, I forgot, he has 1 supporter - Stephanie from that corner-shop in Ampang!

Malkit Siang Gill Sr - But bludder, they are threatening to Mohd ISA everyone for their own safety and well-being!!

Sivajiraja SD- It's not like you haven't been there before. When they start arresting bloggers and then reporters and MP's without even preliminary investigations, you can smell their fear and desperation. They are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. What, if your, our and Tok Guru's supporters all decide to march peacefully tomorrow, how many can they arrest? How long can they survive from the international back-lash and flight of FDI's?

Kapak Singh Gill - Areva bhai, easy for you to say. I'm on a wheel-chair, very difficult to go for a wee wee or no.2 call in Kamunting you know, you honour.

Mohd Clay Ali - Brudders. I and Abim have been through some of the most trying and terrible times since '98. So, facing these obstacles is nothing new. A question of mind over matter. I assure you all that we will get there soon. September 16th created the panic. All you Gills are behaving like novice fish out of water, for God's sake!! Soon, we'll go for the kill !! And think of the positives. We have their ex-Minister for Law on our side.

Tok Guru Nicholas Gill - That's right! Mecca was not conquered in a day, remember that!!

Malkit Siang Gill Sr - And that's what worries me Tok Guru. Are your loyalties to our Group or Mecca, Medina, the Ayatollah and the Taliban/Al Qaeda?

Tok Guru Nicholas Gill - As you make your bed, so must you lie on it.

SAO - Very cryptic remarks, Tok Guru. But, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, we must not act rashly. STAND UNITED. AGREED? ONE FOR ONE AND ALL FOR ONE!! And don forget, we are all loyal to the King! And THE LIST remains with me alone until I meet Him!!

ALL - AGREED!! ONE FOR ONE AND ALL FOR ONE!!

donplaypuks® with my musketeers, man!!

donplaypuks® havoxbridge dictionary of manglish:
bhai - punjabi for brother
bludder - brudder, brother
hantam - whack
land below the wind - Sabah
sabar - patience
SAO - Sir Abim Obasama, leader of Barisan Rakyat political party
thime - time

ps

the original 3 Musketeers in Alexandre Dumas's 1844 novel were Athos, Porthos & Aramis (now a famous after-shave) led by the hero D'artagnan, the 4th Musketeer.

01/10/2008

OOH! OODLES OF NOOKIE NOODLES!!

by armand egon michelin, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for gastronomic affairs

Competition has hotted up in the instant noodles market with the timely introduction of a saucy new range under the brand name Nookie, produced and marketed by glocal aspiring Indian enterpreneurs, Mamaggi. Denied any assistance from official Entrepreneurial Schemers, local and foreign banks, the Mamaggi Group from Port Kelang started a unique Kutu funding finance scheme to set up its factory and commence production in November 2007 with a start-up capital of $100 mil.

The response to Nookie Noodles has surpassed all expectations and Mamaggi is planning to set up new factories in Sg. Siput, Melaka and Iskandar Regional Development in Johor Bahru. In order to keep overheads low and to bypass the ususal middleman mafia, Mamaggi has embarked on a novel telemarketing direct selling scheme for their Nokkie instant noodles.

Get a 6-pack now for only $ 5 + for p&p add $1 to anywhere in the country and enjoy special free gifts!! HURRY before stocks run out !! CALL NOW !!! Refer to our catalogue below. Same day delivery by rpetra@sd2day.courier.com . All products are guaranteed Melamine Free.

CALL 1-300-916-1016-1116-1216 NOW to place your orders with one of their friendly telemarketeers. CALL NOW or forever hold your piece!!


























































and more flavours are in the production pipe-line to suit all tastes.

donplaypuks® with my Nookie Noodles, man !!