by james joy's juice what the dickens, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for literally fiction affairs
Hot on the heels of police led raids on publishers and bookshops and confiscations of all known copies of 'The March To Putrajaya' by Kim Kwek (sounds very suspicious, this Chinese name with only two parts; must be a Zionist plot) and Zunar's cartoons, Home Minister Kerismudin I Apologise, Not, left no stone or page unturned in ferretting out more possibly seditious and dangerous books by local authors that might sow the seeds of riots and revolution as in Tunisia and Egypt.
Kerismudin claimed at a press conference at the national airport accompanied by 60 "empty" Xtra Large Samsonite suitcases and Buntutsan Daily and New State Parsely, Sage Rosemary and Thighimes Newspaper hacks that, of course, what had occurred in Tunisia and Egypt and had seemingly spread to Algeria, Bahrain and Yemen, could not possibly be replicated here because the people were in full possession of all the government works of fiction. Nevertheless, he proposed 'to nip things in the bud' as 'Squad Fahrenheit 451' flaming officers from his 'book 'em Dano' division went full swing into action to remove from bookshelves across the nation, 35 potentially "inflammatory" books penned by several local writers . Kersimudin assured the public that all flammatory books were safe.
The unlikely books, titles and authors' names are classified under OSIBISA (Official Secrets, Intelligence, Banking and Internal Security Act).
The unlikely books, titles and authors' names are classified under OSIBISA (Official Secrets, Intelligence, Banking and Internal Security Act).
However, donplaypuks® through its moles in 'Squad Fahrenheit 451' managed to secure the highly classified unlikely list of books as follows:
- $100 Million Consultants? My Ass! by Rosemajib
- Civil Serpents by SS Sidek Cirkhusring
- Corretc!Corretc!Corretc! The Whole Tooth Fairy by Lingam’s Saucy Chili
- Dry Docks $4 Billion Floating Submarines by Aminah See Four
- End Affirmative Action Today! by I.Ali
- Fine Backstabbing Traditions by Kerismuddin
- Free Haircuts (in the dark) For Sikhs by NS Barber
- He Strangled Himself To Death by MA Cowes N. Carse
- How To Build The Taj Mahal for $3.5 million by K.Shah Jahan Toyota
- Interlok For Indians by G. Palani S.Velu
- Jet Engines of Uruguay by A.Ganesh Patel
- Kit, Don’t Lie! You Were There Last Summer by Maha Firaun
- Maha Firaun, Don’t Be Economical With The Truth! I Was Not There Last Summer by Kit
- Kugan’s Peaceful Death by Hole In The Head
- Lee Kuan Yew, My Best Friend by Maha Firaun
- Mgf Malott, Wecome To Malaysia! by Adolph H.Nazri
- National Bankruptcy Laboratory by Roti Jalai
- No Commissions, Love of Country by AR Rahman Bankindamoneybaginda
- No Cyberspace Censorship by BS Rice Tim
- No Highway Tolls For Thee (For The People, Yes) by NS Plus Saad
- Nuclear The Future by Chernobyl Tenaga NB
- Only Off The Rack Department Store Budget Clothes For Me by R.Flom
- Only Merit Based Scholarships For All by JP Awam
- Open Tender, Of Course (In Due Course)! by MoD Mad Zaid
- People Power ? In Malaysia? Maybe. Egypt? Impossible! by Rosemajib
- Quid Pro Quo or $5 million, Anyone? by Rosemajib
- Safe GM Nuclear Mosquitos by A.Nophe Les Swat Ouch
- Tanah China by I.Ali
- Teaching The England 1.01 by Muhy the Yiddunce
- The AG Is Clean by Showmedamoney Ramona
- The Queen Is Supreme by R.Flom
- There Was Once A Crooked Man Who wanted To Build A Crooked Bridge All With His Own Crooked Money And The Crooked Government Would Not Let Him. Sob! by Maha Firaun
- Valentine’s Day For All Malaysian by Jais A.Thot
- We All Love Arasia, Now Everyone Can Collect Retrenchment Pay by Mana Ada System
- Singapore, My First Love by Maha Firaun
Read 'em and weep! More books may soon be added to the above list!
donplaypuks® with my books, man!
Haha!!! I was almost fooled when I saw your blog title in my Google reader LOL!!! I thought to myself - what the??? How come I missed this piece of news? With much haste, I came to your blog with the click of the mouse and voila - I have been greatly entertained.
ReplyDeleteLove the excellent word play and puns.
As always, please blog more often!!!
God knows we need more humor in the net to keep sane with all the madness raging around!
Take care and till we meet again!
Cheers!
Great books! ;-)
ReplyDeleteP.S. I echo MWS when she says "blog more often!!!"
Hi MWS
ReplyDeleteGlad it brightened up your day. Perahsp you could be inspired to contribute some titles as well?
dpp
Hi R
ReplyDeleteDon lah leave me in suspenders! Wonder who you are.
Blog more often? Law of diminishing returns... the more I write, the less I write!
Any other titles you heard of banned?
dpp
Hey R
ReplyDeleteYou can always send me a email at za@donplaypuks.com
Well done again bro.More of this and we shall have a compulsory text book for fifth form English next year. You would be rich at last.
ReplyDeleteCan I get these books from Amazon ? I seem to have missed these great Malaysian tomes.
ReplyDeleteHow come Rumour/Humour/Tumour by Midnight Voiz didn't make it to 35+1?
ReplyDeleteWhat lah, I protest my marketing team headed by HH didn't work heart enuf-lah, so noobber of besta kambing at Lingam's-- maybe at BUM2011 which I hear on Rumoour/H/T grapevine thou art chairing ah? -- YL, Desi, knottyaSsusual
Hi PH
ReplyDeleteTry amazingbooks.com. Cheers
dpp
Desi
ReplyDeleteDon listen to rumours. No chairs for me! Ciao!
dpp