by mao zedong, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for ministers and prime ministers affairs
Minister for failed Agro Agri regional hub for plastic refrigerators for fish, Ishmael Sabitch Jacob, today denounced statements attributed to him in his Facebook page urging Malays to boycott Chinese businesses such as Old Town Coffee Plc from profiteering at the expense of the Malay-majority populace. A visibly upset Sabitch claimed it had all the earmarks of 12-year old hackers from Russia, China, and Bangalore, and Zionist, Islamaphobe and Communist Chinese plotters. He vehemently denied having written that:
"The majority
of consumers are Malay, Chinese are a minority. If the Malays boycott their
businesses, they will surely have no choice but to reduce their price. Malays
are still refusing to boycott ‘Old Town White Coffee’ what more when its owner
is said to be the DAP Ngeh family of Perak who are known to be anti-Islam. As
long as the Malays don't change, the Chinese will take the opportunity to
oppress the Malays. I am referring to Chinese traders who are reluctant to
reduce the prices of goods even though the price of petrol has come down. What
I want to emphasise is for people not to depend solely on the government to
ensure the price of goods comes down because as consumers, they can use their
power to pressure businesses. Imagine, many Chinese eateries have no 'halal'
logo and they have been raided a few times and caught because their 'halal'
certification is suspect, (but) Malays continue to crowd these restaurants,
when there are thousands of Malay restaurants which are genuine 'halal'."
"Where is is the proof? I will not apologise! What is there to apologise about you stinking chinks!" he thundered while deleting the relevant Facebook page. "I never said Chinese traders, I only said rogue traders, meaning Malay, Chinese, Indian and Others ROGUE traders. To prove my integrity, sincerity and honesty and that I have nothing to hide, I produce below the original post BEFORE it was hacked and defiled by the Russian, Jewish, Indian, Chinese and Other conspirators:
"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to reinforce the political bands which have connected them with another, and to
assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which
the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the
opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel
them to the separation.
We hold these truths
to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by
their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life,
Liberty, the pursuit of Happiness and the right not to be exploited by profiteering-minded Malay, Chinese, Indian and Other rogue traders.
That to secure these rights, Governments
are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the
governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these
ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute
new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its
powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety
and Happiness."
The immediate response from Yosef Kracko Korupt, Minister for National (dis)Unity was scintillating and instantly becalmed those urging the IGP to arrest the rogue Minister for seditious writings:
"Ishmael Sabitch Jacob's words were well-intended to spur racism and riots and to distract the citizenry from guaranteed rise in prices from GST due to be introduced nationally by the BUMNO/SCUMNO government in April. to encourage the Malay people to take the law into their own hands do their own enforcement. Read his original writing above. He should be awarded the Nobel Prize for, er...., World Piss Peace, no?"
Meanwhile, Prime Minister Grossmajib who wears the pants, and her husband who wears the loin cloth and Mongolian skirts, responded with a press release from the PMO with well-intended fine words calculated to sooth fraying tempers and global calls for Ishmael Sabitch Jacob to be given the boot forthwith from the (IKEA wooden) Cabinet. Here is the original version with corrections by PMO's 5th floor spindoctors:
"WE note that Ishmael Sabitch Jacob had (and this is terminological inexactitudiness) only insulted all traders, not just the Chinese one thype of ethnically oriented yellow-skinned people from the land of the yellow communists dragon. Ergo cogito, no race one should feel racially insulted or threatened since the Chinese they were not individually targetted (that's brilliant, yang, like the Altantuya and Ropiaah case!). WE have nothing to say about the blatant lie by that stupid low IQ troglodyte git Minister who should be dropped from the top of the Petronas Tower, the right (dis)honourable Minister Ishmael Sabitch Jacob's disclosure that the Ngeh family owned shares in Old Town Coffee Plc or that they were anti-Islamic. This is not about one man, one company, one 3-in-1 coffee, one tea shit whatever or one Islam. Malay Consumers must be smart and boycott all Chinese unprincipled establishments. Although WE control ALL permits, licences, approvals etc. for timber, rice, sugar, salt, chemicals, oil, airlines, bulbs, bread, beef, mutton, chicken, shipping, petrol stations, energy etc. etc. it is the fault of the Chinese rogues, George Soros and Tong Kooi Ong of The Edge, when the economy crashes, currency plunges, prices spiral and all the GLC's and monopolies (granted by US) go belly up. WE repeat, the RM42 billion bond debt and RM2.5 billion junk bonds derivatives loan debt will not sink 1GrossmajibMDB1MDB and Malaysia; Kanda and Lodin will see to it successfully. There is no rumour to the truth that Minister Sabitch will soon be posted to Outer Mongolia as Ambassador or be appointed as Chairman of the monopoly Quango RM2 (but with RM2 billon "soft" no specific repayment government loan and with no relevant experience) company for Norwegian Salmon Farming in Tropical Sea Waters. We call for all Malays to close ranks against all the Chinese economic plunderers, looters and saboteurs for national unity. Sieg Heil!" PMO.
Elsewhere, Ms. Mohini Sabitch from the Malaysia Indian Curangu (Monkey) Party, did her best to save the day for the Sabitches when she supported Minister Sabitch:
"Minister Sabitch is fucking right. This is not being racist. Who
benefits from the price control? It is all of us and especially the
Chinese because of Chinese New Year which is just days away. They are
going to spend the most now. Get it right, Minister Sabitch controls the prices which have risen astronomically for the benefit of the Chinese. Is that wrong? Is that racist?”
Ms. Mohini Sabitch was last seen being escorted gracefully into the boot of her China-made Cherry car by party chimps and gorillas from the Malaysia Indian Curangu (Monkey) Party.
Donplaypuks® with gaji buta (sinecure) IKEA wooden Cabinet Ministers, man!
