The World Anthem




by sam costalottamoneyaways, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for mlm affairs

the floating magnetic bed


Lingam Hi, Jessie (Jeswindler Kaur), thank god, managed to find you. Wow, what a crowd so early on a Sunday morning, why there must be about 500 people here already. Looks like this ‘business proposal’ you have for me must be pretty interesting and good. What’s it all about?

Jessie Yes, we can all earn millions of $ in no time. But don’t let me spoil the surprise. Lemme introduce you to Frankie K Lim, my upline.

Lingam Up your what? No, never mind. How you doing Frankie, I‘m Lingam.

Frankie Prees to meetchyu, so prees meetchyu, you Lessie’s fren, hor?

Lingam No, we just met. I reincarnated as a day vampire to kill Jessie in front of you, and drink her blood, that’s why I kidnapped her and brought her here.

Frankie Ha, ha! You vely funny. Your friend ah Lessie, vely funny.

Lingam Tell me Frankie, what’s the K in your name stand for?

Frankie Killer, as in Killer Motivation, Killler Make Manee, cantch you gas?

Jessie Frankie’s been in sales for 10 years, was Sales Trainer for a very big MNC before joining this MLM company, Syarikat Usaha Chepat Kaya Seterus (SUCKS)

Lingam Which MNC was this you were with Frankie? Not the one that markets ‘Phd in Pidgin and Broken English in 30 days’ is it?

Frankie Yes, not that one, but you mas gif me the contact number HR manager there one, hor.

Lingam Sure will. Anyway Frankie, now that we are well acquainted, what am I here for?

Frankie Akchili, normali, you mas attends the Group intro session, but since you Lessie’s good fraan, and Lessie sooo good sell our produck, I give you specer 1 thu 1 train.

Lingam That’s very kind of you Frankie, thank you. So, what’s the ‘business proposal’ and the product?

Come, I show here in the showroom. This, hottest selling item west of Thokyo and Thighpeh, the mos super ‘Magnetic Bed & Mattress (MBM)’. Very the quality, very the power one. You sign up specer instorrment plan for the MBM, lecluit 5 more peepers, Lessie your uprine, then you can orr earn super commission one. You reach Uranium Geiger Hot Rever like me, then no nid you or wife work anymore. Just enjoy horriday orr year lound anywhere in the world, like me ha.

Lingam Then why are you here and not in Paris or Rome, on holiday?

Frankie Yes, jus do Lessie and you a favour, mah.

Lingam So, what does the MBM do and cost?

Frankie See ah, humer bodys got magnetic aula. You cantch see it, but you know is there rai? Like you really cantch see the atom, but is there, no? There is haymogrobin in the blood. Haymogrobin got iron, iron attract by magnet. So, if the yin and yang not barance in the bodys, not good, frow of chi is bad, rots of wind and gas and tengshen in the body. So, cantch sreep proper, and get strass out. Magnetic bed rearrign the yin and yang so good chi frow in the bodys one. So, no tengshen, no strass, no wind, no gas, sreep well. Come in 6 moder and 3 currur (Pink, Blue and Thaipusam Purple) with tag rines ah:-

Basic ‘Get your Poles up'
Super ‘Fantastic Force’
(with infra-red remote control)
4-User Auto ‘May the Fours be with You
(With vibrator mode)
Deluxe Ultimate ‘Shake It All About Within The Field’
Paradigm Shafting Control ‘South South Humdinger’
(for ex-Chief Jedi Master Planners
of The Realm )
AC/DC ‘North-North South-South Anywhichway But Loose’
(Exclusively for ex- Deputy Chief Jedi .
Master Planners of The Realm)
Orr make in PCR. Orr come with 2 year wallanty and glantee.

Lingam Any U.S.A. FDA approval?

Frankie Yes, pendings one.

Lingam How much?

Frankie Normali $13,888 for basick, but specer becoz you Lessie’s fraan, if you sign today, only $6,888, can pay 6 instorrments, geelo inteler cledit card skim. Super is 25% more, and Deruxe Ultimate 50% more, round up to nearest fatt fatt for good feng shui. Oso, $500 for the starter kit and chip-base membership card.

Lingam What, that’s ridiculous!!

Frankie Niama!! Herro, fren, this produck cannot get from Amountarotaways Corp or Conwayarots Corp or ShakeeShakeearots Corp. MLM companies, orr sell washing riquid, useless herber stuff – ginko bilboa lah, bongkak ali tea put you sreep straight away lah, and 888 vitamins you dontch need lah, more expansive than MBM lah, and still orr producks pending FDA approva, after 10 years. SUCKS has excrusivity for Asia Pacific, no or not?

See, here photocopy my commission cheque for 3 months, Jan – $ 38,888, Feb - $68,888, March - $98,888. Here some more photocopy of down rine commission cheque – fantastic or no, hah?

Lingam I don’t know man. Seems too good to be true.

Frankie Come croser, I tell you very big big seclet summore. The MBM can also improve your-you-know-what lah with yous missus. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Ask Lessie, that’s why she can sell so many MBM beds – she do home servi as well.

Orr the rocals buy, especer those can have more than one wife. Whoa, normali you can do 1 time 1 night, after sleep on MBM, ayo, you wont belif me, can do 4 time 1 night mah! Ask Lessie Kaur, she got lepeat customer buy for brother and boss and oso wife buy for husband. No nid sing sad song ‘bangali one so long’ anymore. Her sale so good, if Bhai two Ultimate, can give Basic FREE one, you knows? Now with MBM, you have longer lasting the power. Better than Viagara anytime. I glantee one, no?

I know you Ingdian orr got dambig lingam, but you know old Chinese Confucing proverb ’it’s not the gun, but the gunner’.

Lingam When I came in I noticed there were pictures of skyscraper office buildings in Tokyo, Taipeh, New York, London and Paris hanging in the reception area. Does SUCKS have offices and business in all these countries?

Frankie Yes, propo ony. But soon, maybe 3 month more, becoz business super fantastic.

Lingam Who owns MBM? A public company?

Frankie Yes, not really lah. Chairman is a Latok, brother-in-law of sister-in-law of Jedi Master Planner of The Realm. Ony that way can now get MLM licen. So, Chinaman run business follow Steven Conningway Alibabaji biz model. Of coz, working on listing on stock market soon. So, you congsider buy one Ultimate and join MBM today? Don blame me no stock next wik, hah!

Lingam Oh, I don’t know. Have to think about it. Talk to my wife.

Frankie Maybe Lessie can give you home servi free demo, no? You congsider first one, hor?
donplaypuks® with my Poles, man!


TYS said...

ho ho ho! What a wonderful post... I could almost feel I was at the MLM meeting myself

Donplaypuks® said...

thanks sus

i actually went to one at wisma TA some years back for exactly the same magnetic bed. what a con it was!!

yet, there were buyers who believed in that nudge!nudge!wink!wink! 'improves your sex' sales pitch and were willing to plonk their $s.


Tiens Network Marketing said...

Yes, a wonderful post that attracted my attention.

Would love to hear some testimonials from satisfied users.

Alexander of Kuala Lumpur