BREAKING NEWS! PM ANNOUNCES NEW MINISTERIAL POSTS!

by Birkin Bags Under The Eyes US$24 Million Jacobs Diamond Grossmahjib , Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for (wooden) Cabinet affairs at http://donplaypuks.blogspot.com

In view of the massive and sudden increase in Malaysia's population to 30 million, and the under-representation of the underclass in the nation, PM Grossmahjib and her husband who wears the skirt, Bijan, announced Thursday, a minor (IKEA wooden) Cabinet big-bang explosion and the immediate creation of several new Ministerial posts.

Here is the incomplete list of new Ministers:

1. MINISTER FOR ESSCOM
E.S. Shanker

2. MINISTER FOR ASS-COM
Kim Kardashian & Jan Selter

3. MINISTER FOR FAKE KANKUNG AND FAKE $1 CHICKEN
Bijan, holder of faked degree in Industrial MsEconomics, who also holds the positions of PM and Minister of Ms.Finance
Deputy Minister - My1din

4. MINISTER FOR MANGOSTEENS, LITHIUM ION BATTERIES AND DUKUS
Go-stan Jauh-hari, ex-CEO of Mana Ada Sistem Airlines

5. MINISTER FOR STOLEN PASSPORTS
'Don't Ask Me' Interpol Ash Burn, ex-IGP  

6. MINISTER FOR CONSCIENTIOUS REPORTING OF INCEST, RAPES & STATUTORY RAPES BY NON-MALAYS ONLY (SINCE MALAYS ALREADY CONSCIENTIOUSLY REPORT IT)
My1 Junaidi

7. MINISTER FOR FRAUDTREPRENEUR ALI BABA RICH CRONIES
 Apanama I Forget, Maha Firaun aka Iskandar Kutty

8. MINISTER FOR ENDEMIC SUDDEN DEATHS BY CHEST INFECTION AND NOT BEATINGS AT POLICE STATION LOCK-UPS
 'Slap in the face for $501' Rubber Truncheon Ahmad Hamidi

9.  MINISTER FOR IDENTIFYING BLACK IRANIAN NIGERIAN ITALIANS
Mario Azaharuddin Balodonttellem, DCA.

10. MINISTER FOR INSTANTANEOUS RESPONSE TO RADAR BLIPS
X-Ray Charles Rodzali David , ex-Air Force Chief

11. MINISTER FOR SCIENCE, ADVANCE PURE MATHEMATICS & SEARCH AND RESCUE (SAR) MISSIONS
Dato Millionaire Raja Bomoh & Ptnrs (Buy 1, Free 1 Consultation)

12. MINISTER FOR GOLF, BELLY DANCING, TRAVEL CUM STUDY (LAWATAN SAMBIL BELAJAR) AND OTHER $ MILLIONS OF FREELOADING AND CHEAPSKATE CONDUCT & HOLIDAY TRAVEL AFFAIRS WHOLLY, EXCLUSIVELY AND NECESSARILY AT TAXPAYERS' EXPENSE
FLOM FLOP Black Rose, the PM who wears the trousers
Deputy Minister - Bijan, the husband who wears the skirts

Deputy Deputy - Mopeydopeygrumpydin , the deputy who wears nothing

13. MINISTER FOR GOODS & SERVICES TAX (GST)

Outsourced for $1 deposit, concession period of 250 years and commission rate of only 5% to My Excellent Grandfather, Cronies and Ptnrs Genuine Donations and Not Kick Backs to BUMNO/SCUMNO Plc.

Have I missed out any new Ministers?
 Donplaypuks® with gaji buta new and old Ministers, man!