1GDB CSR MOVIES? GOOD GOD, WHAT NEXT?

by metro goldwyn moshe dayan, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for lampooning movie affairs

Given that a certain Ministry in Bolihland has warned the world that criticising the government or making fun of it would be akin to condoning and committing genocide, we, as responsible citizens must, of course, cease and desist, forthwith! In the same breathe, the Ministry is of course hinting that our mocking 1MDB would be frowned upon by the authorities, and would be viewed as traitorous and treasonous conduct, comparable to the disgraceful Geert Wilder lampooning The Prophet. So, like dutiful citizens, we will abstain.

However, 1Grossmajib Development Bumkum or 1GDB is another matter. Why should we in Bolihland have scant respect for an organization based in Switzerland, Saudi Arabia and the Cayman Island, that has ripped off its shareholders of $46 billion in bond, bank loan and other derivative debt instruments?

It has come to our attention that 1GDB, which cannot service 1 cent of its $46 billion debt without shareholder bailout, has been "donating" money for "worthy" Corporate Social (Irr)Responsibility (CSR) projects. Billions of dollars worth. When the team at donplaypuks® hacked and dug into the secret files of 1GDB, we found that it had been sponsoring movies as well, while its kitty was empty. It had bought over the rights to many Oscar-winning and other popular movies and Bolihlandized it. What are these movies, you ask in amazement? Fortunately, we have the list right here:

ORIGINAL MOVIE	1GDB CSR SPONSORED RE-MAKE
50 Shades of Grey	46 Billion Shades of Debt
Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves	Grossmajibby and the Forty 1Mbodo Thieves
American Werewolf in London	Malaysian Werewolf in Jho Paris Hilton
Bonny & Clyde	Jibby & Grossmah
Born Free	Enslaved By Debt
Brewster’s Millions	Jibby’s $2.6 Billion
Get Carter	Get Grossmajibby
Godfather	The 1GDB Father
Gone With The Wind	Gone With The Arabs (1GDB’s $46 Billion)
Heat	Cheat
Hidden	Still Hidden
L.A. Confidential	KL OSA, SA & Sedition Act Confidential
Lawrence of Arabia	Jho Paris Hilton of Petro Saudi
Lost in Translation	Lost in Transit in Saudi Arabia
Mary Poppins	Merry 1GDB Debts A Eye Poppin
Maxed Out	Totally Bailed Out
Mr. Smith Goes To Washington	Mr. Grossmajibby Goes To Caymans
Natural Born Killers	Natural Born Ketuanan Con Artistes
Once Upon a Time in America	Recently in Bolihland
Other People’s Money	Oh Yeah Baby, Other People’s $46 Billion
Pirates of Silicon Valley	Pirates of Putridjaya
Rogue Trader	Our Hero Grossmajibby of 1GDB
Runaway Train	Runaway Debt
Saving Private Ryan	Saving Public Grossmajibby
Slumdog Millionaire	Harampig Putridjaya Billionaire
The Battle of The Five Armies	The Battle of The Five Task Farce Agencies
The Colour of Money	The Beautiful Colour of Debt
The Desolation of Smaug	The Desolation of  the AG’s – Auditor & Attorney General
The Fellowship of the Ring	The Fellowship of the Drowning Ringgit
The Last Time I Saw Paris	The Last Time I Saw Jho Paris Hilton
The Man of Steel	The Man of Steal
The Money Pit	The 1GDB $46 Billion Debt Pit
The Sting	The Stink - Grossmajibby’s Blue Ocean Investments
The Thief of Baghdad	The Thief of Putridjaya
The Two Towers	The Towering Glocal Fraudtrepreneurs
There Will Be Blood	There Will Be (Humongous) Debt
Trading Places	Trading Bank Accounts
When Harry Met Sally	When Jho Whale Met The Hippo, The Camel and Jibby
Wolf of Wall St.	The Whale of 1GDB St.

We also understand that bankrupt 1GDB had bravely secured the rights to many world-famous books and pop songs, at inflated costs, before it went bust. But that is all hunky dory, since acquisition, the value of these rights have appreciated  above their inflated purchase cost. So, as they are making paper profits, there is no need for the police or anti-corruption agency to investigate who illegally benefited from inflating the true acquisition cost by 100%. 

There is also no need to investigate the bank accounts of those who broke the laws of money-laundering, CBT, racketeering, fraud, breach of trust and anti-corruption. Although the inflated excess money, billions of dollars, was transferred to the personal bank accounts in Bolihland of the prime minister, his wife and appointed cronies and party members, there is no need to investigate and prosecute anyone, as no one made any personal gains from these moneys; not 1 cent. 

Oh, of course, they would not have won the previous general elections without this billions of dollars greasing the palms of everyone from here to Saudi Arabia, Outer Mongolia and Kazakhstan, but that cannot remotely be deemed as gaining personally, could it? Could it really? Hmmm!

In line with its Ketuanan philosophy and BTN indoctrination set-up, 1GDB has also duly Bolihlandized some book and music rights. We will reveal all soon!

Laughter, the best medicine against would be control-freaks, dictators, fascists and tyrants!

 Donplaypuks® with $2.6 billion and $46 billion Corporate Social (Irr)Responsibility programs, man!