The World Anthem





2.15 p.m.

Good afternoon, Mr. Chrysler Benz Chan Abdullah, I’m here about my accident claim, I spoke to you on the phone day before yesterday. Is the cheque ready, your policy says all claims will be paid within 48 hours.

Ah yes, normally.

What do you mean, normally? Your agent who also made me sign up for a Personal Accident (PA) Policy for me, my wife and 3 children in 2001, said there would be no problem on claims, to just call him if I ever had a problem.

Did you call him?

Yes, but he didn’t answer his handphone, so I had to get everything done myself, and here I am. So, where’s the cheque?

Wellllll, terms and conditions apply, you know. Didn’t you read the small print?

Well, I didn’t read all the 2,500 clauses, just a few, or else I would have gone blind with the print-size - you’d need an electron microscope, I think. Anyway, your agent said not to worry if I had a claim, there would be no problem.

Well, the Adjuster hasn’t agreed on the figure yet, and there is the question of the minimum. Also, you used a non-panel motor repairs workshop, so, heck, we have to ask our panel inspector to assess the quality of parts and repair work, if you want to renew the policy.

Forget about renewal. That can wait. It’s a simple claim, I was rear-ended, the other party has admitted liability and the police have given their report in favor of my claim. What’s there to dispute?

Weelll , I think you’d better speak to our Adjuster over a cup of teh tarik, then all the problems will be solved within 24 hours. There are Excess and Exclusion clauses, you know. Gee whiz, lots of little, little things that can trip you up. Caveat Emptor, Habeaus Corpus, Locus Standi, Locus Sitti, Locust Stingeye etc etc– nasty creatures you know these latin terms, bite your ass if you don’t watch.

Oh, I see, it’s that old ‘adjuster back-hander’ routine is it? Anyway, I know that one, Locust Stingeye, it’s in the Bible.

Good for you, but there’s also nisi decree, sub judice, loco parentis, Rylands-Fletcher etc etc

Whoa, good god, wait a minute, now you got me really worried. I missed out something important didn’t I? I should have listened to my wife – she’d asked me to consult a lawyer or insurance consultant when I took the policy, but I trusted my agent, seemed such a nice guy!!

Chryst, so, what should I do now, Benz Chan?

Well, I’ll have a tea-chat with the Adjuster, while you fill up these forms for $1 million each for Health & Hospitalization Policies. Can’t be too careful when you have dependents.

Bu, but……. wasn’t there a Central Bank warning to insurance companies about loading people with all kinds of policies, especially when the insured is making a claim?

Welllllllllll, theres’ Res Ipsa Loquitor, Corpus Delicti, Inflagrante Delicto, Doctorine of Privity of Contract, Carpe Diem, etc etc. you know. Geez, you don’t want to be caught flat-footed, do you?

Ok, ok, where do I sign, just make sure the goddam claim is paid tomorrow.

donplaypuks® with me man!!