The World Anthem




by g'die ramli burger and partners, llb, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for kangaroo courting affairs

The Auto Assembly Line: In Perak.
The Place: Under the shade of the Democracy Raintree in Ipoh.
The Man: Towering Glocal 2nd Hand Car Salesman, Latok Camry (PhD).
The Other Man Thursday 7th May & PR Speaker: Sani Gana.
The Judge: Left Honourable Ramli Burger, sole proprietor.
The Court: Ping Pong.
The Equipment: Cojones, the lack of.
The issue: Latok Camry’s elevation to the International Statesmen’s Hall of Fame.
The Reason: Kita Bolih! (We can)
The Time: Now !!

The ever urbane and elegant looking patrician Jawaharlal Nehru in white, white Jubba and Ghandhi cap strolled around the quadrangle with his frail looking paramour Lady Edwina Mountbatten in summer cotton frock and straw hat clinging to his arm like a scene out of some E.M. Forster novel.

In another corner, under the generous shade of the village Democracy Raintree stooped the still emaciated frail figure of Mohandas Karamchand Ghandhi, the Mahatma, bent over his trademark cotton spinning wheel or Chakra.

Elsewhere, seated on a $5 wooden stool was the 91 year old Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela in his customary two-piece blue suit, wearing the grin of a little innocent boy. Such was the shining openness in his visage you’d never suspect he’d spent 18 years in solitary confinement on Robben Island!

In another corner where the branches and leaves drooped almost to the ground, square-jawed John Fitzgerald Kennedy frolicked with copper-platinum haired Marilyn Monroe who had a plunging neckline so deep, Ghandhi’s bifocals had fogged over and iced up as though under attack by the rolling mists on a cold Himalayan night, and the already scanty dhoti now sucked up to his vitals like cling wrap on Carrefour frozen spare, lean chicken chops!

And how the little boys and girls and men and women oohed and aahed at the silken skills of Edison Arantes do Nascimento aka Pele as he magically kept three footballs in perpetual motion with head, hip, thigh, shoulder, ankle and foot!

The never-been-near-a-beach fish white, rotund Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill in white 3-piece suit was engaged in animated conversation with the black-suited Abraham Lincoln in black stovepipe hat near the now acid-melted and hammer- assaulted plaque. It was 90 in the shade and you could have fried an egg on the concrete slab of the side-walk; but Churchill perspired not a drop, so cucumber cool was he. And Lincoln still talked about an epochal ‘four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

The spirits and flesh of great statesmen and achievers past and present had gathered, drawn together by the immutable unwritten laws of the Universe!

“The validity of any proceedings in the Auto Assembly Line shall not be questioned in any Court. Couldn’t be clearer than that, could it Goosy?” posed Churchill to Ghandhi, as he chomped on his favourite Hitler brand Havana stogie.

“No, fat mama’s boy Billy Bunter, no. It’s crystal clear. Any twelve year old child could read and understand that. Even Jinnah! It’s all about public toilets and canines you know!” opined a smiling Ghandhi, once a practicing lawyer himself.

“But there’s no written judgement. So, how and what can they bleddy appeal against, eh, kaffir. Isn’t that somewhat scurrilous action by Left Honourable Auto Pilot Judges, CoA and Fed ‘Roos?” boomed Mandela, another who had once worn robes and wigs.

“Oh, and Latok Camry’s Man Thursday, pretender and usurper PR Speaker Sani Gana, summoned in I Polis Raja. Thank God they did not open fire like they did in Kent State in 1970! When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity,” a concerned JFK mused as his finger traced a sinuous arc on Marilyn’s spine.

“I warned Latok Camry long nights ago of a tryst with destiny!” volunteered Nehru as he gazed deeply into Edwina’s blue eyes.

“Let’s summarise his achievements shall we,” said a very business-like Lincoln:-

1. Arguably ‘in office’ for 3 months.
2. Created 2 MB’s Assembly Line.
3. Created 2 Speakers Assembly Line.
4. Created 2 Excos Assembly Line.
5. Major campaign – Camry car auction (none sold).
6. Tried to bar the Press from the Assembly Line.
7. Caused major disruption of the Auto Assembly Line process.
8. Thrown out of Assembly Line – once, in 3 months.

“That's all? Not exactly a World Cup Winning achievement, is it?” asked the Great Pele. “So, who will tell him the sad news? Ghandhi? Mandela?”

“Oh, we’ll leave it to Nizar, I think. Most appropriate wouldn’t you say? Poetic justice and all that? And remind Nizar to give that little speech about God, King, Country and all that would you please?’’ advised Mandela to Pele.

“Oh, and which Country would that be Nelson?” asked a smiling Pele.

“You know. Surely you know what I mean or do I have to spell it out for Latok
Camry? The Country without a tree?”

donplaypuks® with my assembly line-up, man!!
the kangaroo hop song with adam sandler


mat t said...

Is it possible since we are on the same side to publish the photografh of this one blogger parpu kari to show to the world the fact that he is a mamak.As i see it he protays himself as more malay than malay this parasitic mamak.
By and by wasn't this guy the fat mamak boy that took a photo with his idol tun mamak during bum.Thanking you if you could do it as don't have a blog.

Donplaypuks® said...

mat t

You'll find a pic of him at where some shots of BUM 20o9 have been posted.

He's the guy in pics no.3 & 5 with mouch and beard just behind the other plump guy in blue striped t-shirt, both of whom are Dr.m loyalists.

mat t said...

ok THANKS IT CONFIRMS WHAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THIS GUY IS A MAMAK and protrays himself to be melayu asli tq bro.

Unknown said...


Wow! This is a very well- written post. Deep and I cannot identify some of the characters and train of thought.

*sighs* Age is catching up on me...:(..

Still, I enjoyed reading it and am most appreciative of your satirical humor, creativity and effort.

Take care and have a good weekend.


Donplaypuks® said...


Just a clue. There is a certain embattled Chief Minister who was alleged to have recently compared himself with Ghandhi, Mandela and Pele (all time great Brazlian footballer of the '70s and who still sits on the board of FIFA) vis-a-vis his problems in Perak.

Donplaypuks® said...

mat t

there's no doubt he's a cheeky mamak, though in his blog he claimed he's 100% Malay. but he's quite young and mischievous!

Hamba said...

Thanks guys for pointing out what Parpukari looks like... My mental pics of him is dead on...Most UMNO mamak claim that they are 100% pure malays, unadulterated and untainted by foreign genes. But once you meet them or got hold of their pics, you either faint or ROTFL. Parpukari is malay?? Yeah right and I'm the direct decedent of Melaka Sultanate ooo...wait..didn't a mamak Tengku A claim that??? Oh my Gosh, I'm one confused malay!

Anonymous said...

haha "I`m one confused malay", but not to worry, this one`s hitting the fan aledi:

Tun Daim Zainuddin has personally told Dr Mahathir that Singapore possesses all the evidence that Najib, Razak Baginda and Altantuya met at the Oriental Hotel in Marina Square one year before she died.

This means, with the evidence that Singapore possesses, they would be able to blackmail Najib.

Surely Dr Mahathir would not want someone who can be blackmailed into doing Singapore’s bidding become the next prime minister knowing how he feels about Singapore and those perceived as under Singapore’s control?

mat t said...

Hamba i never once in my life had a problem with malay the true one's i mean,as for this fakes i belief they need to be be pointed out.Another thing we must thank people like dpp who show us this fakes.
Cheers guys.

Purple Haze said...

Once again, thanks for the humourous read. At one stage, I was wondering where Pele would be relevant ... but he was eventually !

Crankster said...

Actually, at this point, ping pong court sounds most apt. :)

Primrose said...

Thanks for "planting a seed" in my garden. And yes, you have virtually watered my garden. :)

Who might you be? Must give me a name, eh? I met many at BUM...

Donplaypuks® said...

Hi Primrose

I was the guy next to Desi handing out those t-shirts to the panelists at BUM 2009. Remember?

glassman said...

I'd like all to check this out:

MALAYSIA'S LEADING BLOG FOR SATIRE & MANGLISH. All characters in this blog are fictitious; any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
I find this part misleading or should I just exclaim, LIAR!!!?