AIRHEADLESS STEWARDESS - NO FOWL PLAY, I AM NOT DEAD! PARIAH RUMOUR MONGREL DOGS!

by william randolph's hearse, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for hacks and dead bodies affairs

For the first time since 1917, the USA Pulitzer Prize was awarded to a foreign journalist from Apanama News Agency Limited (ANAL) of Malaysia for introducing a new brand of blazing and illuminating realism and daring writing hithero unknown in the annals of global journalism, human history and endeavour.


Such was the resonating international reverberation from the achievment of ANAL's hithero unknown scribe Bawang Buntutsan Tak Selamat that De Facto President Rosemajib who wears the pants and her husband, a house thrained and accomplished economical liar, hastened to reward Bawang, with tears of gratitude spouting from her eyes, $500,000 cash and 10 acres of State land and lifetime membership to their personal Twit and blog sites, free of charge.


De Facto President Rosemajib who wears the pants and her husband, the house thrained and accomplished economical liar,had proudly Twited:


"This piece of searing and awe-inspiring journalism ranks alongside that of our Tigers whose overwhelming victory in  the FIFA World Cup Football 2010 Trophy Finals (well really, it was the underwhelming jaguh kampong Suzy Cup Football Competition for only a few South EAst Asian countries for the 1st time in donkey's ears, but a little exaggeration never hurt anyone) and who, besides also being rewarded with $500,000 cash and 10 acres of State land each, were also bestowed with, whoa generous or what, TWO lifetime FREE memberships to OUR personal Twit and blog sites!


This is what 1 Israe..er no, oops, I meant Malaysia, and Transformers...er no, oops I meant Transformation is all about. Now watch brain drain reverse. What will you get? Of course you will get esrever niard niarb! All for a PR spin outlay of only $100 million. See it's that easy. I give you $500,000 each, you vote for me. We have a deal or not? If you don't like it, you can emigrate to Tunisia."


The trail blazing Bawang was the first to report BREAKING NEWS that an Airheadless stewardess of Malaysian Chinese origins, Ms. Wong Noh Moh, had been found with her head separated from her body in the car park of a hotel in Holland. Double Dutch Netherlands police had apparently ruled out fowl play although there was overwhelming evidence Ms Noh Moh had earlier been battered to death and her body flung out the window of her fifth floor hotel room.


Speaking on conditions of anonymity from somewhere in Amsterdam, Ms Noh Moh had called up via her cellphone the heroic Bawang of ANAL to confess:


"Although my body has been sent to Malaysia for last rites and incineration, my head is still functioning here. It's in perfect working order. I am still alive and I can confirm thare's been no fowl play at all. It was all a misunderstanding. Please let our De Facto President Rosemajib who wears the pants and her husband, a house thrained and accomplished economical liar, know the thruth. I will reveal everything after the coroner's inquest and after the esteemed lawyer of 25 years standing for Cows and Cars Association of Malaysia demonstrates conclusively to the satisfaction of the whole world that I first ransacked my room, battered myself all over the body with a baseball bat, then strangled myself, jumped out my 5th floor hotel room window, hacked my head off and then disappeared.


Oh, before I switch off, can you also pass the message to our De Facto President Rosemajib who wears the pants and her husband, a house thrained and accomplished economical liar, that I too would like $500,000 cash, 10 acres of State land with, whoa generous or what, TWO lifetime FREE memberships to their personal Twit and blog sites? Kam Siah. I will be calling them personally from Disney Afterworld."


Elsewhere in 'Semua Bolih Selesai for $500,000 cash, 10 acres of State land with, whoa generous or what, TWO lifetime FREE memberships to the personal Twit and blog sites of De Facto President Rosemajib who wears the pants and her husband, a house thrained and accomplished economical liar, Land' Sir Wigs K9, de facto head honcho of the Parti RSPCA, threatened to pull his party out of the coalition government. In delivering his ultimatum to De Facto President Rosemajib who wears the pants and her husband, a house thrained and accomplished economical liar, K9 protested vehemently:


"How dare they refer to Pariah Mongrel Dogs as Pariah Mongrel Dogs? Can you call a donkey, a donkey, or a monkey, a monkey? Or a house thrained and accomplished economical liar, a house thrained and accomplished liar? Have they no respect for anything and anyone these days? Anything can be taught in the name of history and literature even if it's the thruth?


No, history is not about learning the thruth! See, the Japanese and Germans, supported by Maha Firaun, are now revealing the absolute thruth that World War 2 was not their fault at all; they were forced into defending themselves against a conspiracy hatched by Zionists, Americans, Britons and Tunisians.


I am going to see the Chief Justice to get an interlokutory injunction. Hopefully it will be granted by 2020 without having to plea bargain."


Upon hearing Wigs K9's publicly announced barking lamentations aired blaringly over state-of-the art Technic speakers during early morning prayer time near Kennel House, De Facto President Rosemajib who wears the pants and her husband, a house thrained and accomplished economical liar gave him a friendly warning:


"If you don't like it, Chennai awaits you with open arms! Or we can transfer you to the Johor Education Department. Would you like that? It can all be arranged for cash $500,000, 10 acres of State land with, whoa generous or what, TWO lifetime FREE memberships to the personal Twit and blog sites of De Facto President Rosemajib who wears the pants and her husband, a house thrained and accomplished economical liar. You want more.....perhaps a born again trophy virgin wife from West Asia or....a free trip to the UN General Assembly all expenses paid..."

donplaypuks® with our patience, man!