2ND NATIONAL FLAG? SOLUTION IN HAND!

by bs sekar, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for rubber, latex and french letters affairs

Incensed by the refusal of many to fly 1M (Not Israel) flags (or kites) outside their homes and on motorcar aerials during the last National Day celebrations, de facto leader of the House of Uncommons where some are seemingly not only more equal than others but apparently also own all the land as far the eye can see, President Rosemajib who wears the pants and her very cross dressing husband who wears the skirts, threw the problem to Roti Jala (author of 'National Laboratory Bankruptcy') and his $100 million laboratory assistants and (E)Con Transformers, Messers. APCOT Spindoctors, Moshe, Jho and Levy A Lot for Nought, for resolution.

After several months of in depth investigations and probings, penetrating fact-finding tours to nearby cities (Paris, London, New York, Tokyo, Rome, Munich, Geneva) and prolonged consultations in Bangkok and Lebanon, RJ revealed to a stunned secret gathering of Bumno and Perkosong acolytes that they had the solution in hand.

They had come to the conclusion (several times) that it would be in the best interest of nation building and national unity to adopt the humble CONDOM as a second national flag! 

Bumno and Perkosong, being inveterate veterans at this old game, found it easy to swallow RJ's (E)mission statement and Powerpoint presentation! Apcot knew all about pressing the right buttons and stroking the pouches of select members of Bumno and Perkosong!

They reasoned that in an era where Noble Prize winning Economists and Finance Gurus were unable to predict yesterday's date today and the direction the sun would rise in tomorrow, Roti Jala and Messers. APCOT Spindoctors, Moshe, Jho and Levy A Lot for Nought had concluded that the ordinary people could more easily identify with the humble condom as an economic and business facilitator if only symbolically (but actually more than that) since it could:

1. Inhibit inflation
2. Deflect deflation
3. Stop sudden surges
4. Arrest accidents and soak up spillages
5. Plug population explosion
   
6. Dampen industrious over production
7. Smoothen rough patches and landing points at our ports of entry
8. Facilitate and oil the wheels of industry and new business entry points
9. Nip in the bud overexuberance in an over-expanding and overheated environment
10. Enhances the marketability and shelflife of local douche bags
11. Make wild oats and seed sowing more of an agricultural than a social problem
12. Reward the long-stayers and punish (gently) and contain the premature eager beavers
13. Prevent systems viral and fungal infections
14. Be washed and reused at no cost in an emergency
15. Enable penetrating movements and observations to be made from the safety and privacy of home
16. Restrict construction and erections to what we can grasp as opposed to turning around to the old Middle East and Dubai ways
17. Promote better understanding between the sheets and sexes
18. Protect a bunch of civil serpents and government pricks
19. Not suffer flip flops
20. Promote international understanding, mutually beneficial relations, satisfaction and peace regardless of skin colour and without necessitating skin to skin contact

Accordingly, Messers. APCOT Spindoctors, Moshe, Jho and Levy A Lot for Nought were ready to roll out a 1M (Not Israel) awareness campaign for a mere $250 million Initial Development Cost (subject to VO's, Alibabaism and $888 billion leakages), the direct nego contract of which would be awarded to a local $2 company which had no previous experience in advertising or manufacturing latex products or prophylactics i.e. Messers. Contra Herpeseptic Spin Pte Ltd . 

Messers Contra Herpeseptic Spin would be mounting a nationwide fervent PATRIOTISM campaign over the bed posts and matresses of all households as it were.

donplaypuks® is proud to be the first to reveal some of the proposed posters and slides prepared by Messers Contra Herpeseptic Spin for full page ads in the Buntutsan Parsley Sage Rosemary Thighimes Daily and Washington Post. Here goes!

(Click on pics for enlarged view).

Breaking News is that Messers. APCOT Spindoctors, Moshe, Jho and Levy A Lot for Nought have embarked on a new project  for a 2nd National Anthem with lyrics set to the theme song of 'SHAFT!' - WHO DA BLESSED PRIVATE DICK, MAN?

donplaypuks® and shaft around with our economy and people and make a gooey mess of it all, man!