OLD WHINE IN NEW BOTTLE AGAIN? NOT IN THREES DAMMIT!

by don perignon, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for oenophile, paedophile and videodefiled affairs

With summer approaching and rapturous (nu)clear skies in the offing (from the land of the setting sun), we are simply thrilled and overjoyed to preview this year's contentious collection of old whines in new bottle, all DNA (Datuk Najis Altantuya) C4 tested as the nation gathers for an unparalleled tasting and gorging frenzy in a spring and summer of probable massive discontent.

(Click on pic for enlarged view)

SEX WINE AND CHOCOLATE TRIO WHINE 2011

If Chateau Mouton Rothschild is the Alpha of the finest wines, then this improbable but exquisite Sex Wine And Chocolate Trio Whine motley collection must surely be the Omega of it all. 

 Prepared, and the full process has been captured and documented in B&W CCTV video for the love of the cuntry, it is a carefully blended and concocted mixture of Texan Dallas Midnight Cowboys physiotherapy oils refined in the fabled horse stables of Langkawi Island, statutory 15-year old extra virgin olive oil and kumquats ripened in Melaka AND 30% (but 67% would be nicer even if it over-sweetens the product) Native Rights Treasury Whine.

A favorite among politicians on either side of the divide, it's mischievous secret lies in the 17 minutes editing (oops) oh, so careful synthesizing process, possibly extended to 22 minutes, for best results. Private tasting sessions can be arranged for 20 million crooked bridge dollars, especially for super patriots, on special request in any local hotel or Bangkok brothel, served one shot or two or both by social pass holding China Dolls of Pan Asian looks OR in a small hut in a village in Melaka and even in a horse stable in Langkawi. 

As yet an unproven world beater, yet certified brilliantly authentic with indecent haste by I Raja Polis Tak Minum, the uniqueness and enigma of this wicked and wanton whine lies in that this brainchild decocktion conspiratorial masterpiece, unlike other whines, will have to prove its innocence first against accusations of fakery, even as vociferous demands are being made by pro-BUMNO bloggers for authentication by a Royal Commission of Inquiry (RCI) that C4 murder and $ billion (in some instances $12 billion) corruption cases are lesser crimes than peccadillo whine!

INTERKOQ 1971 HOUSE OF BTN WHINE

Forcefully distilled from musty and dusty sour bankrupt and forgotten grapes buried for 40 years in the super dry black burnt out and scorched earthy soil at the senile Halls of Academia McNuts, nurtured and immatured by obscure poet laureates whose equally obscure pedantic works few had heard of before, this old whine in new bottle has surfaced in a chained set of yet again three bottles under the brainwashing, brain numbing and brain sapping Government sponsored House of BTN label, in boring brown, yeasty yellow and belching black which contradiction is evident from the pictures.

Acrid and incendiary by nature, it explodes on papillae and palate as many gather for riotous conspicuous consumption. It is ideal for after literature lectures and discourse seminars where instead of the usual  boring 'TALK KOK' with cheese and crackers small talk parties, everyone can stay at home now and  TALK INTERKOQ!

*1   $38 million a set for F5 SPM students. Contact miseduminmopeydopeydin@gov.con. or brainwash@rosemajib.perkosong.gov.con.btn

*2   Special 7% discount for "qualified pariahs" and "chinaman" selling daughters into slavery and prostitution

1 B&B BS WHINE 

A wine strictly forbidden by the official religion of the secular federation despite the fact that alcohol has never caused a war or that you have to wait 2,000 years for a second wine. Nevertheless this vile bile is sold in copious quantities to no one who really seriously consumes them though marketed feverishly by apanama selectively forgetful old senile codgers and born again chauvinist frogs who have come to their sell by date and have nowhere else to go.

Concocted from decaying dry shrivelled up raisins farmed by 3 million illegal immigrants paid less than US$1 a day at the $65 million renovated palatial prime ministerial vineyards of the Rosemajibs on the 4th and 5th floors of Carelesssexvideocosa and Putranjaya, this delectable whine has proven to be a world class success if Key Performance Indices (KPI) are to be believed in surecandoland where internationally accepted benchmarks are always achieved 103% by frequently adjusting (i.e. lowering) targets. By any reckoning then, this whine is a global resounding suckcess even as the treasury goes broke!

 As you swirl this rancid red swill round your tongue, your senses will be viciously coshed, assaulted and assailed 'in the blink of an eye' by the superb spindoctoring extra dry bouquets of Messers $100 million 1apco and $8.2 million 1mckinsey as briefed by decepticons from the Roti Jala School of $3 Trillion Transformers who all graduated summa cum laude from the Bernie Madhoff School of Honest Ponzi Schemers.

DO DRINK AS MUCH AS YOU CAN EVEN AS WE GO BROKE. WOULD YOU RATHER CRY OVER SPILT MILK? Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we go on enforced diet as ron97 petrol goes up by 20 cents to $2.70 which the sleeping pm enforced two years ago and was condemned then by the same Buntutsan & UMNO/BN as an evil decree by satan! Now, they are so quiet??!!

donplaypuks® and whine, man!

ps

here are some  quotable quotes on alcohol consumption:

What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine."

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." - Henny Youngman

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin.

"Drink and Drive. We need the business." - Tow Truck Sign. "The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far, but we will walk carefully." - Russian Proverb. "You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." - Frank Zappa. "'T’was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it." W.C. Fields. "And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning." - Winston Churchill, replying to Bessie Braddock who told him he was drunk