by michelin alain ducasse krugman bernanke, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for economy and cooking up affairs
The most popular TV programs today are either the puke inducing fake reality, or celebrity chef cookery, shows. 1 Malaysian Bolih (can do), not to be outdone, has come up with something even better - celebrity politicians' and GLC (government losing concern) boss's favourite dish recipes.
Here are 6 of the best mouth-drying and heart-stopping recipes.
The most popular TV programs today are either the puke inducing fake reality, or celebrity chef cookery, shows. 1 Malaysian Bolih (can do), not to be outdone, has come up with something even better - celebrity politicians' and GLC (government losing concern) boss's favourite dish recipes.
Here are 6 of the best mouth-drying and heart-stopping recipes.
1. $30 BILLION INSTANT BEEP ECONOMY
SIZE BEEF PIE®1969 by GROSSEMAJIB TUN RAZAK
(Serves 67%
portions only)
Ingredients:
1 national kitchen
Ingredients:
1 national kitchen
1 national
pie dish
1 national $30 Billion Instant Beep Economy Size Beef Pie Mix®1969
1 national oven
1 national rubbish bin
Bumi, Chinese, Indians and Others chefs
Preparation Instruction:
1 national $30 Billion Instant Beep Economy Size Beef Pie Mix®1969
1 national oven
1 national rubbish bin
Bumi, Chinese, Indians and Others chefs
Preparation Instruction:
First make
claim you have a God given right to 67% of all Instant Beep Economy
Size Beef Pie®1969
Next scrap sticky $200 million burnt 1Malaysia APCO (Israel) and Endless Possibilities pies from bottom of national pie dish and throw in national rubbish bin
Steal 30% Instant Beep Economy Beef Pie Mix®1969
Steal another 20% Instant Beep Economy Beef Pie Mix® 1969
Publicly lie that you now have only 23% Instant Beep Economy Beef Pie Mix®1969
Steal another 17% Instant Beep Economy Beef Pie Mix®1969
Put pie mix in national pie dish, cover and bake in national oven at 500F degrees
Burn pie
Close kitchen quietly and write-off $30 billion
Blame Chinese, Indian and Others chefs
Challenge Chinese, Indian and Others chefs to return by boat to China, India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Kerala and Nigeria
Send out 1 SOS, telephone 1 IMF and 1World Bank!!
Apply for membership to League of 3rd World Nations.
2. WHOLE BABE LAMB MONGOLIAN by GROSSMAJIB TUN RAZAK
(Serves 3 judges in Court of Appeal)
Ingredients:
1 blackmailing female Mongolian whole babe lamb (import permit must be erased)
1 thothally innocent male Oxford Don worth $540 million
1 thothally innocent prime minister
1 thothally innocent prime minister’s wife and 2 $200K Birkin Babe Lamb Handbags
1 PM aide, M.Safri
1 weak-heart PI
1 Deepak babe lamb and 1 stalk Black Rose
2 thothally innocent male and 1 thothally innocent female special action unit babe lamb cops
1 cup c4 explosives and fuse
2 sniffer dogs
Preparation Instruction:
Mix ingredients thoroughly in tropical jungle night setting
Light fuse
Run for cover
Marshall sniffer dogs and collect cooked pieces in poly bags
Serve with hood over head
3. DEVILLED-YOU-KNOW DILEMMA CURRY CHICKEN KERALA by MAHATHIR KOYA KUTTY
(Serves everyone right for voting for him)
Ingredients:
67% West Malaysia crony bumnoputra chicken
11% Sabah Filipino adobo
9% Sarawak pepper
25% Chinesesyaitan santan
8% Indian curry spices
1% Indian Muslim kayu fish head
2% Other turbaned dhal and sri lankan kottais
6% Bangladeshi, Indon and Pak oil & basmati rice
1% Communist potatoes
1% Zionist kosher beef and extra-sour acerbic lime juice
0.05% Nigerian ponzi and scam yam
Preparation Instruction:
I am never sorry, apanama, I forget. I also can’t add. Ask my son Mukh who has no ambitions, not one iota, of becoming the next Devilled-you-know Chicken Prime Minister, with my non-interfering help, of course.
4. SHIRLEY SHRINE NOT TEMPLE COCKTAIL by SHEIKH BUTT NOT STIR DUNGGU ADNAN
(Serves all idol worshipping Malaysian Hindus)
Ingredients:
1 101-year old Hindu shrine but not temple – good! Two? Even better!!
1 Hindu shrine but not temple priest
200 Hindu shrine but not temple committee members
1,000 Hindu shrine but not temple devotees
2 large caterpillar bulldozers
666 electric jackhammer pneumatic drills and hammers
30 City Hall sub-contract EO released and poor, jobless Geng 30 members
1 missing City Hall Mayor
1 missing FT Minister
1 tall, chilling cocktail glass
12 parangs
1 God
Preparation Instruction:
Loosen 30 City Hall sub-contract EO released and jobless Geng 30 members to hold back priest,
committee members and devotees of Hindu shrine but not temple
Bulldoze Hindu shrine but not temple
Jackhammer Hindu shrine but not temple to bits and pieces
Smash all Hindu shrine but not temple idols with 666 hammers
Grind bulldozed Hindu shrine but not temple and idols to dust
Place Hindu shrine but not temple dust in tall chilling cocktail glass and seal. Throw glass into waters of the Straits of Melaka, in the direction of Tamil Nadu
Place parangs in boot of Hindu shrine but not temple priest’s and committee members’ cars
Arrest Hindu shrine but not temple priest and committee members
Praise God for religious tolerance and understanding
Next scrap sticky $200 million burnt 1Malaysia APCO (Israel) and Endless Possibilities pies from bottom of national pie dish and throw in national rubbish bin
Steal 30% Instant Beep Economy Beef Pie Mix®1969
Steal another 20% Instant Beep Economy Beef Pie Mix® 1969
Publicly lie that you now have only 23% Instant Beep Economy Beef Pie Mix®1969
Steal another 17% Instant Beep Economy Beef Pie Mix®1969
Put pie mix in national pie dish, cover and bake in national oven at 500F degrees
Burn pie
Close kitchen quietly and write-off $30 billion
Blame Chinese, Indian and Others chefs
Challenge Chinese, Indian and Others chefs to return by boat to China, India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Kerala and Nigeria
Send out 1 SOS, telephone 1 IMF and 1World Bank!!
Apply for membership to League of 3rd World Nations.
2. WHOLE BABE LAMB MONGOLIAN by GROSSMAJIB TUN RAZAK
(Serves 3 judges in Court of Appeal)
Ingredients:
1 blackmailing female Mongolian whole babe lamb (import permit must be erased)
1 thothally innocent male Oxford Don worth $540 million
1 thothally innocent prime minister
1 thothally innocent prime minister’s wife and 2 $200K Birkin Babe Lamb Handbags
1 PM aide, M.Safri
1 weak-heart PI
1 Deepak babe lamb and 1 stalk Black Rose
2 thothally innocent male and 1 thothally innocent female special action unit babe lamb cops
1 cup c4 explosives and fuse
2 sniffer dogs
Preparation Instruction:
Mix ingredients thoroughly in tropical jungle night setting
Light fuse
Run for cover
Marshall sniffer dogs and collect cooked pieces in poly bags
Serve with hood over head
3. DEVILLED-YOU-KNOW DILEMMA CURRY CHICKEN KERALA by MAHATHIR KOYA KUTTY
(Serves everyone right for voting for him)
Ingredients:
67% West Malaysia crony bumnoputra chicken
11% Sabah Filipino adobo
9% Sarawak pepper
25% Chinese
8% Indian curry spices
1% Indian Muslim kayu fish head
2% Other turbaned dhal and sri lankan kottais
6% Bangladeshi, Indon and Pak oil & basmati rice
1% Communist potatoes
1% Zionist kosher beef and extra-sour acerbic lime juice
0.05% Nigerian ponzi and scam yam
Preparation Instruction:
I am never sorry, apanama, I forget. I also can’t add. Ask my son Mukh who has no ambitions, not one iota, of becoming the next Devilled-you-know Chicken Prime Minister, with my non-interfering help, of course.
4. SHIRLEY SHRINE NOT TEMPLE COCKTAIL by SHEIKH BUTT NOT STIR DUNGGU ADNAN
(Serves all idol worshipping Malaysian Hindus)
Ingredients:
1 101-year old Hindu shrine but not temple – good! Two? Even better!!
1 Hindu shrine but not temple priest
200 Hindu shrine but not temple committee members
1,000 Hindu shrine but not temple devotees
2 large caterpillar bulldozers
666 electric jackhammer pneumatic drills and hammers
30 City Hall sub-contract EO released and poor, jobless Geng 30 members
1 missing City Hall Mayor
1 missing FT Minister
1 tall, chilling cocktail glass
12 parangs
1 God
Preparation Instruction:
Loosen 30 City Hall sub-contract EO released and jobless Geng 30 members to hold back priest,
committee members and devotees of Hindu shrine but not temple
Bulldoze Hindu shrine but not temple
Jackhammer Hindu shrine but not temple to bits and pieces
Smash all Hindu shrine but not temple idols with 666 hammers
Grind bulldozed Hindu shrine but not temple and idols to dust
Place Hindu shrine but not temple dust in tall chilling cocktail glass and seal. Throw glass into waters of the Straits of Melaka, in the direction of Tamil Nadu
Place parangs in boot of Hindu shrine but not temple priest’s and committee members’ cars
Arrest Hindu shrine but not temple priest and committee members
Praise God for religious tolerance and understanding
5. CONDOCOWS NS KOBE BEEF BUGGER by SCHEHERAZADE, SALLEH & CO
(Serves crony family of 5 only)
Ingredients:
(Serves crony family of 5 only)
Ingredients:
1 $250
million no-strings attached NS Kobe Beef Bugger 1fraudtrepreneur government grant
1 large bottle of beer
1 PhD husband
1 PhD husband’s Minister wife
1 Rakyat
1 tube KY Jelly
1 barbeque pit
Preparation Instruction:
Let 1 PhD husband collect $250 million no-strings attached 1fraudtrepreneur government grant
Buy high-end condos in Bangsar and Singapore for $50 million
Transfer balance money to Kazakhstan and Zurich
Open beer bottle and pour out beer
Take empty beer bottle and smash head of 1 Rakyat
Apply KY Jelly appropriately
Bugger 1 Rakyat in barbeque pit
Let 1 PhD husband’s Minister wife and family deny they knew anything about it
Write-off $250 million
Serve with self-interest and alfalfa grass salad
6. DRY DOCKS TUNA SANDWICH by NOR MOHD ROBOKOP, DANNY AND BINAFAKIR CON-SULTANS
(Serves all at National Treasure Corp)
Ingredients:
1 large bottle of beer
1 PhD husband
1 PhD husband’s Minister wife
1 Rakyat
1 tube KY Jelly
1 barbeque pit
Preparation Instruction:
Let 1 PhD husband collect $250 million no-strings attached 1fraudtrepreneur government grant
Buy high-end condos in Bangsar and Singapore for $50 million
Transfer balance money to Kazakhstan and Zurich
Open beer bottle and pour out beer
Take empty beer bottle and smash head of 1 Rakyat
Apply KY Jelly appropriately
Bugger 1 Rakyat in barbeque pit
Let 1 PhD husband’s Minister wife and family deny they knew anything about it
Write-off $250 million
Serve with self-interest and alfalfa grass salad
6. DRY DOCKS TUNA SANDWICH by NOR MOHD ROBOKOP, DANNY AND BINAFAKIR CON-SULTANS
(Serves all at National Treasure Corp)
Ingredients:
1 $120 million tuna factory and farming budget
1 $2 million 2nd hand tuna fishing boat
$20 million air tickets and travel budget
1 Subway franchise restaurant
Preparation Instruction:
1 $2 million 2nd hand tuna fishing boat
$20 million air tickets and travel budget
1 Subway franchise restaurant
Preparation Instruction:
Visit Dubai, Cairo and Lebanon on visit-cum-study and research on belly dancing, several times, not Japan or Taiwan for tuna fish farming fact-finding. Spend $20 million
Buy rusty $2 million 2nd hand tuna fishing boat for $6 million and dock in Langkawi
Pay 30% commission to the Binafakir Con-sultans
Buy ten brand new Merc Benz cars for $10 million
Pay 30% commission to the Binafakir Con-sultans
Buy tuna fish warehouse and processing plant for $50 million
Pay 10% "commission" to the Binafakir Con-sultans
Import tuna and roe
Forget to install refrigeration plant
Pay 10% "commission" to the Binafakir Con-sultans
Let tuna and roe rot
Pay 10% "commission" to the Binafakir Con-sultans
Drive Merc Benz to Subway franchise restaurant
Buy tuna fish sandwich for $12
Pay 10% "commission" to the Binafakir Con-sultans
Eat
Burp
Sell $120 million wind catching tuna farm set-up and 10 Merc Benz cars to crony for $1
Pay 10% "commission" to the Binafakir Con-sultans
Burp
Serve with codswallop!
Donplaypuks® and burn our economy recipes, man!
1 comment:
Why 666 electric jackhammer pneumatic drills and hammers is use? Are you provoking the satan?
rajraman666. The actual Satan UMNO.
Happy Deepavali Donplakpuks.
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