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13/09/2013

NEW AMBASSADORSHIPS FOR OLD? BUY ORDER OF PM GROSSEMAJIB!

by Ban Ki Moo, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for cow ambassadorship affairs


Following the national massive BUY ELECTIONS, Prime Minister Grossemajib  and her husband Grossmah who wears the skirts, have embarked on a bold and highly original and innovative initiative to make the nation's presence felt worldwide, and to protect its sovereign diplomatic rights internationally.

This follows hot on the heels of their earlier bold and highly original and innovative, but, dismal initiative failures, in spending on PR campaign after campaign without any positive results. $100 million on 1 APCO (Israel), $55 million 1 anti-Sarawak Report fiasco (CLICK HERE) and $30 million 1Mongolia Endless Possibilities (of repeated corruption and failures, of Endless Possibilities of Endless Failures, cancelled before it started), were all dismissed by Prime Minister Grossemajib and her husband Grossmah who wears the skirts, as "a mere drop in the (taxpayers') ocean." 

Prime Minister Grossemajib  and her husband Grossmah who wears the skirts, were undeterred and undaunted by their 100% failure rate. "We unreservedly beliefs in 1Malaysia Bolih (Can Go Bankrupt). We can do 1More. Thrust us," they bleated, true to the nature of sheep shearers fleecing wool from innocent and helpless lamb, and starved leeches promising on their mothers' graves to exercise sucking restraint on naked legs crossing the Pahang River.

Borrowing a leaf from ex-acerbic (now chemically, in solidarity with Syria, acidic, sarinic and vinegarish) PM Mahathir, more popularly known as Maha Firaun (Great Pharoah), PM Grossemajib and her husband Grossmah who wears the skirts, decided on a wee bit of paradigm shafting.

Ditching the time honoured, ridiculous and mindless 'follow the herd' principle of appointing experienced government-employed career diplomats to head embassies, PM Grossemajib and her husband Grossmah who wears the skirts decided to outsource the appointment of ambassadors to a $2 paid-up private limited company. This, as explained by (New Economic) Transformation Driver Head at the PMO, Roti Jala, was wholly in keeping with the spirit of the BUMNO/SCUMNO government's 44-year old policy of creating risk free Ali Baba instant millionaire and billionaire entrepreneurs, as an inspiration to the starving masses.

This company, 1Buy1Ambassador S/B (BUY1, FREE1 promo currently underway till end 2018, terms & conditions apply), appointed by open tender but direct negotiation, has been given a 10-year tax free Pioneer Status, with an interest free government grant/budget of $10 billion per year, which can be increased by 30% every three years, on demand (by 1Buy1Ambassador S/B). There is no rumour to the truth that Tan Sri Grossmajibby, 99.99% shareholder and MD of 1Buy1Ambassador S/B is either kin or kith or a crony of Prime Minister Grossemajib  and her husband Grossmah who wears the skirts, or of BUMNO/SCUMNO.

We understand 1Buy1Ambassador S/B operates in thothal secrecy, and its records and files are classified under the draconian OSIBISA (Offical Secrets, Intelligence, Banking and Internal Security Act). But Donplaypuks®, through its covert network of brothers and sisters in Wikileaks, and direct line to Edward Snowden and Russian Premier Putout in Moscow, managed to get hold of the, as yet, publicly undisclosed and unannounced list of thothally new ambassadors to be appointed by PM Grossemajib and her husband Grossmah who wears the skirts. 

Read and gape in astoundment and astonishing wonder! How original and inventive the Grossemajib's are!  

Remember, you read it here first!

1.  Ambassador to Kerala, Apple, GE and Warren Buffet's Berkshire Hathway Inc - Author of "Level Playing Field Dilemma? Innovate with Quotas Forever and No Meritocracy At All" Mahathir Koya Kutty aka Maha Firaun (Great Pharoah).
2. Ambassador to the Vatican - "Freedom of Speech and Religion - Storm the Bar Council Open Forum' Zolkples Nordin, LBW (leg before wicked).
3.  Ambassador to Mongolia - Razak Aminah Scorepenis Baginda from Oxford.
4. Ambassador to the Pampas of Argentina - Gaucho Gauche Sharizat Zain from Bangsar Cow Condo.
5.  Ambassador to KKK HQ, Atlanta, Georgia, USA - I.Ali aka I.Katak.
6.  Ambassador to Israel - Author of Kg. Racisma best seller 'Your DNA Can Be Changed Anytime By Converting' Ridpest Tee.
7. Ambassador for Creative Licence to Hollywood, Bollywood and Tonkywood Tandas Puteris - S. Sigh Baba. (apparently she initially declined because she was not too familiar with passing motion pictures).
8. Ambassador to Homeland Security and CIA, USA - Geng 50 'I Polis Raja' Boss and ex-I Raja Polis, Big Moose 'I Always Tell The Truth' Hasan.
9. Ambassador to IMF, World Economic Forum and Exxon Corp - Ulama F. Bari, author of  international best seller 'God determines fuel and nasi lemak price hikes.'
10.  Ambassador to Toledo, Spain, and Sheffield, world famous deep throat sword-swallowing technique centres - Kerismudin Hishamuddin.
11. Ambassador to Birkin Bags, Hermès, Paris, France - PM Grossemajib and her husband Grossmah who wears the skirts.
12. Ambassador to Transparency International, Berlin, Germany - 'You don't have a river for my cost over-inflated $ billion bridge? No problem, we'll build the river! 'Wigs' Sam Velu.
13. Ambassador to South India Small Shrines & Big Temples Council  - Ustaz Dunggu Adnan.
14. Ambassador to Iran, Iraq, Syria, Saudi, India, Egypt, Turkey, Lybia, Morocco, Pakistan and all other Stans - blogger "Inside the Indian-Muslim Box but pretending to be Bumiputra.'
15. Ambassador to the United Nations - 'We are all of 1 Race, My Race' DPM MopeyDopeyGrumpy Din

Have I left out any? Are Malaysian ambassadorships up for sale? Nah.... couldn't be, could it?

Donplaypuks® with ambassadors and ambassadorships, man!

7 comments:

Purple Haze said...

Aisayman,

I think Ridpest Tee might have a better posting to China as it would be a lawat sambil belajar tour of duty for him.

Anonymous said...

S. Sigh Baba - LOL!

Keat Lee said...

Donplaypuks, you forgot to add another Malaysian luminary who should be appointed as an ambassador, that old senile Dunggu Aziz!

Chua Boon Heng said...

Do you mean bamboo canon "nazeri"

Keat Lee said...

Chua Boon Heng , No the former DAP senator!

jjimmychan4622 said...

Embarassmentship appointments are the latest practice to showcase to the world our infamous characters

Ashraf Ali said...

It is good of Donplaypuks to provide us with COMIC RELIEF during times of gloom !

Had a good laugh over the ambassadorial appointments. And Hisap-mu-din's appointed as sword-swallowing ambassdor steals the show. Wish you could contribute regularly to MC. Thank you, anyway!