USA ENGLISH FOR MALAYSIA? MUHY PAID $20 MILLION FOR AMERICANS TO ADVICE ON MALAYSIA EJJUCASYEN POLICY!!???

by one step forward two steps back , Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for Ms Education affairs

This is a re-post of a September 2013 article in reaction to Malaysian Deputy Prime Minister and Education Minister Muhyddin who decided to abandon the teaching of Science and Maths in English in the face of incensed opposition, including that from many Malays. The MoE paid a Boston USA consulting firm, some $20 million to advise it on an education blueprint for Malaysia. Incredible!

1Minister for Malay MsEducation, MopeyDopeyDin, has just completed his “I had a nightmare” speech on '1**!!## Master Blueprint for Education.' The blueprint was devised by non-inclusive, non-consultative and non-education experts and USA Con-sultans 1McKhinzir Boston Ethos Ong Sucks. Mopeydopeydin proudly announced to a stunned audience of tens of BUMNO supporters that the con-sultan’s promotional cheap sale buy 1 free 1 $20 million fee, (terma terms dan & condisyen conditions berapplikasi apply) was a “stupendously low” price to pay for a non-expert appraisal and exercise resulting in a con-clusive policy of the 1M government of thieves.

Here is the uncensored media release from 1McKhinzir Boston Ethos Ong Sucks Con-sultans, US of A, to 1(failing/failed)Malaysia: 

My fellow Americahns. Ten Hut! What’s up folks? Listen up y’all, we wish to touch base with all Mal Asians. We hail from Boston, good ‘ol US of A, not the boondocks of Asia or the land just North of Singapore. We know times are hard. Gas prices are up. Jeeze, yore automobile (what you call corr) prices stink to high heaven. The average Ahmad, Ah Chong and Muthu Joe cannot afford even a plate of nasi lemak or a cup of teh tarik hot dog halal kosher long sausage thingy, hamburger and french liberty fries, coke, mom’s apple pie and a cuppa java at Starbucks. You are caught between a rock and a hard place. We know that the two-bit slime balls and jerks are in control. They keep throwing curve balls at you. We know. We have visited with them. Look man, it’s like having a whole bunch of monkeys up yore butt. You must tell them, 'Take a banana, peanut hike, buddy!'

It’s a Catch22 situation. Do you fight back or not? Remember George Washington, Valley Forge, Lincoln, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Nixon, Reagan, Bush and especially a mouthful from William Jefferson Blythe III (Bill) Clinton? When the chips are down, the cookie crumbling and Monica kneeling? Remember what they said? We don’t neither. But how do we bring home the bacon or bak kut halal kosher chicku teh, chicken and beef ham and sausage, that’s the key question. 

This heah WILL be your new ejjucation policy from here on, 24/7, helmed by us. You have tried with all kinds of experimentation and failed, and goofed miserably at that. In fact it sucks, and sucks big time! Goddammit, failure is no longer an option. We have zero tolerance for losers. You want to be surging up smoothly on the elevator of progressive success, not come crashing down miserably on the lif lift of continuous failure. Otherwise, you will go the way of Eyeran and Eyerak and end up a disaster of biblical proportions. It would be like being up the shit creek without a paddle, with only your doohickey in your hands.  I kid you not.

The practicality of yore previous ejjucasyen policy was always highly questionable, if not actually commie or Taliban, based at it was on non-meritocracy, unlike our system which is based on who you know and how much big bucks/dough/moola/cabbage/ you have ours. Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? We know you have been burglarized for 44 years by the raccoons, hogs, bob cats, gofers and poontangs from yore own government of thieves. Now it’s time to roll up yore sleeves and buck up already. It's time to kick ass!

Dude, pay attention! You can make a mistake once, but you can can’t fool all the people all the time. Oftentimes, even when you know you have made a major balls up, you may not want to admit it and make the necessary changes for the better. But you must or you will self-nuke. Don’t be a jerk. Do not be dumb. Son of a gun, we must agent orange-bomb and nuke out the commies and Taliban (and the Eyerakians, Eyeranians, Eyerabs, Syrians, Libyans, Moroccans, Algerians, Yemenis, Taliban and their like) in your boondocks country. Unless they agree to Russian Commie and UN education inspectors, we must bazooka napalm bomb ICBM serial bomb exsanguinate without prejudice the traitors or they will continue to cause a ruckus. Got it, chief?

Now hold yore horses. Why do y’all think most Nobel Prize winners are Americans? Awesome, isn't it? The fact that most of them are German Jews People of The Kosher Book, is just a coincidence, and irrelevant. Being second counts for diddly squat. You need a game changer, pronto; a pass mark of 14 for Maths just won't wear; it's gottta be at least 50 17.

Let’s cut to the chase. Lookee here pal, from today all Mal Asians will, 9/11 24/7, ditch the old habit of teaching Bahasa Malaysia in English (or Chinese commie or Tamil backward languages), or English in Bahasa Malaysia, and spelling or pronouncing words with silent letthers. You must monetize alphabetize your language and system correctly as in Uncle Sam’s way, or it’s the highway! 

There is honor in this new system. Remember you say thomatho, some say tomartoe, but we will all now say tomaytoe. You say pothaytho, some say potartoe, we will all now say potaytoe. Some say lieutenant, other say lefthenan, we will all now say lootenan. You must know yore onions. What’s not to like? Organize yoreselves. Which part of ‘organize’ do you not understand? Got it, dude? Forget learning the Chinese commie or Tamil backward languages. They will colonize you. You are either with us, or against us. 

Next, you may not borrow steal English American words like vision, mission, motivation, fashion, fission, fusion, position, passion and pussy and shamelessly pass convert them off to visi, misi, motivasi, fesyen, fissi, fusi, posisi, passi and pussi. Or, logic, music, toxic and tragic into logik, musik, toksik and tragis. Jakim Jack,  Jais just accept it withour rancor, or holy moley, there will be Jihad war! This, under American, International, UN America's God's Law, is apostasy; once you adopt English American words and spelling, you may NOT convert them back, EVER! 

You shall immediately incorporate, among others to follow soon, these English American words into your national vocabulary:

Antenna, not aerial
Apartment, not flat or pangsapuri 
Attorney, not lawyer, solicitor or loyar or peguam 
Automobile, not motorcar or kereta or motorkar
Buddy or pal, not friend or kawan or member or ‘ber 
Cab, not taxi or teksi
Cable guy, not TV Repair Man
Cell phone, not handphone or bimbit
Cent, not sen 
Check, not bill or bil
CIA, not Special Branch
Coach not bus or bas
Congress, not Parliament or Parlimen 
Dollar, not Ringgit
Drugstore, not chemist or farmasi 
Elevator, not lift
Fanny, not vagi** or pa*t*t in BM
Faucet, not tap or paip 
Fender, not bumper or bamper or bam or bum
Flop, not FLOM
French Liberty Fries, not pothatho fries or ubi kentang 
Garbage, pronounced 'gorbage' as in 'mortgage', not rubbish or politician/politikus or sampah
Gas, not petrol or minyak 
Kosher, not halal
Parking Lot, not Car park or Lot Parkir 
Senate, not Dewan Negara
Soccer, not football or bola sepak 
Stocks, not shares or saham 
Truck, not lorry, lori or trak
Tush, ass or butt, not buttocks, backside or buntut (hence the Buntutsan newspaper will be re-named Tushutsan or Assutsan). So it's kiss ass or butt, not backside or cium buntut! Oxtail Soup, not Sup Buntut Lembu
Umpire or Ump, not referee or lefree or pengadil
Washroom, not toilet or jamban or Tandas Puteri
Yo mama, not Rosmahjib 
Zee, not z 

World Series Soccer, not Piala FAM and more. 

Now, you can’t have your hot dog halal kosher sausage thingy or hot bowl of chili and eat it too, can you? Worse, clam chowder! It’s the economy, stupid! Don’t dream of pie in the sky. Look at us, the good ‘ol US of A. Chill (and weep) bro. Unemployment at 8%. National Debt at 101% of GDP, i.e. $120 Trillion. GDP growth rate at negative 1% 2.30%. Do the math. By following our con-sultan's advice, everyone, lordidoo, everyone, will now have an equal opportunity to be poor, except for some color challenged Nig..r no, Negro, no, Afro-American, Black folks up in Alabamy, Detroit, Atlanta and Georgiah, Red Indians, no, Native Americans, Hispanics, Puerto Ricans, illegal Mexicans and those in Africah who are poorer to be suckcessful. Cool. Isn’t that just dandy? Learn from us. Imitate us. Wear denim jeans and tank bikini tops all the time. You need to make every dime count. Buddy, got a dime? Say YES to NO BANKRUPTCY!

Gosh, what do you want, an Indian Native American summer or a Jewish People of The Kosher Book winter with no Xmas or Santa? To go gung-ho and soar to where no man has been before, to infinity and beyond, or crash land and deplane at Mogadishu in bits and pieces? To hit a home run, or run home to starvation? You must go the whole nine yards or it’s three strikes and yer out. Golly gee whiz, for chrissakes, what more do you native Mal Asian chickenshit assholes want - a stick with a mirror attached to look up where the sun don't shine?

Remember, it ain't over till the fat lady sings. Attaboy, with the right attitood, you can win. In God we trust, everyone else pays cash $20 million in advance or it’s game over. We don’t like advertising blatantly for any commercial products, but, come chill out with us and do Have a Good McDonalds Day. Y’all sleep well, y’hear! God bless Americah, Boston and Ethos Ong Sucks. 

Now sing along with us Negaraku O, say, can you see by the dawn's early light........O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Tha....tha....that’s all folks! 

Donplaypuks® and mess around with our educations and future, MopeyDopeyDin!