NAJIB'S SKIM BUMIPUTRA SUPER HIGH INCOME DETAILS LEAKED! TONG BABI POLITICS?

by E.S. Shankar, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for non-halal ponzinajibonomics affairs

Najib had hoped to announce full details of the Bumiputra Super High Income Program at the December UMNO General Asembly. However, many, upset over this Tong Babi (pork barrel) politics, leaked the draft uncensored proposal to Donplaypuks®. And here it is!

18th August 2017

FROM THE  DESK OF MOI

MINISTRY OF FINAN & HALAL NOTHING-HAM E-CON-OMICS

PUTRIDJAYA

^{MY DEAREST  BUMIPUTRA}

May I take this opportunity to introduce myself, a fellow Bumiputra, to you? I am the daughter of a former prime minister.

Rosy, who wears the pants, and I, who wear the skirts, frilly French-lace panties and 52D-cup bras, have come up with a brand new Skim Off The Top Bumiputra 419 Super High Income'. This is based on complex new maths and algorithms which generated the formula TN50 (Tipu Negara 50Tahun) 26-9=15, similar to Einstein's E=mc². 

This skim will made be available to all Bumiputra including those non-Bumiputra from Jawa and of Jawanese parents, as well as members of Persatuan Unggul Kumpulan India Muslim Mamak (PUKIMMA) KIMMA (Kumpulan Indian Muslim Mamak).

Where is the money coming from?

Simple!

The government has 1 Con-trillion dollars parked in off-shore banks. Money was raised first through 100% owned MoF company 1Must Die Bhd 1Must Develop Bhd or 1MDB, secured by Malaysian Taxpayer suckers by sovereign government guarantees.

MO1 then appointed the world's greatest ponzi scheme specialist investment expert Jho Low Paris Hilton (JLPH), assisted by his morals and ethics guru, Dr.Zakir Naik Barang (DZNB). We offered DZBN immediate citizenship even though he is wanted in India for money-laundering, accounting fraud, tax evasion, hate speech, radicalising Muslim youth and terrorism, for which an Interpol warrant of arrest has been issued for his bigoted and racist contribution to the nation.

JLPH and DZBN together with Rosy, myself, Riza and two Abu Dhabi Arabs, put all the money into our own pockets and bought million dollar yachts, bombardier jets, luxury condos and properties, artworks and $130 million of diamonds and gold jewellery for Rosy placed the money in high-yield segregated portfolio investments. These investments, in a pig's eye, cannot be easily valued. Our auditor's, Detoilette & Co Partners Internationalisasi have confirmed they don't know what the fuck happened to the money the asset valuations and signed a clean audit report.

It then transpired that JLPH and DZNB sold off the high-yield segregated portfolio investments which cannot be valued easily and fled with the money to Taiwan from where they cannot be extradited reached retirement age and can no longer offer their expertise to us. Accordingly, the investments and assets were sold and placed in an off-shore bank in "UNITS".

However, we just now cannot repatriate these "UNITS'. We are waiting for additional regulatory approvals from Rosy, we tell a lie from certain authorities, which may take several years (TN2050 26-9=15). 

However, the off-shore bank has indicated that if the government is willing to give sovereign guarantees, they would be willing to repatriate the UNITS. 1Must Die Bhd 1Must Develop Bhd's President and COO, Kenneth Kaunda Kundi Kanda (KKKK), has worked out a bullshit 'Rationalizasi Scheme' with the off-shore banks. He has laid out all the bald facts to the bank, our (IKEA Wooden) Cabinet and PAS who can't add 2+2 to give 5 or is it 6?.

My dearest Bumiputra, Rosy and I YOUR GOVERNMENT is willing to issue a guarantee to the off-shore bank on your behalf, FREE OF CHARGE!

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO, MY DEAREST BUMIPUTRA?

COULD NOT BE SIMPLER!

1. Deposit Cash/Cheque/Bank Draft,/Cashier's Order/TT a small, negligible $26,000 Administration  Advance Fee in the bank account stated below.

3. Only 1 deposit per Bumiputra will be entertained. However, you may wish to take advantage of our 'DEPOSIT 2, FREE 1'  special offer for the first 100,000 depositors. Not satisfied? Then hurry! The first 100 depositors will also receive our 'Eat Your Heart Our Jane Fonda, Lose Weight and Restore Receding Hairline' Areobics video AND free membership to Rosy's 'Birkin Handbag and Diamonds & Gold Necklace Charity CSR Haj Exclusive Club'!!!

4. Email or fax your deposit receipt together with your name, scanned/photocopy of IC to us. Mark it for the attention of our Switzerland qualified, highly-trained and experienced bank manager as shown below:

5. Within 5 (five) working days of receiving your email/fax and confirming your deposit, we will transfer $2.6 million cash to your bank account, which includes return of your $26,000 Administration Advance Fee! Now, how about that? Just for you, my fellow Bumiputra!

6. As the UNITS have been also placed in your dreams in 6% per month high-interest bearing multi-currency deposits and diamond, gold and fucoal ventures, we will continue to deposit additional $2.6 million cash dividend cheques into your bank account, the later of TN2050 or for many, many years to come!

Now, do you think that tottering 92-year old fool with one foot in the grave, will do all this for you? Be honest! Vote for you know who!

Sincerely

1. BANK ACCOUNT:

a. Bank of Negeria-BSI

b. Name: MO1-MO2

c. Account: 2.6b1MDB-42mSRC

d. Email: hippo.con@jib.ponzi.con.bugis

Please note that the money will be deposited in our personal bank account. But, please do not misunderstand the situation. It cannot be regarded as if it is our personal bank account. We will not benefit 1 (one) cent from it. The excess money is for the benefit of UMNO/BN. But, they will not know about it. But, please do not not misunderstand the situation. It cannot be regarded as if the money is for UMNO/BN's benefit.