MAHATHIR WAS 100% RIGHT. ALL YOU OTHER BASTARDS, THE ECONOMIST, WESTERN ECONOMISTS, THE IMF, WORLD BANK AND CABAL OF GORDON GEKKOS WERE WRONG! APOLOGISE NOW AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS!!by keynes them all, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for world economic affairs
I was going to let it pass.
Right up to that millisecond after that master of convoluted incomprehensible English, Alan Greenscam, looked at the camera, blinked, and mumbled ‘I did not see it coming!’ I was stunned! For once, he was incomprehensibly, comprehensible!
It then struck me like a tsunami that all these bandicoots – Greenscam, Ben Bananacake, Paulsaulson in Wolf’s Clothings, Burning Bush, Goofy Blair, Warrenrabbit Phoebe (with apologies to ‘Friends’) Buffet, Gordonsgin Brown – and their counterparts in Europe, HK, China, India, Japan and Australia did not have a clue. For over 20 years they have been absolutely wrong. Do not forgive them Father for they ought to have known they were pathetically WRONG. They were GROSSLY overpaid not to have slept on their watch!!
Collectively they were responsible for perpetuating the greatest scam in the history of the World. Collectively they were GROSSLY NEGLIGENT and guilty of concocting America’s greatest export and business philosophy of the last 20 years, that:
‘Greed is Good, Unmitigated Greed, even better! And Unmitigated, Undiluted and Unvarnished Greed is BEST!! And if we can parcel it all and sucker it through WTO manipulation to the rest of the world, that is the icing on the cake. And if you can still keep your head and wits about you while others drop about you like bees in a smokehouse, why, my son, the scorched Earth is all yours, BUDDY!’
And they all bought it. Japan, because it is sorry for WWII, but ‘Roose face if aporogise.’ Germany because of WWI & WWII, but it is still not sorry for the Holocaust, ya wohl mein herr, Seig Heil! The Chinese because they secretly all want to be regarded as White Americans. The Indians because they all secretly want to follow China. The Honkies because they all have three jobs and secretly have no individual or collective conscience anymore. And the Singaporeans because they all secretly want to be White anyone. There, have I left out anyone in my racist tirade? Forgive me my anger because I failed to park a humongous financial loss on any bank or financial institution. I shall go to my grave with the regret of this oversight foremost on my mind.
From the South Sea Bubble episode of the 18th century, through the 1929 Wall St. Crash, October 1987 Black Monday, 1997 Asia Currency Crises, massive frauds at Barings Bank, Bank Bumi, Bank Nat Paris, Enron, Global Crossings, Tyco and especially the rape of America and UK by its CEO’s, major shareholders and top management, some facts are palpably clear. That the inalienable right to pursuit of happiness has been interpreted to mean the inalienable right to accumulate Midas and Croesus-like wealth at the expense of anybody, including one’s mother. And when in trouble, the rich and well-connected are entitled to en masse embrace ‘dole’ socialism, nay, communism, and call for the State to bail them out OR ELSE……!
Which means you, me, the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker are the one’s who will really have to cough up and forgo our measly budget LCC airlines propelled annual week’s holiday or our children’s overseas education savings, so that America can continue funding the search for WMD’s in Iran and Afghanistan.
All the Citibanks, Wachovias, Merril Lynchs, Morgan Stanleys, Goldman Sachs, Lehman’s et al have to bleat is that ‘This is Armageddon. We cannot let the banks sink (or else we will also sink)’ or ‘The CONTAGION will sink EVERYBODY’ for their buddies in the Treasury to echo the same words and swing into action with $700 billion of money that does not exist and will be created by the simple expediency of marshalling the printing presses into overtime.
Has anyone thought of the consequences of printing so much money which is not backed by real assets and wealth. Don’t worry about that buddy, let the Chinese and Indians figure that out for theirs is the future and the truly fucked shall inherit the barren Earth. Welcome to the virtual world of the Matrix where money can be created by hey presto and abracadabra.
So, here’s my dime’s worth of advice of how to put the World’s Financial System in order.
1. Ban all Speculative Trading in Oil, Commodities and Currencies and their Futures. Only producers and exporters of goods, services and commodities shall be allowed to forward sell to genuine buyers who will take physical delivery.
Thus a day trader sitting in a coconut shell in Langkawi will not be able to speculate in soya beans futures while hedging potential losses by a $:Yen interest-rate swap derivative secured by AIG insurance quoted on the Humbug Index which in turn is tied to the toxic sub-prime mortgage 2000% per annum ROI (whatever that means) and guaranteed by Developmentnomore Offshore Bank of Panama, which all vanished in a puff of smoke in September 2008!!
Remember, currency is not a commodity to be traded as recently demonstrated by Zimbabwe and its trillion $ note!
2. Ban all naked and other short selling on any Stock Exchange. The underlying principle shall be that one must have paid in money for shares or commodities etc and owned them legally before one call sell. Lending of share scripts should be totally banned.
3. Ban all contra share trading. The stock markets are meant for long-term investors. Those interested in making quick gains can buy lottery tickets, head for the casinos, bet on the EPL or whatever one fancies. Thus you have to pay for and own a share before you can sell it, period. Sure, the share market will be boring. But, boring and steady growth are infinitely better than bankruptcy, suicide and 300,000 Icelanders waking up one morning and suddenly finding themselves jobless while the Irish and British simultaneously wake up and find they have been sodomised from afar by Icelanders!
4. Proposals for all new financial instruments shall be reviewed by a specialist independent think-tank co-opted into the relevant Securities Exchanges. If it looks like or smells like a junk bond or artificial derivative, it shall not see the light of day. 50% of any such approved instrument shall be subscribed for in cash and held until redemption without further disposal or packaging (toxic masking and tarting up) by the lead underwriter, merchant and other banks involved.
The acid test for the approval of such a financial instrument shall be whether your granny or Aunty May or Petunia is able to understand what it is, how it works and what its downside risks are.
5. Share, Property & Investment Margin Financing should at all times be restricted to equity:debt of 2:1 i.e. for every $1 of cash you have, the bank will lend you no more than 50 cents. Banks shall also not extend further margin should the market value of investments appreciate since we must adhere to the principle that investment is for the long-term and not allow for the double-whammy casino mentality to get even a toe-hold.
6. All professionals who support a prospectus for sale of shares, securities, investments etc must be made financially liable for any opinion they express in support of such sales, secured by an appropriate deposit in cash, irrevocable bank guarantee or LC.
7. No lending shall be approved by any bank or financial institution unless a thorough independent credit check and rating has been carried out by the lender who shall be liable for any negligence. Lenders shall establishing the maximum any individual or company can borrow on a global basis by setting up a linked Credit Rating Agency. This will go a long way towards preventing companies like GE hocking all their cashflow and being unable to pay staff salaries and basic overheads when pork futures go belly-up in Beijing.
8. Appointment of internal and external auditors and independent directors of public and listed companies shall fall under the purview of a Govt-established body. If the Boards, Chairmen and CEO’s do not co-operate, the Govt shall be empowered to sack them and close the company down.
Self regulation is a joke and has long been a ticket for conscienceless ‘captains of industry’ to write their own paycheck at the expense of minority shareholders and the Govt. Similarly, the functioning of the regulatory bodies for Accountants, Lawyers & Solicitors, Doctors etc shall all be taken out of the hands of accountants, lawyers and doctors and be placed in the hands of the Government. That’s what Governing means, not outsourcing the security of chicken farms to the foxes!
9. The huge hundred million $ bonuses and stock-option payouts to CEO’s and top Management shall first be paid into a Govt Trust Fund and be released to the beneficiaries only after a period of 3 years following their departure provided no frauds or financial collapse occurs which can be traced to their tenure in office. If a relevant fraud occurs after the money has been released, investors shall be entitled to go after the personal assets of these CEO’s even if they have been transferred to their spouses, children, trust fund etc.
10. The bare minimum punishment for financial misdemeanours, frauds and wanton mismanagement shall be whipping and three years hard labour in prison with no remission or plea bargaining. For the more serious offences, whipping, caning, amputation, beheading and all other forms of capital punishment shall also be mandatory. Way to go Iran and China! By this reckoning, we should be offering high mass for members of the Fed Reserve, Greenscam, the Secretary of the Treasury and their counterparts in UK and Europe while many shall line the streets and cheer.
11. The issue of credit cards shall be governed on the same principle as bank lending, on a global credit rating for each individual. Credit cards may not offer cash advance facility, which invariably results in those with low credit rating using it as an unsecured overdraft. Credit card issuing companies will suffer low growth? I reckon lower default rates will balance things out.
12. Lastly, and this has nothing to do directly with the financial system. But all the additional money that people will have saved by not being able to gamble on the Casino Stock Exchanges in the World, shall be used to repair Global Warming and to assemble the largest Army in Human History to invade the Dutch, Japanese, Russian, Norwegian, Thai, Chinese, Indian and other environment terrorists and poachers who cull baby seals, sharks, dolphins and whales or hunt tigers, elephants, lions, zebras, pangolins and bears (for their paws only) for profit.
Those captured shall be forced to work without pay in the Accounts Department of Lehman Brothers. Merril Lynch, Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs to total up the daily payables and receivables manually, i.e. without the aid of a calculator or computer, several times a day!
How to make this financially viable, you ask? Go figure it out BANANACAKE DUMMY! That’s why you were overpaid $1 million before.
No doubt these measures will perhaps throw a million or so people out of their jobs in the financial sector, Worldwide. But such a catharsis is necessary in the short-term for the long-term orderly and systematic economic growth of individual countries and the World.
I worry deeply when many today plunge for a degree in business studies and a career in the financial sector, equating it with a licence to accumulate wealth at any and all costs.
The moral dimension of ill-begotten gains seems to be neither a consideration nor an obstacle to the accumulation of wealth.
And why would it, with the stellar example demonstrated Worldwide by our so called Guardians and Financial Experts.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Sea_Bubbles?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wall_Street_Crash_of_1929
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stock_market_crash_in_1987
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_financial_crisis
http://malayscandals.blogspot.com/2007/08/scandal.html
donplaypuks® with the economy, man!!
