by surya nades 15 beers, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for barisan rakyat affairs
Malkit Siang Gill Sr - The natives are getting restless! Whoa, I hantam sky-change lah, sea-change 916 lah, toll highway interchange lah, everywhere in my speeches lah. But still no toppling, no frogs leaping above or below the wind, bludder!!
Kapak Singh Gill - We can't rely on defections alone you know, your honour, Sir Abim Obasama.
SAO - Should we then rely on ex-National Central Bang plants masquerading as your Deputy Chairman?
Tok Guru Nicholas Gill - Sabar brudders, Sabah. All in good thime. Have patien, have faith that Sir Abim will deliver. The opposition is panicking and in complete disarray. We are almost there.
SAO - I can confidently tell you we have the numbers. Some negotiations are still underway and have delayed matters. Rosemajibbed is being manipulated to topple Rip Van Winkle earlier than June 2010 so that Cassius Sil aka Hairy Plotter The Silly will not have time to place his men everywhere. Hairy is trying to get rid of the old guard like Grumpymopeydopeydin, Baldy Magoo No Bianca, Kerismudin, rAPfirewoman who secretly wants to come back, Mat Tyson Suitcase Empty etc. And of course ambitious amateur in-your-face upstarts like Shoveinyourass Updalcha. Their situation is shambolic!
Malkit Siang Gill Sr - It's all right for you. If you lose you will just go back to your IMF friends and Washington and lecher in Islamic studies again. But we may be forced to do a deal with the devil, dammit!!!
SAO - Don be stupid or act hastily! The rats are openly talking about deserting the sinking ship. Parti Tak Gerak now has an 80% mandate to jump ship and CHARSIU (Chinese Heavenly Association for Race, Sincerity, Intelligence & Unity) members are ready except for the stubborn old goats at the very top and their biz croneys who are afraid all the old dirty deals will be exposed. KALINGA (Kesatuan Alam Liga India Neo Ganga Arya) is a ship without a rudder or crew, all of whom have thrown their weight behind INDRAF (Indian Rights Action Force). KALINGA will be extinct within a year, but certainly before the 2013 General Elections!
Kapak Singh Gill - What about Kaviasitahardkaurass and the Pip Pip Pip Party, your honor? Maybe the Indians will go there to avoid being Mohd ISA'd?
SAO - A man, any man, who does not immediately defend his people's integrity, honour and self-respect when they are unjustifiably insulted and humiliated publicly by people like that Turkish mamak Ketuanan Melayu Jedi Master Planner for Parameswara Land from PUKS (Parti Uniti dan Keadilan Semenanjung), cannot hope to lead a pair of battery jump start cables let alone a political party. So, he and his party are now history. Oh, I forgot, he has 1 supporter - Stephanie from that corner-shop in Ampang!
Malkit Siang Gill Sr - But bludder, they are threatening to Mohd ISA everyone for their own safety and well-being!!
Sivajiraja SD- It's not like you haven't been there before. When they start arresting bloggers and then reporters and MP's without even preliminary investigations, you can smell their fear and desperation. They are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. What, if your, our and Tok Guru's supporters all decide to march peacefully tomorrow, how many can they arrest? How long can they survive from the international back-lash and flight of FDI's?
Kapak Singh Gill - Areva bhai, easy for you to say. I'm on a wheel-chair, very difficult to go for a wee wee or no.2 call in Kamunting you know, you honour.
Mohd Clay Ali - Brudders. I and Abim have been through some of the most trying and terrible times since '98. So, facing these obstacles is nothing new. A question of mind over matter. I assure you all that we will get there soon. September 16th created the panic. All you Gills are behaving like novice fish out of water, for God's sake!! Soon, we'll go for the kill !! And think of the positives. We have their ex-Minister for Law on our side.
Tok Guru Nicholas Gill - That's right! Mecca was not conquered in a day, remember that!!
Malkit Siang Gill Sr - And that's what worries me Tok Guru. Are your loyalties to our Group or Mecca, Medina, the Ayatollah and the Taliban/Al Qaeda?
Tok Guru Nicholas Gill - As you make your bed, so must you lie on it.
SAO - Very cryptic remarks, Tok Guru. But, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, we must not act rashly. STAND UNITED. AGREED? ONE FOR ONE AND ALL FOR ONE!! And don forget, we are all loyal to the King! And THE LIST remains with me alone until I meet Him!!
ALL - AGREED!! ONE FOR ONE AND ALL FOR ONE!!
donplaypuks® with my musketeers, man!!
bhai - punjabi for brother
bludder - brudder, brother
hantam - whack
land below the wind - Sabah
sabar - patience
SAO - Sir Abim Obasama, leader of Barisan Rakyat political party
thime - time