AH LONG FROM BUKIT BERUNTONG ENTERPRISE SDN. BHD.

by don ah fatt cosa nostril, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for IMF and Word Bank affairs

(for example of ah long sevices check out "housewife: ah long played with my lingerie." click here )

(Click on pics for enlarged view).

ah long from bukit beruntong

ah long in action

AH LONG FROM BUKIT BERUNTONG ENTERPRISE *1

$$$!! You wan $10,000 Personal Loan$$$? More? Discover the road to financial freedom.
Easy! Call our Consultans NOW!! - 020 - 08-08-08. Any time oso can one. $$$!!
Very the attraction interest rates (negotiable).
$$$$ 1 Hour Approver
NO NEED - Glantee / Collaterror
NO NEED - Form J
NO NEED - Bank Stakemen
NO NEED - Deposik
NO NEED - Cledit Lisk Histoly
$$$From 3% per month. Terms & Conditions apply$$$
$$$
LICEN Finan Consultan
LICEN Moneylender*2
LICEN Cheque Echange
LICEN Finan Combany
LICEN Prawnbroker
LICEN horse head REPO and Debt Collector*2
(Unlicen fingerbrokers, bone re-setters, ear lobe adjustors, and oso funeral services by amerigo bonasera and enzo the baker)

*1 member of international institute of directors, managers, wills, trusts, executors and executioners

*2 affiliated to corleone g.sachs citistanleylynch aig international finance inc AND international extra secondary bank negara mamak havala moneylenders inc (highly recommended by aides to Ms.management.epu@extracon.extra.gov ministers, chief ministers and rosemajib (de facto pm) and her husband

Fill in form (must). Vely simper one, mah:

Loan Amount You Wan (RM)...................
Full Name (like IC)
Age
Sex
House address ( foto copy hand phone bill / electricity bill. got fence/alsatian dog/guard security?)
Job (gip last pay slip)
Malaysian IC / International Passport (foto copy)
Must gip 1 passport sai colour foto
Must gip 1 rai and 1 left thumb print

1. You live with (gip name/IC):
(a) Fadder/Mudder/bludder/sister
(b) Wife and chewdrens (gip wife office address, chewdren school, IC)
(c) Girlfren
(d) Man / Lady fren
(e) Boy fren
(f) Pet dog/cat/hamster/fish/pig

2. You have (gip detail):
(a) Bank Simpanan passbook
(b) ATM card
(c) Credit card
(d) Genting card

3. You have (gip detail):
(a) email
(b) Hand fone
(c) House fone
(d) Face Book

4. Reason Loan:
(a) Expan bizness
(b) Get married
(c) Deposik buy new house
(d) Deposik buy new car
(e) Setter mother/wife/chewdren medicur bill*1
(f) Setter plevious ah long loan (our balance transfer program)
(g) World Cup Football
(h) Buy 4D
(i) EPL
(j) Genting holiday
(k) Marina Bay Casinoresortopolis Singiapor holiday
(l) Sign up kung fu class*2
(m) KLSE casino investmen
(n) Setter credit card
(o) All above

*1 Have serious heart pobbum or serious medicur congdishen? DON apply!
*2 Signing up for kung fu class? DON apply!

5. What your all time favourite cinema filem:
(a) Godfather 1
(b) Predator 1
(c) Terminator 1
(d) All above

6. What your favourite scene from Godfather 1:
(a) Cut off horse head
(b) Shoot off Mo Green eyeballs
(c) Shoot Sonny Corleone dead with 200 bullets
(d) Poke Luca Brasi's ("sleep with the fish") back of hand with knife and strangle him
(e) Blow up Michael Corleone's car and wife
(f) Shoot off spaghetti and fettuccine
(g) All of above

7. Where can normali fine you after midnight:
(a) At home watching TV with fadder, mudder/wife/girlfren/boyfren/fren
(b) Bukit Bintang kalaoke
(c) Zouk / Beach disco
(d) Lolong Haji Taib
(e) Feng Thou techno music"ice" joint

8. Which our calling card you plefelence:

(a) Red paint

(b) Cow/dog/cat shit

(c) Pig's blood (muslim never mine, can send cow's head one)

9. You wan join our Frequent Borrower program?
(a) $1 interest, 1 poin.
(b) 10% off next loan interest
(c) 50% off medicur bills for prosthetics, broken bones and injuries at affiliated medicur clinics.
(d) Can redeem poins against current loan and new loan
(e) Join 'member get member' program for double poins.
(f) Can transfer poins to spouse and family borrowers.
(g) Can redeem poins at Las Vegas casino (our own slot machine, blacj jack and roulette casino in Jinjang, Cheras and Kepong) and KLSE casino.

10. How do you hear abourus:
(a) Ad on telephone pole
(b) Ad on junction traffic light
(c) Fren tell
(d) Ad on fren/relative forehead
(f) Smell of pig's blood from neighbour porch
(g) Smell of car burning in neighbour porch

I,...........(full name as per IC), IC No........(as per IC) of .........(house address) hereby certify that I am in good medical health, bad finan health and have read and understood all terms and conditions of my Ah Long From Bukit Beruntong Enterprise Loan Agreement, in particular:

"..highly beneficial and generous charity loan shall carry interest at xxx% per annum calculated on daily rest basis....interest rate for 1 month or shorter duration loan shall be at higher rates...late payment of loan shall attract additional hourly interest at xx% per day....all loan repayment shall be in cash....no prepayment or early settlement of loan dim sum....I am not a fren or relative of Michael Chong...".


.....................................................................................
(Borrower sign here)

......................................................................................

(Borrower thumbprints here)

................................................................................................
MR.AH LONG WONG MAH NEE aka SUM TING WONG
Managing Director

AH LONG FROM BUKIT BERUNTONG ENTERPRISE SDN. BHD.

NB
WARNING - False declaration your health can result in loss of health for relative/fren!
WARNING - Late payment interest/loan can result in loss of body part!
WARNING - Don try act funny run away without setter full loan, can happen loss of oxygen to brain one!
$$$

donplaypuks® with my loan repaymen, mah!