- Tetley's Tea Bags - 90% aroma, 10% body.
- Earl Grey - 50% aroma, 50% body.
- Darjeeling - 90% body, 10% aroma.
- Far T - 90% aroma, 10 % body. Sold by the cc (cubic centimetres).
- Shi T - 50% aroma, 50% body. Sold by the kg (kilogram).
- Cnu T - 90% body, 10% aroma. Sold by china doll.
- Pas T - 100% fundamental hot air for those religiously inclined. Sold by Osama (deceased).
- Dato Trio T - 100% HollyBollyTonkywood aroma. The creme de la creme of BUMNO sponsored salacious spicy teas, specially imported from the salons of Phat Pong in Bangcoq. When boiling water is poured over the tea leaves, a magical top layer of blue film will appear, which when sipped, can transform full-haired young men into pot-bellied grandpas wearing crew cut hairsyle. Must be consumed with jantan ali copporn. Boiling water must be timed with Omega Oyster Perpetual Day-Date Wrist Watch donated by Saudi Prince. For best results, comely China Doll will be on hand to ensure first boil is achieved satisfactorily in exactly 15 minutes and second boil, 30 minutes later. Sold by Cik Thamby Pendek.
- Air Hitam du TOILET with brown sludge ooze and ammonia, optional. Specially collected and bottled from Puncak, Splash and Syabas underground springs in the Klang Valley.
- Air Derriere du FLOM (First Lady of Mongolia) reserved to keep in shape the blossoming butts of FLOM, FLOS (First Lady of Shopping) and FLOP (First Lady of Putrajaya).
- Air Asia du CHEAP (Certified Helluva Experience Aero Planes) at $15 a bottle with $30 coqscrew if booked online and paid by credit card in advance. Otw, in-flight orders will cost $30 per bottle an coqscrew, $60. Now, Everyone Can Drink (if you can afford it, but you'll get coqscrewed anyway).
"Please don't be swearing at me, Madam rAPidafire!"
"Oh, el mega stupido Maidin, I meant for First Lady of Curtin University."
"Oh, is there a doctor in the house?"
"Oh, do people have fake degrees here?'
"Perishing the thought!"
Donplaypuks® with INTEGRI T, man!