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29/05/2012

GOLLY GEE, THE G-SPOT?

by dick hardon kinsey MD, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondents for human sex affairs

"A US gynaecologist claims to have found the G-spot, a supposed pleasure centre on the front interior wall of the vagina, but some critics say not so fast. Adam Ostrzenski said he has confirmed the presence of the G-spot after extracting a tiny well-delineated sac structure. The G-spot, named after German gynaecologist Ernst Graefenberg, who first mooted its existence in 1950, is said to be a highly sensitive area in the vagina that, when stimulated, gives a woman a powerful orgasm." Journal of Sexual Medicine. 28 April 2012.

But, Donplaypuks® and his team of intrepid sex(y) scientists have long known that, as usual, the Americans and Germans are terribly and awfully wrong. As they are about trillion dollar government bailouts favouring Wall St. and Greece, and why the western economic model has failed. (Favour cronies, encourage collosal ponzi get-rich-schemes and continue to encourage an economy based on speculating on the stock exchange and forex/futures market? Then, the collapse of the west is imminent!)

What Donplaypuks® and his team of intrepid sex(y) scientists have discovered is that there are several types of G-spots located on several specific places on and within the human body, i.e. on both male AND female bodies. They are:

1. The Grossmahjib G-spots

These will be found at three locations on the female anatomy. 


The first Grossmahjib G-spot is to be found at the centre of a balding female's forehead. This G-spot, when caressed, will send its owner spining into illusions of grandeur, to such an extent that she will think she is Royalty and First Lady of Mongolia, Putrajaya or Curtin University, acronimized as FLOM, FLOP and FLOCU. 

She will start throwing grand and extravagant dinners and engagement parties costing millions of dollars that would embarass Queen Elizabeth, and then pass the bill to the government. It will create a penchant for $74 million diamond rings from Jacob's Cracko Biscuits of New York.

The second and third Grossmahjib G-spot are to be found at the centre of the back of the palm of the female hands. When tickled, breathed upon or kissed on this G-spot, the female will have a frenzied desire for, not well dileanated sacs, but oversized $200,000 Birkin handbags which can be ordered through, at no cost and be personally delivered by, carperbagger Dibagpack Jaikishahjahan and his wife, Tajmumtaz Very Mahal. Call 888-8888 8888 at Sucessful Corp HQ.

2. The Gajibuta Goondu G-spot

The Gajibuta Goondu G-spot is located primarily in the male anatomy of BUMNO/BN Prime Ministers and (Wooden) Cabinet members, in the region 'where the sun don't shine.' Occasionally, a female may possess one too, like a certain lady dubbed "Minister of Cowgate."

It is much sought after by "got free $1 billion contract or not?" BUMNO/BN members and civil serpents who fervently believe the sun does shine out from the male anatomy of BUMNO/BN Prime Ministers and (Wooden) Cabinet members, out of the region 'where the sun don't shine into.'

Many are forced to take up Yoga classes (banned by fatwa) since their hips and necks must have a high degree of flexibilty to bend over and kiss ass for high paying, no-work government paid jobs and contracts. Busy 1M Prime Ministers often outsource these functions to their con-sultant drivers hired by 1Israel APCO. They are referred to as Pemadu Gajibuta Goondu Roti Jala Transformers.

3.The Ging Gang Gooli Gooli G-spot

If ass-kissing does not work, then tickling, or better still, if you have a probing tongue, licking the outer base of the pouch encasing the goolies of BUMNO/BN Prime Ministers and (Wooden) Cabinet members while singing the ging gang gooli gooli song will usually do the trick. Here are the lyrics to the ging gang gooli gooli song:
Oompah, oompah, oompah, oompah.
Ging gang goolie goolie goolie goolie watchagot not billion $ contract?
Ging gang poo, ging gang poo.
Ging gang goolie goolie goolie goolie watchagot not billion $ contrac?
Ging gang poo, ging gang poo.
Make hay lah, while the sun shines, make hay lah, hay lah ho,
Make hay lah, while the sun shines, make hay lah, hay lah ho,
Shaft the willy, shaft the willy, shaft the willy, willy nilly,
Oompah, oompah, oompah, oompah
4. The G-String G-spot

This is the much favoured sport of G-spot watching of Chief Ministers, State Assemblymen, civil serpents and top management of government losing concerns.

It is the preferred route to wangling first class travel and all-expenses paid government sponsored "overseas study cum travel" trips to the higly acclaimed belly dancing educational institutions in Bangkok, Dubai, Morocco and Beirut, for "Research & Development" purposes. Aftre all, belly dancers hang out in hip circles. However, the Ministry of Defence sends our admirals to the top calibre Navel Academy for their G-String G-spot training.

Do you know of any other G-spots we have missed out?

Donplaypuks® with G-spotting, man!

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Dean Johns said...

Geez, Donplaypuks, yet another g-g-gorgeously satirical piece :-)