The World Anthem


WE ARE ALL OF 1 RACE, THE HUMAN RACE.


Showing posts with label Mana Ada Sistem Airlines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mana Ada Sistem Airlines. Show all posts

05/06/2015

WHY GERMAN HERR CHRISTOPHER MUELLER IS THE RIGHT HATCHET MAN TO RE-BUILD MAS!


by the wright brothers for the right affairs, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for aviation bailout affairs



As a Malaysian, I am not sentimental over state-owned enterprises, organizations and businesses that incur RM20 billion in loss bailouts by the Taxpayer, and then justify continuing making more $billion losses by wrapping it over with the national flag, shedding crocodile tears and talking about "national asset" and patriotism. 

National pride and patriotism have a price and a limit. The idea of losing more money than these businesses ever made can only be mooted by those who have a licence to extend their scaly, sticky claws and rifle other people's pockets and lift their wallets.

Let's face it, Proton, MAS, Perwaja, 1MDB et al have all proven to be huge blood-sucking financial liabilities, forced upon the Rakyat by political ogres with monstrously large egos. If Mahathir, Daim and Najib were initially told that they would have to fund these government guaranteed and subsidised businesses from their own pockets, they would have fled back to Kerala, Sumatra and the Celebes. If we were to successfully prosecute them for their criminal negligence and ineptitude, they would have to serve several lifetimes in jail. 

The appointment of Christopher Mueller from Germany as CEO to, hopefully, re-build MAS from the ashes of failure and ignominy to rise successfully like the proverbial Phoenix, is one of the best decisions our government has ever made. 

This is not because Mueller can walk on water (he can't) or that he will not fail; he may well falter, due to political interference or uncontrollable market forces and events. It is also not because we do not have local talent which theoretically can do what Mueller has already embarked on.

Everyone in MAS and Malaysia and his uncle Bob knew long, long ago, what ailed at MAS. Cronyism, corruption, plundering and looting took place before the very eyes of MAS staff  and the Rakyat. Everyone in MAS and Malaysia and his uncle Bob knew long, long ago, what the solutions were.

Yet, everyone waited till some RM15 billion was pick pocketed from the Treasury, before Khazanah finally pulled the plug last year, took MAS private and ushered Mueller into the ICU room where MAS lay in near-death coma. The German did not waste time. He cut deep into the overflowing adipose layer of MAS. He is busy excising every ounce of fat which clings to and clogs the flying (or not flying) arteries and veins that caused the violent cardiac arrest of our "national asset'! Mueller gave some 8,000 redundant staff the sad and bad news - surplus to basic requirements.

Where a proper welfare-state action was required, PM Najib and Khazanah were found wanting. Why did they not offer new skills training programs followed by jobs for the redundant MAS staff? Instead, it took the one man, DAP Chief Minister of Penang Island, Lim Guan Eng, who is deliberately demonised by Mahathir as the one who breakfasts daily on Malay and Muslim flesh and sucks the blood of Malay and Muslim children for tea, to offer sympathy and re-employment programs for laid off MAS staff!  

Did it need Mueller to tell us that MAS was over-staffed by at least 1/3? The previous Chairman and CEO of MAS did not look at aviation industry standards and statistics? They did not peer into SIA's performance records and wonder how another state-controlled airlines could churn in billion dollar profits year after year, while MAS bled from top to bottom, year after year? How come I read about it over 10 years ago?

A popular columnist whom I admire wrote yesterday:

"Our politicians bled MAS dry and Mueller wants to perform a cull and punish the employees instead of the fat cats who sat on the management board."

Well sorry, my dear, Mueller has no authority whatsoever to look at the past and go after the thieves and looters. No matter what, that's not what his expertise is required for. And that is precisely why there was and is no alternative to engaging a foreign turn-around expert with a proven track record to take the scalpel to MAS. 

The staff who enjoyed good salaries, bonus and perks are not entirely blameless either. And where were the unions? They threatened to en bloc vote for the Opposition if  Najib so much as put a stethoscope to MAS's chest! Last I heard, the union chiefs were squabbling over which was the right side for staff to enter the prayer rooms from!

The situation in Malaysia has fast evolved to a stage where meritocracy practically means nothing in state-owned and controlled organizations and businesses. Over thirty years of Mahathirism and skewed "affirmative action" government policies have cemented it. The cradle-to-grave welfare state metality has taken seige of the ultra-Bumiputra, especially the Malay, mind, fueled by BTN brainwashing and flamed by the insane Ketuanan rave and rant and false philosophy of Perkasa, Redhuan Tee, ISMA and the like. Sweeping the dirt under the carpet and pretending not to notice the cracks in the wall has become a national habit.

Why is a foreigner necessary to nurse MAS back to health and acceptable profitability? 

In 1983, PM Margaret Thatcher was faced with a MAS-like situation vis-a-vis UK's crumbling coal-mining industry. The mines were losing billion of pounds, while the pits and union offices were bloated, over-staffed with leaders, unionists and miners. The unions would not entertain a whisper of lay-offs, pit closures or industry reforms. They went on strike at the drop of a pick axe. Britain's economy was in near tatters. No Englishman would step up to do the right thing and downsize an industry which was still living in the age of the ferocious dinosaur.

Thatcher did a neat piece of paradigm tap-dancing and appointed a foreigner, an American, Ian McGregor, to do the hatchet job. McGregor had already carried out lobotomies, full heart by-passes,  liposuctions and varicose vein removal operations at UK nationalised car company British Leyland and British Steel where the ink had run red for years. He arrested further dripping on to the sopping blood-soaked carpets there, and re-vitalised these mega loss-making industries .

Why a foreigner, an American? Well, it has to do with the same reason why we need a foreigner, a German, Christopher Mueller, to make MAS fly once again.

Put simply, in the divided and polarised 1Malaysia of today, no Bumiputra Malay will be allowed to do what is necessary or doggedly pursue what it takes to completion and engineer a truly successful turn around at MAS. They will succumb to political interference and pressure. When accused of being traitors to their own kind, the dreaded "Jebat, Hang Tuah and derhaka" cry, they will not be able to make those hard decisions. They will wilt under Perkasa and ISMA's accusations, and dare not allow meritocracy to flourish and MAS to spring back to a meaningfully profitable life. They would rather the government print more and more money to bailout MAS, than lay-off one excessive worker. Where ruthless efficiency will be the bitter pill required to be swallowed, we can be very assured that they will substitute it with namby-pamby, syrupy, mollycoddling and ill-affordable perks, handouts and allowances!

This is how Mahathirism has programmed the ultra-Bumiputras, especially the Malay elite mind. They will set the bar lower rather than higher, until the government itself collapses. One local CEO will plumb for outright buying of aircrafts one year, another will push for leasing the next, both options being acceptable as million dollar kick-backs in the airlines industry are nothing new in a highly competitive arena and cut-throat business domains.

Will appointing a Chinese or Indian work? No! The Chinese will be told that one must not break a fellow citizen's rice bowl or they can return to China, the Indian,  that he should be grateful his grandfather was granted citizenship and that besides, the culture at MAS is such that the staff will boycott a non-Bumiputra CEO. 'Apa lagi you mahu, anak pendatang?' (what more do you want, children of immigrants) will be the insulting reaction. Race, religion, colour, creed and culture will all be used to make life for a non-Bumi CEO at MAS, untenable and unworkable.

Mueller, however, will have arrived with no baggage or tag. He does not have to look at who stole what, when, where and who from before he arrived. That will be PM Najib and Khazanah's job. He will not have to worry about Bumiputra and Malay quotas. His remit will be to transform MAS back into the 5-star profitable airlines star it used to be. He knows no one can achieve that by offering 3-star service, soggy nasi lemak, limp noodles and being side-tracked by cut-throat low cost airlines upstarts. Mueller's job will be to capitalise MAS at the optimum cash plus borrowing (gearing) level and maximise profits. In other words, the return on capital must meet industry norms, and not that of some fantasized social welfare club!

To do all that, he will need the most qualified, trained, experienced, committed and motivated staff. He has no time to play the race and quota game. He needs the best, and only, the best. If that means the arrival and colonisation by a more egalitarian, efficient and happy work force and environment where only meritocracy and being a Malaysian counts, we will all soon be laughing all the way to the bank!

And, if the politicians stick their noses in where not wanted, Mueller can always stick two fingers in the air and walk away, and blame them for failure. It's a no-lose situation for Mueller. With that kind of freedom, Mueller cannot fail.

I wish Christopher Mueller every success with MAS and hope that he will emulate the other two Muellers who have attained the world stage. They are goal-scoring machines, footballers Gerd Mueller (of the fantastic '70's and '80's) and Thomas Mueller (in the current era). Both are from Bayern Munich (2013-14 UEFA Champions League winners) and German national football teams which won gold medals at the World Cup. 

MAS's Christopher Mueller will have his hands full transforming MAS into the kind of 'lean and mean fighting machine' and winning outfit that Bayern and the German national football teams are renown for. 

Now, that's the kind of ruthless efficiency and achievement I like to talk about, the kind that wins gold medals and everyone openly admires - the best kind!


Donplaypuks® with RM20 billion aviation bailouts, man!

12/08/2011

MANA ADA SISTEM AIRLINES - MY 2007 NOSTRADAMNIC PREDICTION COME TRUE!

by Earheart Lindhberg, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for aviation industrious crashing affairs

 

Malaysian newspapers, online news portals and blogs are awash with breaking news that a certain share swap deal between Tony F of AA and major shareholder of Mana Ada Sistem Airlines (MASA),  the Great Khazi, is just a precursor to the eventual complete takeover of MASA by TF who will finally be appointed the Managing Director and become the public face of MASA. 

Many suspect, and not without considerable justification, that the current situation where TF is a non-independent non-executive director of MASA is just an interim face-saving Ali-Baba arrangement to quell rebellion in the ranks and the natives in the "Malay heartland" (wherever that may, er, east of Kuala Selangor?) getting restless and rioting and looting (in Malaysia, no, never!) a la London and the Arab Spring Movement. 

In any event, the deal would make no sense unless TF has been given assurances that for the moment at least, he will be calling and firing the shots from behind the scene regardless of whom the Great Khazi says is the Chairman and the CEO.

Many are against this share swap deal mainly because of the monopoly it will create and the hammering consumers will get from its price fixing.

Nevertheless TF's management and entrepreneurial flair may just be what MASA needs to shake off over 30 years of social welfare-type management style, Government interference and mismanagement and crony and management led plundering and looting that has brought MASA to its knees. A prime example is the allegation that outsourcing of MASA's catering requirements to a relative of a former sleeping prime minister resulted in $2 nasi lemak packets being procured for $20!! More shocking are allegtaions that Indian vegetarian meals cost MASA $200 per set!!??

Forget me not too that Perterjunan Malaysia Berhad (PMB, 100% owned by the Great Khazi/Taxpayer) is said to be saddled with some estimated $10 billion over of re-structuring losses and irrecoverable aircraft leasing charges.

Expect nothing less now than total staff shakeout and management re-structuring and VSS at MASA.TF and the Bina Fcukir boys will be fools if they don't start pruning, chopping, cleaning and clearing. An opportunity like this may not present itself more than once in 50 years!

But, the Taxpayer is entitled to demand the Prime Minister and Government immediately provide clear cut answers to some very vexing questions:

1. How much in total has it costs us to re-structure MASA since a certain TR took over in the '90's?

2. How much irrecoverable loss is  PMB carrying and how much are MASA's unpaid debts to PMB?  

3. Why is foot-in-mouth Minister for Outlaws, Nazi, championing the case for various government agencies dropping their law suits against TR in favour of a secret settlement for an undisclosed sum (what, OSA classification again?) when there are several police reports by ex-MASA staff accusing TR of fraud, CBT and embezzlement. 

The fact that TR, as part of an "attack is the best form of defence" stragedy, has counter sued for $13 billion is irrelevant. The average Ali, Muthu and Chong out there will tell you TR has no case and to call his bluff! 

And "mengarah" does not mean "direct" or "order" but "advise"??!! My foot!

No one must be allowed to get away with murder! (How many people remember or know that our former Finance Minister and billonaire Tun Daim Zainuddin and Tajuddin Ramli were once business partners in Raleigh Cycle Berhad in the '80's - refer pg.186 of 'Daim - The Man Behind The Enigma' by Cheong Mei Sui & Adibah Amin).

I had predicted that something like this deal between MASA and Tony F/AA would happen, way back in 2007! 

Click Here

Donplaypuks® with our airlines, man! 

16/04/2008

GO FLY KITES

by Tony Roti Jala
donplaypuks' intrepid corresponsent for avionics affairs

Come April 21st, those who saw in AA the second coming, and supported its Low Cost Carrier air-fares and business model whole-heartedly, will have, as their just desserts, their teeth kicked in!

In the wake of trail-blazing ‘Brave New World’ and in the true spirit of ‘Our Customers Are Our Partners’ AA will charge passengers for all check-in luggage, where previously check-in luggage not exceeding 15kg, was free.

Big Brother of AA, in true government and bureaucratic double speak, a strange language for an out-and-out private-sector commercial enterprise, was apparently moved, urged, nay compelled, by the exigencies of its Loyalty Programme, to offer this revolutionary service to budget conscious air-travellers, ‘to change consumer behaviour and encourage people to travel lighter’ .

Presumably, by emptying their wallets faster than you can say ‘Tony, F U' , or is it MU?

Bbb…, bbbut, other LCC’s as well as International Carriers are not charging for check-in luggage. How come, Tone honey?

AA's primary aim is to continue to keep costs low for all our guests. This means guests will only pay for services they use. With the cost of flying rising (due to increasingly higher fuel costs), we are looking to change consumer behaviour and encourage people to travel lighter.

It is a common policy for low cost carriers in Europe and the US to charge for checked baggage. The traditional carriers who charge higher ticket prices already have this cost built into the ticket price. At AA, our guests have the choice of paying for this service if they want to use it.’

Spoken like a true robber baron!

So, you save money by paying the same fare as before, but extra for check-in luggage? Huh?

But Tone, you knew about what European & US LCC’s were doing and accordingly, structured your start-up with all-inclusive fairs in line with the model of traditional carriers, didn’t you?

And the names of ALL these dastardly hundreds of Euro & US over-charging swinehund carriers are?.... er, Tony, Tone… Man, can you run faster than a guy with a bad case of roti-Jala runs up his ass… mmmm!

Is AA trying to make money out of this?

Over to Tony:

‘With increasingly rising fuel costs we are introducing this fee in order to continue to strive to keep our fares as low as possible. Lighter baggage weight onboard the aircraft means burning less fuel, hence, less pollution and a better environment.

Guests who travel light should not be subsidising others who require this service. This will lead to savings and help keep basic fares low for everyone. Our aim is to encourage guests to travel light and pay only for the service they require.

Nah, we wouldn’t go for the money, not us? Would we? Naah! Not for King & Country!

SHOW ME DA FCUKING MONEY!! SHOW MEEEEEE!SHOWMEDABUNNEEFUNEEMONEEEE……….!!

Oh, and that was a nice touch Tone. That schmaltzy spiel would make you the darling of Greenpeace. You know, that itsy bitsy about lighter load saving fuel usage and over-night, solving Global Warming, Polar Ice-cap Melt-down, Ozone Layer Depletion. Not to mention improving the lot of whales, dolphins, sharks, pangolins, white-tigers & rhinocerii, the Penan and the smog over Mexico & China!

You only left out the children in Ethiopia and Mother Teresa. Naughty!

So, my fellow weary bargain-hunting air-travellers, get ready for that week’s break in Borobudur, Angkor Wat or Lake Toba, decked out with the sartorial elegance of a Desert Rat - a pair of jeans and/or shorts, 2 t-shirts and a pair of underwear. Anything more, and you will need a gunny sack of cash to pay for your friendly overseas hotel’s in-house rip-off laundry charges.

Also, don't worry about the stink in the plane on your return flight; you won't be able to smell anything, it'll be so saturated, almost like a smog inside the cabin from all the passengers!! but do bring your own mini-oxygen tank or AA will supply you one for only $....., but no refund on empties though, let's play fair!

And please, don’t belly-ache about the 68th time your AA flight has been delayed this year. It’s only 1675% more than Jetstar’s delays. And don't start about monopolies, anti-competition etc etc.

Meanwhile, Uncle Tony will be busy adding that imported Italian marble super-jet deluxe jacuzzi and snazzy Bose home-theatre and audio systems to his Taj Mahal in Bali. But, he will be travelling AA and paying for his checked-in suitcase. Somewhat better behaviour, I suppose, than those free-loaders who buy multi-million $ jumbo-jets with taxpayers' money for trips to open Nasi Kandar restaurants in Perth!!

Ciao!

donflypuks with me man!!

donplaypuks

21/05/2007

'MASA AIRLINES REVAMP FINAL, FINAL, DEFINITELY LAST TIME ONE' SAYS CHAIRMAN

By Earheart Lindhberg, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for Aviation Affairs

In the wake of Q1 losses of $ 250 million and further forseeable losses of $1 billion, KorpoRat Kepten Moonira Nor Ali Bacha (popularly known as Jag), Non-executive Jedi Chairperson of Mana Ada System Airlines (MASA),speaking from corporate HQ in MU Stadium, Manchester, had this to say to Earheart Lindhberg of donplaypuks®.

EL Well Jag, how’s the going?

MOON Very tough!! Well, you know, when the going gets tough, the tough disap.., er no, get going. So, I got going to Manchester. United are 10 points behind the Blues, but with a game in hand. Ladbrokes is already paying out on the Blues to win the league. Fortunately, I had, with Sir Alex’s advice, hedged my bets, and so will come out ok.

EL Er, Jag, I mean about MASA.

MOON Well, why didn’t you say so for God’s sake, you berk!! Of course, that’s where the whole problem started. We didn’t have Sir Alex on MASA’s Board of Directors. Otherwise, we could have understood how this hedging worked, and squared our exposure to fuel price hikes, the sole and only cause of our huge losses. If anyone says it is due to overstaffing, old fogeys gaji buta on the Board, poor management & marketing etc., I will not hesitate to have them arrested under the OSIBISA (Official Secrets, Intelligence, Banking and Internal Security Act)

EL Surely, your Board should have been aware of the situation much earlier from the monthly Management accounts and reports? Early warning systems?

MOON Although Moh Nomore, ex-MASA MD and his committee had said in 2003 that that revamp was the best ever and final one, we regret to announce that it is not so. We will have to withdraw that entry from the Genius Book of Records. The `Old Guard’ committee forgot to hedge against aviation fuel price rise, which slight oversight has resulted in massive losses. You know that old saying ‘a camel is a horse invented by a committee’.

Anyway, a totally independent internal investigation reveals that for sure no one is to be blamed, and the sudden resignation and departure of MASA’s CEO yesterday has no bearing on the issue. Any politicization of the issue will result in a RM 100 billion law suit by MASA and arrests under the OSIBISA.

EL But, we were told that the previous CEO was a HavOxBridge triple degree graduate who was capable of wonders. What happened there? Anyway, weren’t you part of the ‘Old Guard’?

MOON He is still capable of doing wonders at his new CEO position at a GLC. He has wonderful knowledge of management and airlines business, now. We were thinking of sending him on a Phd course to the Karl Icahn Institute of Aviation in U.S.A. A little too much too late. Anyway, I was non-exec Chairman, the CEO is responsible for losses.

EL So Jag, what’s next?

MOON Firstly a committee under me will manage the corporate affairs for a while. The Board has moved with blinding speed, and successfully appointed Kapit Sawit, from the East, as the new CEO of MASA. Kapit who is reputed to be a turn-around specialist had risen to the highest echelons in MNC, Michelle Petrogas.

He is the nation’s answer and most logical choice to MASA turning in a decent profit. No doubt Kapit has zero knowledge of the aviation industry, but this should not be held against him. I, as non-exec Chairman will assist him forev.., er, no, for a while, till we have turned the corner.

Together with my new Jaguar, er, no, I mean new CEO, we will soar ever upwards and pilot MASA to new heights in profitability, go boldly where no woman has gone before, to infinity and beyond, and further and …..a woman’s reach should grasp a man’s excess, or else what’s a heaven for?

EL What about the rumours that Founding partner, CEO and Chief Baggage Handler of low cost carrier, Certified Helluva Experience Aero Planes (CHEAP) airlines, Antonio Bassanio Fredo Manfredo (popularly as Freddy Laker), has been asked to take over MASA, with him as its Managing Director.

MOON No rumour to the truth at all. It’s not the right time for CHEAP to take over MASA. Besides the Bum…, er no, the people as a whole are genuinely not ready yet for a Kottai Indian to run MASA. Yes, we are all equal, and we strictly adhere to the Premier’s policy of meritocracy. But some are more equal and meritocraceous than others.

We are also planning for the nation to be a regional hub for aviation, given our expertise in loss.., er, no, lots of flying around. So, no room for CHEAP stunts. By the way do you know the difference between a circus artiste juggling 6 balls and Marilyn Monroe? No? The first is a cunning stunt….’

Anyway, I need to go now to the washoom, must be that roti jala I had this morning, doesn’t seem to agree with me at all. You know, my mother always said, ‘Moonira yang, stick to roti chanai and dalcha for breakfast and you won’t go wrong.’ Should have remembered that!!

STOP PRESS

New MASA CEO, Kapit Sawit, who admits his favourite food is, yes, it’s true, roti jala, and who hails from a small village of over-achievers from the East said Monday, `There is no rumour to the truth that I am a Christian, and that pressure had been exerted on all national and regional newspapers to voluntarily blank out this politically insignificant fact. Please do not politicize political issues, even if they are of a political nature – this is the true national way,’ he pleaded.

STOP STOP PRESS

CHEAP airlines CEO Freddy Laker said Monday from Bali that he was happy where he was with CHEAP, and could wait till MASA’s net worth collapsed to $ 1, and pick up the whole company for a song `Fly Me To The Moon For $ 2 ’. Except I need to consult MASA’s previous owners to find out how to buy MASA for 200% financing, and then sell it back for $ 10 per share, when the market price is $ 5, and make a killing. This, believe me, is true genius and entrepreneurialship!!

Freddy also dismissed as the work of luddites, communists and Zionist, complaints published in on-line newspaper,
malaysiasoros@.con of frequent delays and cancellations of CHEAP flights. ’Our track record speaks for itself, just ask those thousands lying around on the floor of our airport waiting lounges.’

donplaypuks® with me ma'am!!*****************************************************************************************************************