FREE 3RD DEGREE FOR ALL AT BLOGGERS R US!

by the three degrees, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondents for 3rd degree affairs

(The Three Degrees music videos - see below).

   Three Degrees - When Will I See You Again

 Three Degrees - Falling In Love With Love Again                                       

The products of our globally no.1 MsEjjucashion System are evident everywhere in 1 3rd Degree Bolihland. So, Donplaypuks® sent out his cybersleuths and media con-sultants to gather evidence that we have some of the best degree holders ever and to get quotable quotes from them to prove they are worth more than mere paper and are capable of inspiring us to greater heights.

Here are a few gems. Have a good laugh, for laughter is the best medicine, ever!


MSM & OTHERS

BUMNO/BN at partiskimskimalibabagajibutacepatkaya@btnketuanan.gov.con.my
Only our $43 billion PTPTN write-off and BTN sponsored ketuanan degrees shall be recognised. DAP degrees are not only not halal but are also anti-Islam, anti-Malay, anti-Royalty, anti-Police, anti-MACC, anti-Judiciary and pro-China and Singapore colonisation. This is racialism as approved by Maha Firaun, but not racism or bigotry. Hooray! 

M China Ally at chairmanredmao@beijing.conmmunism

No need degree loh! Just memorise the Little Red Ah Long's Book and Dr.M’s masterpiece non-fiction novel ‘Ali Baba And The 400 Thieves.’ Vote wisely. 

M Indian Circus at weavewigs@velu.tamilnadu.yindia.con

Yeducashion degreeing? Not needing yet yall.  No cash dere. Get scrotum pouch licking and testicle carrying degree from MAIMS U (Mamauncle Advanced Institute of Madhoff Schemes University). We teaching what they don’t teaching at Havud, Oxford and Cambridge – the 3 books of yaccounting hocusing pocusing book-keeping systeming. Isn’t it? Vote wisely. 

Buntutsan Newspaper at bangkitpemegangijazah@buntutsan.toiletpaper.con

Don’t feel insulted (i.e. ultra vires) to rise and claim your birthright social contract brainwashed BTN degree/ijazah. The less you know, the better. Let I Ali, Robotfrog and Perkosong liberate you with ignorance and bigotry. Vote wisely. 

WCW Jalan Alor Setar Newspaper at wcwjlnalorsetar@toiletpaper.con

Don’t feel insulted (i.e. ultra vires) to rise and claim your birthright social contract brainwashed BTN degree. The less you know, the better. Let Buntutsan, I Ali, Robotfrog and Perkosong liberate you with ignorance and bigotry. Vote wisely. 

New State Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, Thighimes Dishrag Newspaper at nstthaithighs@toiletpaper.con

Don’t feel insulted (i.e. ultra vires) to rise and claim your birthright social contract brainwashed BTN degree. The less you know, the better. Let Buntutsan, I Ali, Robotfrog and Perkosong liberate you with ignorance and bigotry. Vote wisely. 

Mal Association for Cows & C.Arse at gohchengpoh-a.k.a.-tengkugoh@08gang.net

NFA! The degree of guilt can only be ascertained by the quality of the investigation. It's not our job to find proof. We always give suspects the benefit of the doubt with the third degree. TBH? It was voluntary suicide. We have 100% ascertained there is no criminality involved. Ask I Raja Polis. Vote wisely. 

I Raja Polis ans I Polis Raja at gohchengpoh-a.k.a.-tengkugoh@08gang.net

NFA! The degree of guilt can only be ascertained by the quality of the investigation. It's not our job to find proof. We always give suspects the benefit of the doubt with the third degree. It was water in Kugan’s lungs. We have 100% ascertained there is no criminality involved. Ask Mal Association of Cows & C.Arse. Vote wisely. 

AG at gohchengpoh-a.k.a.-tengkugoh@08gang.net

NFA! The degree of guilt can only be ascertained by the quality of the investigation. It's not my job to find proof. I always give suspects the benefit of the doubt with the third degree. Ask I Raja Polis and Mal Association of Cows & C.Arse. Vote wisely. 

Ambassador TO USA at 1Cigar@rabaraba.comequick.washingtondc

It’s not the engineering degree or the cigar. It’s who smokes it for you and how you “settle” the bill for a hundred thousand smackeroos! Vote wisely. 

AR Baginda at OxconsubmarinesPhD@$540million.scorepenisconjob.net.mongolia

Pak Lah you die lah! You only have local Islamic Studies and Sleeping Degree. I also have sleeping degree. More than that, I have PhD in Internal and International Sleeping Relations with Altantuya. That’s glocally recognised! 

I Ali, Robotfrog at jumpingfrogs@messcommdegree.con

I got degree in mess comm. So, that’s mean don’t messing wis me, kan? And don’t Bersih 3 with that anti-Christ, anti-Muslim, anti-Malay, anti-anti bloody woman, ok? Or else, I may blow 67% of my top! 

KJ at silhairyplotter@oxcon.punb.myfatherinlaw.zzzzzzz

You don’t need any degree. You only need a father-in-law with big cables in Telekom, Tenaga, Pantai Hospital, Maybebank, alibaba nominee at Pathos Consulting and telephone number for Temasick Sovereign Fund. You can become an instant unemployable most eligible millionaire with a single phone call and a few strokes of the pen. Work smart, not study hard.

 MInsider at kali&mullah@badawiconeheads.sleep.com

I haven’t the slightest degree of ownership interest in MI. if anyone says so, I will sue for $50 million. I said nothing defamatory. I will not apologise to Maha Firaun or Matthias Chang. Ok, I will. ZZZZ. 

MKini at mkini@gsoros.con

Subscribe to our online portal and earn a degree in Zionism, how to gamble on the forex market, short sell currencies and bankrupt South East Asian economies. Meet our international con-sultant apanama Maha Firaun Dr.M and his faithless $30 billion forex assistant, Nor Mohd. Robocop (see below). 

MuhyAmatDopeyDin (MADD) DPM at jibberishforall@msejjucashion.gov.con.my

My degree in Isam comes first, then my degree in Malay and then only my 1 Bolihlander degree. You have cash, then we have MsEjjucashion degree for you. No cash, then we have $43 billion of unserviced PTPTN gormen loan scheming degree for you. You wan? 

Nor Mohd Robocop at $30billionforexcon@econsplunderingunit.bnm.gov.con.my

A mere degree in economics will not suffice. You must have a PhD in milking the system and making cheese. You must know how to steal and move $30 billion of cheese before someone else does. Guess who was the PM then? All these things happened. So let it be written, so let it be done. 

Pandikar Amin Wan Kiandee at neuteredeunuchballscarriers@zoohouse.gov.con.my
If it's a Minority Report or Opposition degree, then 100% cannot. If it's a $10.1 billion Supplementary Government Overspending Degree without any explanations or details, then always can. In the end, it's my decree that counts, not your degree! 

Roti Jala & Dalcha at

 1PemanduGoondu@$1TrillionApcotIsraelgajibutaspindoctorjob.con

We cannot continue subsidising MsEjjucashion and degrees. We have to introduce compulsory 10% Goods & Services Tax Treasure (GST) and 10% National Health Tax Con-tribution because the government has difficulty paying my $100K per month salary, which is 5 times the PM’s basic salary. 

1 Rosemajib at flomflopflocu$74millionjacobsnydiamondring@birkin.crony.gov.con.my

Get a no-strings attached, no accountability, no transparency $105 million grant from taxpayers and earn honorary FLOM (First Lady of Mongolia) and FLOP (First Lady of Putrajaya) degrees from FLOCU First Lady of Curtin Uni. 

Saiful at footballteamlonglifedna@kyjelly.levisjeans.unclepet.gov.con.my
I went to see the PM and her husband about a scholarship for a Talikom degree course I had dropped out of. The PM later lied about it, twice. The rest as they say, is the football team's history.

BLOGGERS & PRETENDERS

Big Dog at K9@$13billionminusmasringgitdoghouserambleson.bloghouse.gov.con.my

It’s not the university degree there’s important. It’s the degree of frequent flier mileage points you accumulate under AA-MAS “family member discount” 10% fares subsidy you get that’s important. How else you thinks I cans afford go has lunch with RPK in London? Don’t tell the AA-MAS Unions, yah, please!

Che Det at http:chedet.cc/blog/ and also at apanamai4getselectively.petronas.proton@1motherofalldilemmas.bumi.gov.con.my

The apanama Malays forget easily! Once, only I had a foreign university medical degree from the land on the other side of the Causeway - no, not India. Now many Malays have degrees. Once we had no chinese DAP. Now we have chinese DAP. They will rob the Malays of their degrees, land, religion, king, 30% ytl, ak, vince baby and side mokh alibaba billion $ contracts money and country. That's racialism, but not racial. We must take everything back by slow degrees. Najib's 1 Bolihland is on the right track and working out stupendously well - for Mukhriz. Way to go, Jibby!

Din Merican the DJ blogger at learnbymistakes@dr.kamsiah.wife.nag.loveit.my

Forget the degree! Here's the week-end entertainment from dinobean, clfamiliaris, phua kai lit, mr.bean, reeperbahn, danilaud, tok cik, abnizar, mak cik, kathy, didi and the gang. 

Jebat Must Died? at hangtuahischinese@profemerituskkk.nohistory.con

Yes, it’s true UMNO/MCA/MIC have been in power as the federal government since 1957 and formulated and implemented the national education and vernacular schools policy 100% with taxpayers’ money. But, it’s all the racist DAP (who have never formed the federal government) and Long John Dong Zong’s fault to a degree. Certainly not MCA or MIC or UMNO’s fault. We must only write “true facts” in our history books. All the “false facts” in our history books approved by UMNO/MCA/MIC since 1957 – it’s all also the racist DAP’s fault. This is the true truth. 

MAGIC RIVER at http://www.magickriver.org/

Get a degree from nature. Live with nature and learn from the real Orang Asal/Orang Asli. Fuck Jibby! 

OutSyed D Masjid India Gold Sukuk Shop Box at OTB@houseofsaud.goldsukukbox.bloghouse.gov.con.my

To a great degree, it’s all the fault of the Arabs in Bukit Bintang. Guess who was the PM at that time? All these things happened. So let it be written, so let it be done. By order of ‘The Club of Holy Book Doom.’ 

Parpukari & Dalcha at housepkrotichanaibelumselesai@mahafiraun.con

Gempar the Degree man! Where’s the PANAS KFC chicken skin lard food? Gempar the KFC! Where’s the Nasional Feednotalot Corp $180 a kilo condo beef steak? Gempar the condo beef steak… 

Peoples Parliament at lawbreakerslawmakers@ http://harismibrahim.wordpress.com/
Get an internationally recognised degree from Anak Bangsa Uni. No, try Uni of Barisan Rakyat or Pakatan Rakyat or KITA or MCLM or Zaid or Third Force or ABU. Just get a degree. Uni of RPK? Let me think about it.

Rocky's Mole Brew at bumnobnpressclub@$10millionIwish.bloghouse.gov.con.my
$10 million for a BMW degree? No way, hose. I wish. We only wanted to to give the Sleeping PM a send off of the highest degree as Adviser to Mana Ada Sistem Airlines. Now where do we put the soon to "retire" Rosemajib? Petronas, MASA, Sime Darby, Proton, Maybank - they are all full up with former PM's and DPM's as "advisers". Ambassador to Mongolia or Curtin Uni perhaps?

Rights2Write at believenothing@.dr.commonsense.com.ampang

Those with degrees must comment sensibly or else I will close down my blog, again, and again. And again. Have you heard the joke about the two soldiers in the jungle? One says in his walkie-talkie 'This is 1 Melayu. Who is that on the line?" The reply comes back, "This is 10 Punjabi Sikhs. What do you want? Hockey Stick or bar of Lux Soap for the shower? Payment? Belakang kira, woi!" Lol! 

RPK at reliablyinformedjohnsohSD@manchesteryacht.com.uk

Malaysia yesterday, Manchester today. I am reliably informed by PI Bala, the supersleuth private dick, that I am reading for an Oxcam Sun Tzu Tai Chi degree myself. If everyone hates me, then I have earned my degree. 

SakmongkolAK47 at muaythai@russian.challengeeveryassumption.com

It’s a 180-degree political u-turn of course. But the truth must prevail. Better DAP  than the party and PM to which serially lying has become second nature (keperangaian kedua), i.e. Rosemajib and BUMNO. I am not related to Steadtaku47 or AK - Ananada Krishnan.

uppercaise at LoWeRcAiSe@retiredjournosdontpanic.com.my
Is it 'DEGREE' or 'degree'? Find out at Selangor Times at http://www.scribd.com/doc/88366576/Selangor-Times-April-5#fullscreen. 
 

BumBSspinners at ravellingspinsandlies@pusinggasing.bloghouse.gov.con.my

Truth is not important. What is important is you support Buntutsan, Perkosong and boikot (language makhluk mana ini?) Mkini which is anti-Malay and anti-Muslim because they criticise the PM and government even and especially if they spin and lie. How unfair and bigoted of them!

Steadyaku47 at somewheredownunder@idreamofthingsthatneverwereandaskwhynot?.com.au
I have an Oz degree. What do you have and wgaf about your give-away watered down degree in Bolihland anyway? And make no mistake. I am not RPK and no relation to SakmongkolAK47 or AK- Ananada Krishnan.
 

Zorro-Unmasked at anythingsweptunderdcarpet@dondiego.com.bahamas

If it’s 3%-12% proof, that’s beer degree. If it’s > 20% proof, that’s black label degree. Lol! Anything less, it’s time to throw the power-drunk BUMNO/BN government out on its ears. ABU.

Donplaypuks® with our degrees, man!

1 TOILET, MANY SYSTERNS!

OR that oh so sweet burning sensation

by jack and jill, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondents for No.1 & 2 affairs. (Systern - a new manglish word derived from system + cistern, meaning a dysfunctional system that stinks to high heaven!). (click on pics for enlarged view.

all pics unashamedly lifted from www without payment). It was a week when PM 6-Star General (Retd) Rosemajib was too bogged down with budgetary concerns to announce yet another much awaited ‘1... something’ to galvanize national unity. As much awaited as another bout of swine, bovine or avian induced pandemic flu or virus! But the poor nation was not spared any relief as certain “Educationists”, venerated as “Playboy centrefold enthusiasts” and “Captains of Industry”, celebrated as “Glocal Fraudtrepreneurs”, sprung up like the malodorous waftings from the bucket system jambans of yore sneaking up on unsuspecting brilliantly planned and aligned downwind constructed housing estates, to fill in the much desired vacuum.

Even as the national education systern lay in tatters, these Educationists (Playboy centerfold enthusiasts) had surfaced from deep within the bowels of the Ministry of Education and with pin point accuracy identified the real cause of deteriorating academic standards, performances and polarisation in schools and institutions of higher learning! It was boldly declared that the indisputable primary cause of 40 years of decline of the New Education Systern (a new Genius Book of Records entry) was that headpersons, teachers and students were introduced too early to separate streaming practices. They were prematurely pressed onto to the creaking tiles of a systern that could not cope with the steamy wanton deposit of such youthful human wastage and exertions! National disunity was in array; wrongly engendered by having ‘His” and ‘Her” toilet systerns.

Chief spokesperson for the ‘1 Nation, 1 Systern’ movement, Dr. John Mary Shanks (PhD in Anal Retention and Pileates Techniques) was hopeful the nation would accommode this new initiative of 1 common toilet systern for all sexes, staff and students in schools, colleges and universities.

He gushed that previously elitist male members would now have the tools, avenues, locations and opportunities to breach the gaps that now exists with female students and that divides headpersons, teachers and students, for all time, i.e. the “crap trap amber stream claptrap” mindset would be flushed away down the toilet tubes forever.

However, moon faced Ustaz Saddam Ahmadinejad Obasama from Jalan Tandas, PJ, put the proverbial spanner in the works before the Minister of Education could pass motion in Parliament, by observing that the matter would have to be re-examined by the religious authorities vis-a-vis close proximity among the sexes rules!

Elsewhere, 1Nation champion, PM 6-Star General (Retd) Rosemajib informed the nation from the majestic Sri Kakus hotel:

"We have a Master Plan in the pipeline. We have oreddy placed a man on the big job. It shall be none other than Gen (ret'd) Dato Bloo Boy, who will head a Super Quango Toilet Task Force with a $ billion budget. Dato BB also brings with him many years of seat warming as Chairman of SPLAT Ltd. (Standard Patents for Latrines for Army Training ). He shall be ably assisted by our very own Datin Chew May Dove Dettol from the MsEconomicPlanningUnit@gov.con . Datin, formerly Chief Operating Officer of SLASH Plc (Standard Latrines and Automated Shit Houses) has a certified E@cons PhD scroll and brings with her loads and buckets of experience in General Education AND solid & liquid waste systerns! We shall leave no chain unpulled, stool unseated or tissue unrecycled to get to the bottom of the problem! All deposits will be fully guaranteed by our Central Bank and MoF! The full report will be out by the later of 2020 and the Mars manned landing!"

3 ORANGE = 1 APPLES, WHOA MATRIX MATHS, MAN!

INTERVIEW WITH THE JEDI MASTER PLANNER OF THE REALM FOR JEDI LIGHT SABRE KRISIS & HIGHER, LOWER AND ANY OTHER IN-BETWEEN LEVELS OF LEARNING, LATOK HUSSAIN ALAKAZAM HASHIM ALAKAZOOM POPULARLY KNOWN AS LORD HA HA (LHH)

By Asha Labax Lorraine Osman Khan (ALLOK), donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for Learning Affairs

ALLOK Welcome to Astral TV Master, you are looking rather well, all ok.

LHH Yes, all ok. Ha ha, thank you, you’re not too bad looking yourself. So, fire away.

ALLOK Well Master, there seems to be a controversy every year about Scholarships, local and overseas, and allocation of students’ places in the Universities and Institutions of Tertiary Learning, and this year seems to be no different. What do you have to say?

LHH Ha ha, no controversy, no problem. These complaints are the work of mischievous Communist and Zionist trouble makers.

ALLOK There have been accusations that many scholarships, especially to prestigious universities in advanced western countries, for courses in medicine, pharmacy, engineering, law, bio-tech etc, are awarded to children of the Haves, who are not income means-tested, to those who secure much lower number of A's and even to those who secured Grade 2 and 3.

LHH The selection and award process is actually very methodical, rigorous, transparent and fair, but they are covered by OSIBISA (Official Secrets, Intelligence, Banking and Internal Security Act), so, ha, ha, I cannot talk about it publicly.

ALLOK How about the fact that many students with better grades than their fellow ‘more equal’ counterparts, are unable to secure scholarships and/or places for medicine, law and engineering, and the situation is resolved every year only after intervention by the Complaints Bureau of CHARSIU (Chinese Heavenly Association for Race, Sincerity, Integrity and Unity)?

LHH There is no real issue. No official protest or demonstration. The situation has been resolved now, ha, ha.

ALLOK We have received numerous letters from very, very disturbed students who claim that the practice and principle of equating arbitrarily The Matrix Exam Grades with The A-Level Grades is seriously flawed. The so-called 3 orange = 1 apples selection formula applied by you. After all, the Matrix Exam unlike the A-Level, is a local exam for selected students only, and rumours are that the students are very heavily coached before the exams.

LHH These are scurrilous attacks upon the integrity of good people. I deign to answer this racially-motivated, slanderous, defamatory and cowardly filth. Do not make me take a Jedi stance and draw out my Jedi Light Sabre Krisis and wave it about menacingly!!

ALLOK Still Master, what about the 3 orange= 1 apples formula, surely this must be defended?

LHH Ha ha, this is sheer nonsense. Look, it has been mathematically proven that this formula is correct. Let me demonstrate:-

The proposition is 'The Matrix vs A-Level, 3 orange = 1 apples.'

PROOF BY MADDAYA PROFESSOR OF NEWTONIAN CHAIR OF MATHEMATICS AT THE MATRIX UNIVERSITY, PROF ANDRESSON NEO THE ONE

Number of letters in `orange’ = 6 x 3 orange = 18
Number of letters in `apples’ = 6 x 1 apples = 6
Orange/Apples = 18/6 = 3

Therefore 3 orange = 1 apples. QED.

ALLOK Wellll, ha, ha, that’s certainly a novel and interesting approach Master, so let’s take a break while I recover. I feel faint and vomitous.

INTERVIEW TERMINATED PREMATURELY

donplaypuks® with my education man!!

MANGLISH TO ENGLISH 1.01? 70% OF MALAYSIAN ENGLISH TEACHERS NOT FIT TO TEACH!

"70% Of English Teachers Not Fit To Teach!" M2DAY 

CLICK HERE

by prof henry higgins doolittle, Donplaypuks®intrepid correspondence for manglish affairS 

 

ONE FINE MORNING AT SM SUBANG PASU (SECONDARY SCHOOL) AT 8 A.M.

Good morning, everyone.

Good morning,Teacher.

We’ll let’s begin today, the first day of school, with English 1.01, which you must master if our nation is to achieve its target for Information & Computer Technology (ICT) by 2020. We have to start anew. Forget what you learnt in the past.

For today, we will go through some very basic ‘do’s and dont’s. Then, to complete the course, over the next six months, we will start tomorrow with foundation work, i.e. bricks and mortar stuff – grammar - and move on to punctuation, sentence construction, pronunciation, conversations, essays and precis.

(All) Yes, teacher.

Let’s start with Verb/ Adverb and Noun/Adjective. A verb indicates some form an action and an adverb the type of action e.g. He was driving fast. `Driving’ is the verb and ‘fast’ the adverb.

Similarly a noun describes an object, person or thing and an adjective describes the noun e.g. ‘This is a red ball.’ Ball’ is the noun and ‘red’ is the adjective.

(All) Verb/Ad….’

Now, repeat after me ‘e’ before ‘i’, except when ‘c’ comes first.’

(All) ‘e before i…..’

Good. That’s why it’s ‘achieve’ when c comes first, but ‘neither’, when there’s no c.

Also, remember the either/or and neither/nor rule. E.g. ‘Neither he nor his friend skipped school.’ Or ‘You should use either plastic or plain brown paper for your text-book covers.’

Repeat after me.

(All) ‘Either/or and …….’

Excellent! Now, especially, Indians. The phrase ‘isn’t it’ only applies to sentences which start with ‘It’ in the form of a question, e.g. ‘It is true that you were absent, isn’t it?’ ‘Isn’t it ‘ and ‘is it’ are not a phrases to be attached universally to any and every sentence which is a question, UNDERSTAND!!

(All) Yes, teacher.

‘Isn’t it’ cannot be used in ANY of the following types of sentences:-

‘You were going home, isn’t it?’ - WRONG!! Since ‘were’ is past tense, the question should be ‘weren’t you?’

‘Lingam was going to make a phone call , isn’t it?’ - WRONG!! Since ‘was going’ is past continuous tense - the question should be ‘wasn’t he?’

‘The children will be playing football, isn’t it?’ - WRONG!! Since ‘will be playing’ is future tense - the question should be ‘won’t they?’

‘You think I am a trolley-dolly, is it?’ – WRONG!! You think I am a trolley-dolly, do you?’

Understand? Please repeat after me.

(All) Excellent! Now especially Ind…….

Now, the Chinese. You cannot include the word ‘one’ wherever you like in a sentence e.g. ‘I wish to deposit some cash in my bank account one.’ Or, ‘Why you so like that one?’ or ‘When you talk like that one, I don’t know what to say one. ’The word ‘one’ should be left out completely in these instances.

Also, get this right!! ‘Rai’, ‘Latok’, ‘Can I lend your badminton racket’ or ‘Eh, borrow me your pencil’ should be Right. Dato. Can I borrow your badminton racket. Eh, lend me your pencil.

Also, you should pronounce these words properly – It is ‘try’ not ‘tchai’, ‘special’ not ‘specer’, ‘die’ not ‘dieded’. Tiew Bor? Repeat after me!!

(All) Tiu…..

Now, the Malays – Wis, Lah, Kan, Steady-lah brudder, Jom – these have no place in English language. Do not drop d, t and s at the end of words e.g. ‘comment, not commen,’ ‘experiment, not experimen’ ‘defence, not defen, ‘depend, not depen.’

It is ‘with’ not ‘wis.’ It is 'that means' not 'that's means.'

Now all repeat after me, ‘The following Malay and Chinese words may not be included anywhere in an English sentence, in speech or in writing –, Alamak, Adoi, Shiok, Leh, Mah, Lor and Kaninawi. E.g ‘Come over to my house, lah’ or ‘Adoi, what happened to your face?’ or “When you buy that T-shirt you get another one free lor ’ or ‘I went to pay the bills, mah!’ or ‘Kaninawi, what did you call my father?’ or ‘This ice cream, very the shiok one.’

(All) ‘Now, esp….Malays…..’

Good. Next, repeat after me, ‘it is ‘Total’ not ‘Thothal’, ‘Tomato’ not Thomatho.’ Similarly, ‘better’ not ‘betther’ etc. etc In English there is no silent ‘h’ after the letter ‘T’ or ‘C.’ In particular, for proper nouns, e.g. if a person’s name is Chandran, you may not spell or pronounce it ‘Candran,’ or spell it as ‘Cina’ when you mean the country ‘ China.’. Don’t pronounce ‘Canada’ as Chanada. It should be ‘Chit Chat’ not ‘Cit Cat.’

(All) ‘It is Total not Th…..’

Good. Now repeat after me, ‘There are no such things as ‘American English’ or ‘Microsoft English.’ Hence, it is ‘nationalise, not ‘nationalize’. criticise not criticize, demonise not demonize, neighbour, not neighbor, rumour not rumor.

(All) There is no such thing as Am….

Good. Now for some major pronunciation errors by local TV newsreaders and those from a neighbouring unknown country across the causeway. Repeat after me,’Some capitals of countries in Asia are,’ Tokyo not Thokyoh, Jakarta not Jicarter, Taipeh not Thighpay, New Delhi not New Del Hee.’

(All) Some capitals of……

Good. That is all for today. For homework, to be passed up Wednesday, please complete Exercise 1 – 3 in your English Reader for Idi… er… no, Beginners.

That’s all for now Teachers. There’s a long way to go, another six months at least, before I let you loose on Secondary 1 students.

(All) Thank you, Teacher Trainer!!

dontchplaypuks® with my english man!!