THE NEXT GOVERNMENT.

BARISAN RAKYAT SHALL FORM THE NEXT GOVERNMENT!

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nation in distress

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WE ARE ALL OF 1 RACE, THE HUMAN RACE.


26/09/2008

FLIP FLOPS FROM FOURTH FLOOR - Part 1

or the hand that rocks the cradle

by wcw turncoat, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for palace of the successful prince affairs







Knock! Knock!Who's there?
Me.
Come in. Ah, good morning dad.
PIH If I told you once, I told you a thousand times Cassius Sil aka Hairy Plotter the Silly, it's Pak Imam Hadhari and don call me dad.
Sil Well, PIH, what can I do you for? What's happening? What's the plan? What's the stragedy?
PIH We have your men everywhere. But that American at Nasional Petroleum is holding out. We have a foot in Nasional Treasure. However, the bloggers have alerted the whole World and so we may have to re-stragedise.
Sil Cant' we get that American at NP to resign and go quietly? Nothing in our SB little black book?
PIH No, SB and even MI have nothing on him. He's squeaky clean.
Sil Well, can't you stage-manage a few more Mohd ISA episodes. Get Magoo No Bianca from Home Science Office over will you and also this time inform I Raja Polis and I Polis Raja in advance that they are going to be the whipping boys again and that we are going to sodomise their reputation again.
PIH Good idea.
Sil That's cool. And what about this earlier than early retirement proposal? Are you trying to sabotage my plans? And that has-been Gang of 4, where did that come from?
PIH No, no. Of course not. I have to think of my daughter. They were instigated by Firaun and their front-man Grumpymopeydopeydin. But don worry. I'll delay Firaun's re-entry. He cannot use our party membership forms like toilet paper and expect to flush us down with it.
Sil Good. And that poisoned chalice we gave Rosemajibbed to move over to MoM (Ministry of Money). Any trouble there?
PIH No, he grabbed it with both hands. I sold him all that jazz about the Genghiz Khan Mongolian invasion case blowing up in his face and that $500 mil scandal over administration and facilitation contract for Baginda Perimeter Sdn. Bhd. Told him to distance himself from the Ministry of War. He fell for it like a ton of bricks.
Sil Well, now you can talk to Bush about selling us 1 of their $bil Stealth Planes. Start the ball rolling. And get the Energy boys going on that $10 bil nuclear power station. There's $ bil's to bilk there. Got it? Pay attention and don nod off? That will be all for today!
PIH Sure. But how about a break for the fasting season?
Sil Not now. We have too many fires to fight. And I did say that's all for now?
PIH Sorry. Thank you. Bye.
.......................................................................................
Knock! Knock!
Whose there?
Me?
Come in. Ah, Good morning Rosemajibbed.
Rose If I told you once, I told you a thousand times. It's Commander In Chief Rosemajibbed to you, dammit. Tenn Hutt. Stand to attention in my presence and address me as 'Sir.'
Sil Sit down Rose. You are not in charge of the Ministry of War anymore. So, what's happening? What's the plan? What's the stragedy?
Rose Hold on young fellar! I only took over from MoM yesterday. I need at least a week to get a firm grip on things at MoM. They have scheduled a meeting in a resort at a nearby country in this region to throughly review PIH's budget and development stragedies. You know, we need to get away from all the politics so we can really think creatively.
Sil Oh! Where exactly? Why wasn't I informed? How many?
Rose Ge(cough, cough)ne(cough,cough)va(cough, cough). One(cough,cough)hund(cough,cough)red strong delegation.
Sil Wives included, with a stop-over at Oxford St & Harrods to study latest retail trends in the London region, I suppose?
Rose Yes, my No.2, Forexloosecannon has organised it all, you know, the genius ex-forex trader who hit Nat Central Bang for $6 bil consecutive sixes? You joining us?
Sil Yes, include me out. I'm too busy with transition plans.
Rose What transition plans? Shouldn't you discuss it with me since PIH has nominated me as the Alibabaji-elect to succeed him in 2010 or (cough,cough) God(cough,cough) willing early..mbfxlas!
Sil What? Don't mumble. Squeak up will you as trained by Firaun.
Rose Transition plans.
Sil Don worry about that. After all we agreed to save your ass over that Genghiz Khan Mongolian invasion. It's a done deal. You will be free by end of 31st October.
Rose That's wonderful. That's mean we can concentrate on party elections in December.
Sil Don worry about that. Just keep your nose clean and your wife on a tight leash. Comprendo?
Rose Oh sure. She just loves London & Geneva. And Italian leather leash!
Sil Well, that will be all for now. Dismissed!
Rose Tenn Hutt!
Sil Oh, stuff that crap. Just bugger off will you!
.......................................................................................
Knock!Knock!
Who's there?
Me.
Ah, Magoo Jagger No Bianca. Come in.
Magoo Look, if I told you once, I told you a thousand times. It's Side, not Magoo. And your joke about Bianca is getting old oreddy. After all it was a win-win result. So, can we be civil?
Sil Shut up, baldy. I'll call you what I like. Never in the history of human interourse has one Jedi Master Planner of The Realm screwed things up as much as you have in such a short time. Only you could have managed to move from being the most detested Master Planner for War to Master Planner for Embassies to being the most detested Master Planner for Home Science. You have done even better than Hercules. Zero to sub-zero to absolute zero in one leap.

And how was it win-win? They got the island and we got fcuking rocks smaller than your goolies. The Hells Angels sultan is after your arse, do you know? Anyway, what's happening? What's the plan. What's the stragedy?
Magoo Well, I have that Petra fellow Mohd ISA'd at Kamunting lock-up. Ha, ha!
Sil What's there to laugh at you fool! Only last week you said there would be no further Mohd ISA arrests. And then you back-track on it straight away? You have signed your own political death-warrant, do you realise that? Locking up a fellow Muslim during Ramadan. Do you have anything left in that skull of yours?
Magoo Just following the precedent set by your dad, PIH.
Sil Shut up, you idiot! He's not my dad and you'd better remember that if you don want to spend the holidays in Kamunting courtesy of Mohd. ISA!
Magoo You wouldn't dare!
Sil I don have to dare anything. I Raja Polis is after your corpulent butt for leaving them out to dry. They might lock you up 'for your own protection and safety' as it were!
Magoo You think? Maybe I should plan for a tour of maximum security lock-ups in the region - Guantanmo Bay, Alcatraz, Sin Sin in USA. A 200 strong delegation with wives and a stop-over at Paris, France to study latest trends in grape cultivation and other agricultural techniques.
Sil You'll be lucky if the USA gives you a Visa to allow you to visit your own home toilet! Just lie low and keep you motor-mouth shut and your signing finger up your anal-retentive bung. Dismissed!
Magoo Sorry. Bye.
.......................................................................................
Sil Good God! Is that 10 a.m. oreddy. Gosh that's a hard days work. Off now back home for a good cup of tea and nookie, er no, I mean cookie, er no I mean, biscuit. Er no, forgot. Nothing. Not even dog food. Must fast. If only the peasants knew how I have to slog for a living.
........................................................................................
Thus ends another strenuous, stressful day for the richest unemployed/unemployable man in the country.
..............................................................................................................
donplaypuks® with my palace of the successful prince , man!

7 comments:

masterwordsmith said...

DPP

Many thanks for this hilarious piece. My breakfast almost went through my nose when I was reading it. Amazed at how ur imagination and humor can lead to such a riot! I would not at all be surprised if this is all truly happening.
One small request: Please don't let us wait till Fridays cos I really want to know what happens next! But of course, it takes time to produce work of quality like yours.
Thanks again!

donplaypuks® said...

Flip-flop, Excerpts from Mi and (not posted yet) Murmurs from Merchant Sq are part of a plannned trilogy which hopefully I will be able to bring to a logical apoalyptic hilarious conclusion.

That's the stragedy today. Tomorrow? Who knows? DSAI may (hopefully) render it all acacdemic as High Court judge Suraya Othman sais the other day! Then, I will have nothing to blog about. God, what will I do without BN & UMNO?

dpp

Purple Haze said...

Excelsior !

Patricia said...

Grumpymopeydopeydin!

OMG you are hilarious! How did you come up with that? I think it is a perfect picture of the man!

Cheers,

Pat

donplaypuks® said...

Hi Pat

Beware the man who never smiles like grumpymopeydopeydin or the one who smiles to much and has lean and hugry looks lke cassius sil aka hairy plotter the silly.

I have snow white, the imortal s'peare and rowling to thank for.

dpp

donplaypuks® said...

Purplehaze

do you have yr own blog so we can pay a visit?

what's yr real name. you can send me an email at za@donplaypuks.com

dpp

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