THE CHRONICLES OF FLOMFLOP KA' GROSSEMAH (Part 1) - Diamonds Are Forever, Life's Not!

koh hi noor peacock throne, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for all that glitters is not gold affairs

(From somewhere in a Bolihland standard 2-star but London standard 6-star hotel in Soho, London. London time 4 p.m. but Bolihland time 6 a.m. as truthfully reported by Buntutsan Phonetap News of The Apco World). 

FlomFlop Ka Grossemah (KG):  Yang, I oreddy woke up in the afternoon with a headache. That bloody Anglican Church woman. She's got some nerve presenting herself to us in yellow! You think Queen E is a Bersih spy out to topple our kingdom of Petaling Street by resurrecting Communism and Democracy? 

Rosemajib: Yes, we must sell that story when we get back home. 

FlomFlop KG: You think the peasant and coolies back home will buy that? 

Rosemajib: No they won't. But the spindoctoring is not meant for the peasants and coolies. They are too smart. They have internet, twitternet and tweetnet too. No, it's for those in our "heartland" and the boondocks where we have made sure the web has not penetrated and will not until the next GE is over. Buntutsan will have to work overtime. 

FlomFlop KG: So smart of you Yang. You're getting me all excited now. 

Rosemajib: Well, we have to make sure the natives don't get restless and excited, or else we're finished. 

DING DONG!

FlomFlop KG: Who dat at d door Yang? So, early in d day at 4 p.m.? 

Jeeves: It' me, Jeeves, your personal buttler. 

Rosemajib: Oh, I don't remember ordering any buttlers.

Jeeves: No, oh Great Sultan, I'm here with Jacob's. 

FlomFlop KG: Arrrrrrh! You brought d $74 million diamond ring here? Jom! Jacobs The Kosher Diamond Jeweller from Uzbekistan. Hebat, Yang. How you manage it? 

Jeeves: No, your Majesty. It's Jacob's Tinned Ginger Biscuits. Awfleh good for wind and flatulence. 

FlomFlop KG: Pe ni, Yang? You order Jacob Tin Ginger Biscuit? Biskut Halia? Who said I have win and flatulen? It's just a leeetle wee bit of gas. Dat's all oso make so much fuss! Jez get me what Princess Di used to take for upset tummy. 

Jeeves: Right away, your Highness!

(About half an hour later). 

DING DONG!

Jeeves: Ma'am, you will be honoured. Fortnum & Mason sent in the last bottle of their Princess Di special. 

FlomFlop KG: Botol? Apa tu? I thot Princess Di always took Darjeeling Tea to soothe her nerves, kan Jeeves? 

Jeeves: No your Royalty. Her 4 o'clock special with Captain James Hewitt and Dodi always started off with two stiff double shots. 

FlomFlop KG: Two stiff double shots of what? 

Rosemajib: Believe me my precious, you don't want to know. 

Jeeves: Oh, it's nothing like that, oh Maharaja. Just two swift shots of Royal Salute. 

FlomFlop: Royale Salute? You mean, must stand attention Jeeves?  Flag - full or half mast? 

Rosemajib: I told you my soul mate, you don't want to know. 

Jeeves: Nothing naughty, oh Great King. It was two stiff shots of 200% proof Royal Salute Special Whisky. 

FlomFlop KG: Royal Salute Special Whisky? You cracko or what Jeeves? Dat's absolut vodka haram! If not Darjeeling Tea Leaves specially airflown from India by 1Me Airforce, at least get me the expensive Titley's Tit Bags from Maidin 1Me store at cost price + 200%. Or even Boh Tea, at least got Oomph lah! 

Jeeves: You mean Tetley's Tea Bags from Tesco, dent yeoh? Right away, your Terrific Rex. 

Rosemajib: You calling my wife a dinosaur, Jeeves? 

Jeeves: Huh, oh Great Pharoah? 

FlomFlop KG: Never mind the Royal Salute Whisky and Darjeeling Tea, Jeeves. Just get me a dozen bottles of Derriere Mineral Water. 

Jeeves: You mean Perrier Mineral Water, dent yeoh, of Queen of The Nile, Nefertits? 

Rosemajib: Perrier, derriere, what's the difference? It all comes in expensive XXL oversized containers. Maybe you should just flush it out with a glass of 1Me Mamak Teh Tarik from Benteng in KL specially airflown in by 1Me Airforce, Yang? Or maybe nasi kandar and yesterday's rancid curry from Poo Kimma Restaurant in Penang?

FlomFlop KG: What Yang? You jokin at my expen? 

Rosemajib: No my Queen, surely not! Never!

FlomFlop: Aiyoh! I so thired thalkin this Jeeves and you. Yang, why don we go sailing on Thame River. Any news we can borrow dat $15 billion boat from Bobby Kok? 

Rosemajib: What $15 billion boat? What Kok talk is this?

FlomFlop KG: Aiyoh, you don read d Daily Mail one ah, Yang? So accurate and trutful like Buntutsan newspaper and News of The World. Everytink is there.

Rosemajib: But my Permaisuri, the News of The World bungkus oreddy, closed down by Rupert Murdoch! 

FlomFlop KG: Really? Goodness! Good newspapers don last long, do they? Never mine. Anyway I ped up with you and Jeeves. I call Joe How Low You Can Go and see his new $30 million dollar apartmen in downtown Manhattan and visit my fren Jacob The Kosher Diamond Jeweller from Uzbekistan. Yang, and don screw up this thime. Send in 1Me Airforce, not that high cost low service carrier Mana Ada Sistem Airline, please.

Rosemajib: Don knock it my Maharani. Apco has just started a new fantastic campaign by tying up Ministry of Information with Mana Ada Sistem Airlines. They have a brilliant new tag line:

NOW EVERYONE CAN LIE!

FlomFlop: And don forget dat $74 million diamond ring! I warning you. After all it's from my slaving account. Remember, diamonds are forever! 

Rosemajib: But, my Queen, you are not forever. 

FlomFlop KG: So what? Diamonds are a girl's best friend. 

Rosemajib: Just buy lah from Petaling Street. No one will know the difference between the original and original imitation, kan? 

FlomFlop KG: Jeeves, get me my lawyer and the CJ. Now! 

Donplaypuks® with the fake royalty, diamonds and $15 billion boats, man! 

NB
FlomFlop - First Lady of MongoliaFirst Lady of Putridjaya

TODAY I COMMITTED SUICIDE BECAUSE I WAS SO HAPPY!

by count dracula, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for voluntary suicide affairs

Today I committed suicide. 

Why? 

Because I was so happy.

Why else would I do it?

See, the plans were all in place. My wedding registration was scheduled for tomorrow. My beautiful wife-to-be is carrying our love-child. Our respect and affection for each other knows no bounds. My best man had arranged for a grand feast and celeberations with family, relatives and friends. Our respective parents had all wonderfully accepted our union proposal and the actual wedding would have taken place some six months hence.

So, I thought to myself, how shall I jubilate?

Then it struck me like a bolt of lightning!

Why, by committing suicide from the 15th Floor Office of Malaysian Association for Cows and Carse of course, silly!

Didn't you know, it's becoming a fashionable trend! Check it out :

here

and

 here 

and

here 

Try it out yourself. But first, get yourself fully insured. If your trial run turns fatal your family's loss might not be total.

Try it while singing and rocking to the tune of Elton John's 'Crocodile Rock' hit song:

I remember when suicide was fun, 
Me and Susie would take a run,
And holding hands, jump off together, 
From the top of the Malaysian Association for Cows and Carse Tower, 
Wah, wah wah wha wha wha....."

Justice James Foong, Arman the Bully, Ashraf the Abuser and Hishammuddin the Arrogant Lying "Leader", we shall be waiting with a big stick after the next General Elections when this repressive fascist regime shall be history. Then, we shall leave no one in doubt whether it was aggressive interrogation, bullying, lying, mere accident or brutal premeditated assault!

Don't for one second think that we will forget Kugan, Gunasegaran, Sarbaini, Sujatha and many others who succumbed in suspicious circumstances. No siree, we won't.

But, if in the meantime you feel like taking a headlong dive from the top of Petronas Tower, feel free; be my guest! The nation will thank you.

Donplaypuks® with royal commissions of inquiries, man!

WE ARE NOT AMUSED! ROYALLY SCREWED! THAT'S NOT CRICKET, WOT!

by shut the fcukup TAFKAPC (the artist formerly known as prince charles), Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for royals screwing affairs

Just a couple quick jokes. 

1.

Dolly Parton and Queen E die on the same day and meet St. Peter at the stairway to heaven. St.Peter tells them there's room for only one of them.

Dolly Parton rips off her blouse and shows her pectorals to St.Peter. 

"I've got the most perfect pair of breasts God ever made. I'm touched and shaped by divine hands. So, it should be me that's going to heaven.

Queen E whips out a bottle of Perrier, drinks half of it, empties the rest down the toilet and flushes it away.

St.Peter laughs and announces that Queen E gets to go to heaven, not Dolly Parton.

"What!" screams Dolly, "How's that fair?"

"Hello Dolly, I'm afraid a Royal Flush beats a Pair, no mater how good, any time, any day, hands down! Didn't you know that?" St. Peter declares.

2.

Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Rosemajib died & went straight to hell.

Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England. I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there. She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????

The devil said "Five million dollars." She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Bush was soooo jealous, he started screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too." He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????

The devil said "Ten million dollars." With a smug look on his face, he wrote a cheque and went back to sit on his chair.

Rosemajib was even more jealous & started screaming, "I want to call too. I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy. I wanna talk to everybody from Bumno and Buntutsan in Malaysia."

He called and he talked for about twenty hours. He talked & talked & talked, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you???? 

The devil said "Twenty dollars".
 

Rosemajib was stunned & said "Twenty dollars??? Only ??"

The devil said "Well, a call from one hell to another hell, it's local" 

Donplaypuks® with my yellow royal state visits, man!

PM NAJIB, RESIGN TODAY AND CALL FOR FRESH ELECTIONS. WE SHALL NOT TOLERATE A POLICE STATE 1 SECOND LONGER

or The Bersih 2.0 9th July 2011 Knockout Punch


Donplaypuks®, intrepid correspondent for forbidden (haram) marching clean (not dirty) affairs

I am angry. More than with anything or anybody else, I am angry with myself. I have for so long been warning everyone that unchecked Federalism and unchallenged UMNO/BN dominance will inevitably lead to a Police State. Few took it seriously. I did not press the panic button hard enough or become militant about it. And that's is my failure.


Now that a Police State has happened upon us, we like Pilate, wring our hands and moan and groan.


Who won on 9th July 2011 is not just relevant, it is of paramount importance. For when history is written and re-written in the years to come, Malaysians and the whole World shall know that many others and I today stood in the presence of GREATNESS which might not quite suffer or pale in comparison if placed alongside that of Mandela, King and Ghandhi.


Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Super Ambiga!


Daughter, woman, lady, wife, mother, lawyer, human, humane exemplary LEADER and God's child - Ambiga Sreenivasan.


She has burst upon us like a flaming comet from the Kuiper Belt, possibly heralding the birth of a bright new era in Malaysian politics.


She has arrived in a year when they just released a movie of one of my favourite childhood comic book heroes, The Green Lantern. You almost expect her like Hal Jordan/Green Lantern to whip out her Yellow Bersih 2.0 T-shirt and chant:

“In brightest day, in blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight.
Let those who worship evil’s might, Beware my power… Yellow T-shirt’s light!“ 

It does sound a bit corny, I admit. But Ambiga has an Indian ancestry too, and perhaps:

"Long nights ago, a tryst was made with destiny, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but substantially."

Today I marched with thousand who came not only from all over Kuala Lumpur, Selangor and its suburbs and boondocks but also from Trengganu, Kelantan, Penang, Perak, Melaka, Negeri Sembilan and Johor. Our brothers and sisters from Sarawak and Sabah did not fail us either. There were boys and girls, mothers and fathers and even grandfathers and grandmothers. Some even bravely brought their infant children along to bear witness to the historic occasion. There were mainly Malays and many Indians , Chinese and many Others.

The atmosphere was electric.

Not just the educated, the lawyers and activists and the comfortable or rich and well-connected were there. The baker, the butcher and the candlestick maker had trudged there too. There was even a man with leg in plaster cast hobbling about on crutches and Irene Fernandez in a wheelchair! One other major Ambiga supporter was there as well, keeping a low profile. We shall grant her her the anonymity she desired. All were seething with incandescent rage, all united by three main issues:

1. THE PRIME MINISTER LIED TO BERSIH AND THE NATION AND HE'S STILL IN OFFICE.

2. The police can dictate to our citizens what colour T-shirt they can wear? By what provision in OUR Constitution and Law do they presume to do that? How do they arrogate to themselves such powers and who approved it? What next? A fiat on bras, panties and underwear?

3. Our election system and rules need a major overhaul.

Simmering not far off was the fact that the King of Malaysia had been insulted by Ibrahim Ali questioning his actions in meeting Ambiga and hammering out a compromise and that PM Najib had not been sincere in offering a Stadium venue for Bersih  2.0's march while his cousin, Home Minister Hishamuddin Hussein threw in a technical 'pasang kaki' (leg trip) objection and refused to withdraw Bersih's gazetted outlaw status.

Faced with such blatant duplicity from the PM, Home Minister and The IGP and sledgehammer to fly tactics, the people decided enough was enough and to march, come hell or high water! 

This was a watershed peoples' march. On the day, there were no issues of race, religion or class. Although Prime Minister Najib Razak and frog Perkasa demagogue Ibrahim Ali had both demonised Ambiga and overplayed the race and religious (anti-Islam) card in the weeks preceding the historic Bersih 2.0 March of 9th July 2011, the people understood the real issues at hand.

Have no doubt. At the start of today, the distance between the Malaysia Government and its people was at its furthest it has ever been. Not even in 1969 was the nation more divided. At the end of the day, that distance had widened even further! 

We no longer trust Prime Minister Najib, his Cabinet, his Government or his administration. 

Make no mistake. What the authorities cruelly and unfairly meted out to our fellow citizens today was totally at the behest of Prime Minister Najib, Deputy PM Muhydin and Home Minister Hishamuddin Hussein (long dubbed Kerismudin). It is a degree of reprehensible high handedness that represents a new low in Malaysian rule by law and rule by fear regime.

They turned on water cannons and fired tear gas where none was called for at all. The crowd was excited and boisterous, but not vicious. Yet they were victimised and assaulted. But everyone refused to be cowed by cowardly intimidation tactics.

No Malaysian citizen buys this collective Cabinet cop out that the Inspector General of Police is to be blamed for it all.

How has our Government transformed itself from a people's government to a Stalinist one?

Such malevolent changes never occur overnight. We have to go back to the 1980's to trace its roots.

Every ten years or so the world moves forward by ditching an anachronism. Malaysia has tended to respond to these global changes in perverse contrarian fashion. It has bucked the trend as though confounding behaviour is always a positive virtue.

The Berlin Wall fell in November 1989 foreshadowing the 1991 collapse of the Soviet Union and the near annihilation of Communism. 

In 1987, Dr. Mahathir anticipated the collapse of the old world order and the Iron Curtain with eerie and uncanny prescience by embarking on Ops Lallang. 106 politicians, most of them from the Opposition, were arrested and jailed without trial under the Internal Security Act (ISA). To mask what was clearly an attempt to stifle opposition to Dr.M's policies, he also had arrested some UMNO MP's - including a then anonymous unknown Ibrahim Ali - all of whom were released shortly thereafter. Lim Kit Siang and Karpal Singh of DAP were served with 2 year detention orders! 

Dr.M capped this command performance by sacking Chief Justice Salleh Abbas in 1988 and then said the King had initiated it!

Earlier this year, the then IGP, Hanif Omar, categorically "confirmed" that it was he who sanctioned the 1987 ISA arrests and not Dr.M! 

Not surprising then that in the run up to Bersih2.0, PM Najib, DPM Muhyddin and Hishamuddin Hussein re-affirmed the universal law among Parliamentary democracies that elected leaders, MP's and Cabinet members of Government were all subordinates of their respective Inspector Generals of Police!

Has there ever been a more gutless cop out or malodorous BS in the history of the world?

Early this year the world bore witness to the the 'Arab Spring Uprising.' PM Najib was among the first to advise President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt:

“In a democratic system, we must prioritise the people and that is why any solution in Egypt must be based on demands and wants of the people to determine the future of their government.”

Whoa, was he, as is always claimed by Malaysian politicians, misquoted by Zionists, the USA, IMF, World Bank and Singapore intent on interfering in the internal affairs of Malaysia? Naah, it's only 100% true. So, sauce for the goose...sauce for the gander? Naah, not a chance, not in 1Malaysia, 2 Systems.

In his May 2011 speech at Oxford University, PM Najib went one better with: 

“Our choice is clear. Come together in action for a future of justice, freedom, hope, compassion and goodwill for our children or it will be replaced by a future of injustice, tyranny, hopelessness, cruelty and hate."

The spindoctoring apparatus never stops. They never say what they mean or mean what they say.

The IGP today claimed only 6,000 protesters took part. But the math doesn't compute - the police arrested nearly a whopping 1,500 or 25% of them? The crowd was actually somewhere in the region of 50,000-100,000 at its peak.

So, to borrow (with due apologies) from Churchill :

Ambiga and her Bersih 2.0 cohorts of 9th July 2011 led us in our finest hour. Never in the history of Malaysian conflict have so many owed so much to so few. 

So, Prime Minister Najib, do the decent thing. Do what's right and noble. Redeem yourself. Go see the King tomorrow. Leave Rosmah behind to pack the shoes and suitcases. Submit your resignation letter to him and call for fresh elections immediately.  

You are not fit to lead and govern Malaysia 1 day longer than that!

Donplaypuks® with our civil liberty rights, t-shirts and election system, man!

HIS MAJESTY AND STEEL MAGNOLIA - TIME MAGAZINE PERSONS OF THE MALAYSIAN YEAR?

by don king dunkindonut justice, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondents for majestic and clean (not dirty) yellow affairs

 

Yes, I know the year has still some six months to go and there might yet emerge some other terrific character who might make it to the number 1 spot in our search for 'Person of The Year.'

But surely there cannot be two better candidates than the charismatic Malaysian King, His Majesty Duli Yang Maha Mulia Seri Paduka Baginda Yang DiPertuan Agung Sultan Mizan Zainal Abidin ibni Almarhum Sultan Mahmud Almuktafi Billah Shah who executed a neat carpe diem, and the former Chairperson of the Bar Council and now leader of the 09/07/201 Bersih 2.0 call for free and fair elections, Dato Ms. Ambiga Sreenivasan, who exhibited courage, guts, gumption, savvy and an as cool as cucumber exterior and calmness that put to shame many a seasoned and veteran politician in Malaysia. 

Yellow may by the language of the Bard for cowards. But in Malaysia, since the times of Parameswara of Melaka in 1400 CE, yellow has been the of colour of OUR Royalty. 

In the end those who least expected it were royally screwed and caught completely off-guard!

In the face of some Machiavellian machinations and manipulative skulduggery (or so they thought) by the establishment, OUR King responded with an even-handedness that silenced Prime Minister Najib, Home Minister Kerismudin, the Cabinet, UMNO/BN and his entire administration and the IGP, while rendering that vile and foul mouthed agitator, provocateur and demagogue Ibrahim Ali and his PERKASA sycophants to sputtering idiots.

So unexpectedly regal was the Royal pronouncement that Ibrahim Ali and PERKASA let slip their masks to reveal their true hypocritical nature. They dared question His Majesty's decision in agreeing to and subsequently actually meeting up with Ambiga and her 09/07/2011 Bersih 2.0's organizers for a tete-a-tete at the Palace.

Well, I personally don't subscribe to the logic of these les majeste court cases that abound in Thailand. 

But, if the police are to be seen to be consistent in their upholding and enforcement of OUR Constitution and laws of Malaysia, then surely Ibrahim Ali and his followers MUST be hauled up and charged with Sedition and inciting racial and religious hatred? Or stand accused of practising double standards!

Especially since they publicly challenged the very ROYAL institution they swore they would protect from insults by "others" and "pendatangs" and have been quick on the draw in alerting the AG's attention to numerous alleged perceived slights directed at OUR Royalty.

After all, Karpal Singh was charged with Sedition (and found not guilty) for merely saying the Perak King can be sued in court. The AG had proceeded with that case based on a police report made by, among others, a slimy Bututsan reporter. True to the pathetic state of education in our country, that reporter later testified in court that by 'ultra vires' he understood it to mean 'insult (the Perak King)'!!??

So, what may well turn out to be the Philosopher King of Utopia's Kallipolis as envisaged by Plato in his 'Republic,' joined forces with a Steel Magnolia and put paid to rest the the possible emergence of a true Police State.

Nipped in the bud (for the moment anyway), as they say!

And who are the losers? 

In order of pre-eminence, they are:

1. Unelected PM Najib who played it like a rank amateur and confirmed state sponsored religious bigotry by publicly uttering, "Who doesn't know Ambiga. She's the one who threatened Islam."

PM Najib was of course referring to the Lina Joy case. She, (as do all citizens and others brought before OUR courts) has an inalenable Constitutional right to legal representation, in her case, to have the courts recognize her conversion out of Islam to Christianity. Her right of conversion is also guaranteed by OUR Constitution.

THE FACT IS AMBIGA DID NOT REPRESENT LINA JOY!

It was Dato Dr.Cyrus Vance!! CLICK HERE . And if it had not been him , another lawyer would have had to!

So, where did PM Najib get this piece of deliberately bigoted misinformation which Ibrahim Ali and PERKASA latched on to and quoted from gleefully, albeit in grave error?

If the Prime Minister of our country does not verify information before mouthing false statements, understand the law, and with scant regard for it, makes inflammatory public statements, he's not fit for that August office!

2. Deputy PM Muhy. If OUR King wanted to meet up with Ambiga and the Bersih organizers, who is he to dictate to OUR King and Ambiga/Bersih any pre-conditions?

3. Ibrahim Ali. He has brought Malaysian politics to utter disrepute. Earlier than the PM he made an even more incendiary statement by referring to Ambiga as,"That bloody Hindu woman" thus scoring a hattrick of racial, religiously bigoted and misogynous vilifications.

Of course, Ali did not fail to raise the possibilities of Ambiga/Bersih's possible links to Zionists, Communist USA and other foreign powers who has nothing better to do than intefere in Malaysia's internal affairs.

Just so as to confound those looking for some redeeming qualities in him, Ali also sledged the Bar Council as "bastards" and once again played that favourite card of his and Dr. Mahathir's by raising the bogey spectre of "13th May 1969." Ooh, that scared the King, didn't it?

As an aside, he "only advised" the Chinese to stock up on food and STAY AT HOME!" Heh, heh, heh!

4. The Police. It's time they stopped allowing themselves to being misused by UMNO, PM and Kerismudin as the whipping boys for all the bullying and blatant subversion of the law.

Let me state it very clearly. No leader of any democratic nation which subscribes to the rule of law has ever, with the exception Dr. Mahathir and now Najib, said the cops have authority over freely elected Ministers, Government and Parliament to marshall law and order as they please.

And by no stretch of anyone's imagination could Dr.Jeyakumar and 30 of his party members have proceeded to Penang to "wage war against OUR King" and resurrect Communism, armed to their eyeballs with YELLOW T-SHIRTS, could they? He's a medical doctor for God's sake! Grant him a modicum of intelligence.  He did a David on Goliath Samy Velu at GE 2008. You think he got there by having Stalinistic ambitions or being stupid?

OUR King and Najib govern from the Federal Territory of Putrajaya outside Kuala Lumpur and Dr. Jeyakumar headed for Penang to foment revolution?

And that so-called cache of petrol bombs and T-shirts stashed away among some rocks in the boondocks of Bentong. Only an idiot would cart these things all the way from Bentong in Pahang to KL when he could just as well come empty handed and assemble it all fresh here.

The last time the natives got restless and waged war with machetes must have been during that Jurassic era when they still wore grass skirts.

Wake up, IGP! It's not worth gaining the whole world only to lose your soul!

5. Bit players like Khairudin Jamaludin and UMNO Youth saved themselves embarrassing blushes after the King's intervention. They mouthed what sounded pretty much like an apology and withdrew their planned copy cat march. 

6. There is also that shallow and scurillous Masjid India gold peddling blogger who sounded more panicked than the rest of the nation, demanding Amibiga and Bersih members be arrested under the ISA. He insulted her as being as 'still new from the plantation.' Well Mr. Righteous who always quotes from the Koran, Ambiga's father was a kidney specialist at Pantai Medical centre and her uncle, Justice Gopal Sri Ram. They could probably tell you a thing or two about some Indian Muslims claiming to be Bumiputra and Malay and freely and shamelessly giving unsolicited advise to the Malays on what is adat and what is adab!

As for Ambiga and Bersih, 2 step forward, 1 step back is still progress. Here are some classic sayings and cliches for more inspiration: 

Rome was not built in a day.

From little acorns grow mighty oaks.
Even a root can cleave and rent asunder a giant boulder.

And to those who were illegally arrested for wearing yellow T-shirts and/or remanded/charged, MILLIONS salute your courage. We are in awe of your commitment to secure democracy and free elections in this land WE all love so much.

You are OUR true heroes. 

So, WE will turn up in full force with our families to support you in whichever Stadium and have a peaceful, but joyous, noisy celebratory PARTAY! We will do so even if it is held underwater, in outer space or in a black hole. That much we GUARANTEE! 

donplaypuks® with OUR King and Steel Magnolias, man! 

BYE, BYE STAR! BYE, BYE NST!

khali, mullah, spinners, unspinners and goebbels, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondents for top spinning affairs

I made one, and my family another stupendous decision today.

First, I decided to go yellow on the blog. ROS and Kerismudin, please take note!

My family then spoke to our daily newspaper delivery boy this morning and gave him the bad news. We decided to cancel with immediate effect our subscriptions to the Star, Sunday Star and the Sunday Times (NST Group).

We felt nothing but regret and sorrow. For the delivery boy, that is. We'd known him for over 10 years.

For the spinmeisters, we felt nothing but contempt, loathing and disgust.

I was particularly incensed after reading excerpts in these cat litterliners that DSAI was guilty of a crime, er..., what exactly I don't know.

It had been alleged by the AG, his deputy AND Defence Counsel in open court that certain unknown "experts" in USA and/or Korea had identified DSAI 99.99% as a participant in an a sex video by using high tech facial and body identification techniques.

Hard evidence was not presented by anyone since DSAI was nowhere named as a party to the case! Oh, you beauty!

(About a year or two ago, it was for that precise reason that the Court of Appeals expunged certain statements from a judgement made by Judge Sri Ram that mentioned Tun Daim Zainuddin - that Tun  was not a party to the relevant court case and should not have been been implicated when he could not legally defend himself! That's my amateur interpretation of that matter).

Certain choice expressions leap to mind:

1. Kangaroo Court ( I mean, why did the Honourable judge allow it or not expunge wild flying allegations?)
2. Trial by Innuendo
3. Trial by Media
4. Conspiracy

What's even more beautiful is that a defence lawyer expressed being mega impressed with a former CM's credentials. That former CM was once accused of having sex with a minor, which constitutes STATUTORY RAPE. In that instance, the Government through the AG later withdrew the charges.

I could be wrong, but I vaguely recall that several others were charged and convicted of having sex with the same minor!

It was also the instance when a DAP politician, now CM of Penang, was sent to prison. Here is the summary of that sordid episode in M'sian legal history when a man was sent to prison for defending an under-aged Malay girl on a matter of principle. Refer Wikipedia at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lim_Guan_Eng:

"Lim was arrested by Malaysian police in 1994, following his criticism of the government's handling of allegations of statutory rape of one of his constituents by former Chief Minister of the state of Melaka, Tan Sri Abdul Rahim Thamby Chik. 

Consequently, while the Attorney General decided not to charge Rahim Thamby Chik, Lim was charged under Section 4(1) (b) of the Sedition Act 1948 for causing 'disaffection with the administration of justice in Malaysia'. 

Lim was also charged under Section 8A (1) of the Printing Presses and Publications Act 1984 for 'maliciously printing' a pamphlet containing allegedly 'false information' because he had described the alleged rape victim as an 'imprisoned victim' because she was initially detained by Malaysian police without parental consent for 10 days.

During the judicial procedure, Lim was quoted saying:

“	If I fail and have to go to jail, I have no regrets. I have no regrets of going down fighting for the principles of truth and justice. And pursuit of human rights, especially women's rights. There can be no women's rights if women rape victims are considered equally responsible, and even detained, whilst the accused remain free.	”
	— Lim Guan Eng, http://home.clara.net/heureka/sunrise/lim-guan.htm

After a series of appeals, Lim was sentenced to 18 months imprisonment. He was, however, released after 12 months on August 25, 1999. Due to his incarceration he was disallowed from standing for election to public office for a period of 5 years, and he was therefore ineligible to contest in the 2004 Malaysian General Election."

I am not so naive as to think that all newspapers embrace the middle path. British newspapers like Times, Guardian and Daily Telegraph  all lean towards one political party or another and such is also the case with dailies in USA, Singapore, Australia, you name it.

But I am also reminded of how our some years ago our NST tried to influence voters by front paging a photo of Tengku Razaleigh wearing a Kadazan hat which was spun as him promoting Christianity! That was really scraping the barrel. So, there is a limit that must not be crossed!

Oh for sure too, the STAR and NST are not going to file for bankruptcy from my cancelling my  subscription to their publications.

But, it's my and my wife's hard earned money. We've had enough of lies, lies and more lies.

So, we opened the windows to our home and shouted out for all the world to hear:

"WE'RE FED UP. WE'RE NOT TAKING THIS CRAP ANY MORE!"

So, we'll keep our money in our pockets for a rainy day.

I urge everyone out there to think carefully.

Newspapers have a duty to report the news fairly. They should not become mere propaganda machines for political parties and publish blatant lies. They should not be their political masters' mouthpieces.

When they cross the line, we should act promptly and show them who's the boss!

donplaypuks® with my newspapers, man!