TODAY I COMMITTED SUICIDE BECAUSE I WAS SO HAPPY!

by count dracula, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for voluntary suicide affairs

Today I committed suicide. 

Why? 

Because I was so happy.

Why else would I do it?

See, the plans were all in place. My wedding registration was scheduled for tomorrow. My beautiful wife-to-be is carrying our love-child. Our respect and affection for each other knows no bounds. My best man had arranged for a grand feast and celeberations with family, relatives and friends. Our respective parents had all wonderfully accepted our union proposal and the actual wedding would have taken place some six months hence.

So, I thought to myself, how shall I jubilate?

Then it struck me like a bolt of lightning!

Why, by committing suicide from the 15th Floor Office of Malaysian Association for Cows and Carse of course, silly!

Didn't you know, it's becoming a fashionable trend! Check it out :

here

and

 here 

and

here 

Try it out yourself. But first, get yourself fully insured. If your trial run turns fatal your family's loss might not be total.

Try it while singing and rocking to the tune of Elton John's 'Crocodile Rock' hit song:

I remember when suicide was fun, 
Me and Susie would take a run,
And holding hands, jump off together, 
From the top of the Malaysian Association for Cows and Carse Tower, 
Wah, wah wah wha wha wha....."

Justice James Foong, Arman the Bully, Ashraf the Abuser and Hishammuddin the Arrogant Lying "Leader", we shall be waiting with a big stick after the next General Elections when this repressive fascist regime shall be history. Then, we shall leave no one in doubt whether it was aggressive interrogation, bullying, lying, mere accident or brutal premeditated assault!

Don't for one second think that we will forget Kugan, Gunasegaran, Sarbaini, Sujatha and many others who succumbed in suspicious circumstances. No siree, we won't.

But, if in the meantime you feel like taking a headlong dive from the top of Petronas Tower, feel free; be my guest! The nation will thank you.

Donplaypuks® with royal commissions of inquiries, man!