BERSIH, AMBIGA & SAMAD SAID TRIUMPH! NAJIB, KERISMUDIN AND FUAD FAIL MISERABLY!

or egg in the face of unelected little hitler mayors and prime ministers

by Donplaypuks®

So, it is the morning after. 

Did Bersih 3.0 achieve its 280412 objectives?

You can bet your unelected little hitler mayor's puckered little ass, it did. The massive turnout of 250,000 in Kuala Lumpur alone should send a strong message to Prime Minister Najib that this was no mere flash in the pan. It was an ever bigger international success than Bersih 2.0. Contrary to many a BUMNO blogger prediction, at lest half of those who turned up yesterday were Malaysian Malays.

It also achieved much more than that.

Never before have the citizens of Malaysia been more aware, more so with the shocking disclosure two days ago the the Election Commission Chairman and his Deputy are both UMNO members, that we have an inalienable right to a level playing field for General Elections 13. That the first step to achieving this is to strip bare the EC and re-build it.

Present too at Bersih 3.0 were the 'Stop Lynas' green t-shirted protest groups from Pahang who have every right to demand our government stop the Lynas Radioactive Rare Earth Project plant in Gebeng, Pahang, until they have cast iron guarantees on the safe storage of dangerous chemical and disposal of radioactive tailings (with half-life of 14 billion years) and chemical residues and waste. Our government too is unable to answer why, when this project was rejected by the Australian government with its known high standards, ours is "rushing in where angels fear to tread."

But first let me dismiss with utter contempt that contemptible old fart talk-with-english apple-in-your mouth waffling twerp Vice-Chairman of DAP, Senator Tunku Abdul Aziz who appeared irked that Bersih 3.0 advocated, aw shucks, breaking our laws of peaceful assembly. Isn't that just one step away from Communism? It has not escaped the notice of many that this Tunku now rubs shoulders with such newly appointed scintillating senators like Nallakaruppan and Ezam Mohd. Nor, which has raised the bar at our rubber-stamping Senate from just about zero foot to negative 6 feet.

Bersih 1.0 broke the requirements of the Internal Security Act (ISA) and the ban on assembly of more than four persons in public. Hundreds of thousands, including some prominent BUMNO bloggers who then marched in defiance of our statutes, now murmur about the legality of Bersih 3.0. Security was NOT then an issue, but suddenly, it now is?

In Bersih 2.0 last July, the police broke the law first by arbitrarily arresting people wearing yellow t-shirts, even before the day of the event! Then they ISA'd the heroic giant-slayer of Sungei Siput, MP Dr. Michael Jeyakumar Devaraj (and five others) of the Socialist Party on the flimsiest and lamest of pretexts that he was sallying forth to "wage war against the King and country" on his way to Penang in the north, when our King was in Kuala Lumpur!

How about DAP MP Teresa Kok and that Sin Chew newspaper reporter being falsely arrested under the ISA "for their own safety!" Which Constitution and law were the authorities following?

So, let us stop pretending that the law must never be broken. Otherwise, Malaya would never have gained Independence from the British, would it?

If a particular law is a bad ass (oppressive to the extent it is equivalent to a denial of our inalienable human right), then bad ass mamas and papas are entitled to break it with impunity. Remember, inalienable means it is given by God to us. So, no human or government can take it away from us.

(This pic was taken at about 7.30 a.m. at Dataran Merdeka on 28/04/12, in the full view of about a hundred policemen. So, we broke the law. Big deal! You see panic-stricken policemen anywhere, rushing to fire tear gas at us?). 

Up till 3 p.m. yesterday, the Bersih 3.0 crowd was cheerful, boisterous, jocular and well behaved. No one came there with thoughts of riot, rebellion or "imperilling the security of the nation." This, despite, on Unelected Mayor Ahmad Fuad's instructions, the police having turned Dataran Merdeka into a war-like zone replete with barbwire barricades.

Precisely a minute after Ambiga and Anwar left, all hell broke loose. The cops fired tear gas and sprayed the crowd with pepper and chemical laced water. They did not issue any prior warning. My family and I were fortunate to escape being stampeded on, though we got two whiffs of tear gas/chemical water. But somehow we recovered fast, while hundreds around us were vomiting, wheezing and dripping from the nose. It took us an hour, after making representations to the police at barricades at Jalan Sultan Ismail and Jalan Kucing, to walk from Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman back to the Bank Negara vicinity where our car was parked.

I do not blame the 7,000 rank-and-file policemen and FRU for the chaos that ensued at Dataran Merdeka. I do not blame or condemn them for pulling the tear gas trigger. The fault for well over 30 years in Malaysia has been with the top leadership at government and police. If fish rot in the head first, our government leaders are a putrid lot of festering, suppurating and fetid scum who stink from head to toe. Those who gave the orders. Nevertheless, it does not help if our policemen are brainwashed by the BTN propaganda machinery, and will not exercise discretion. As observed as far back as Nuremberg in 1946, there are some orders no one has to, or should, follow.

The fault lies to a large extent with unelected Prime Minister Najib and Home Minister 'Kersimudin' Hishamuddin, but mostly with unelected Mayor of Kuala Lumpur, Ahmad Fuad. And that is exactly how the script was planned, written and executed. A little charade.

It demonstrates exactly what is wrong with Malaysia. In the Federal Territory of Kuala Lumpur, 11 out of 12 Members of Parliament (MP) comprise those from Opposition parties. Yet, the Mayor of KL is appointed by the Prime Minister as is the Minister of Federal Territory, Dato Raja Nong Chik, who is not an elected MP but got in through the backdoor by first being appointed a Senator! So, the 11 elected Opposition MP's have no say whatsoever in the administration of Kuala Lumpur.

Ever since PM Najib appointed APCO PR spinmasters for $78 million to improve relations with USA and pave the way for more Foreign Direct Investment (FDI), he has been playing this little game. On the one hand, he will do everything (including breaking the law) to cling on to power, and on the other, he must project this image of being a liberal and a great proponent of human rights to continue attracting FDI's. So, this yes, no; yes, no game which he plays with Kerismudin in which he has now inducted the latest patsy, unelected Mayor of KL, Ahmad Fuad Ismail, who true to form, played to perfection the role of Little Hitler.

When the PM of the country, The Home Minister and Minister of Federal Territories all had no objection to Bersih 3.0, and had declared it as "not a security threat", where exactly was Fuad coming from? Dataran Merdeka, a historic place, therefore out of bound for Bersih 3.0? Tell me, which part of KL is not historic. But then, in the '90's a Mahathir fiat banished cricket, hockey, rugby and tennis from the Dataran field. Mahathir then approved the sale of the historic Merdeka Stadium to the Renong Group for real estate development.You think these philistines really care about what is historic and what is not?

And had National Laureate Samad Said and Ambiga first suggested holding the rally at Merdeka Stadium, you think PM Najib and Fuad would have waved it through? Yet, they would not allow Bersih 2.0 to be held at Merdeka Stadium. What was the flimsy excuse then? Then there was Fuad talking about a potential "security threat" with Perkasa threatening to march on 28/04/12 as well. Fuad, do you need five year old kids to educate you? You could not have asked PM Najib to rule that peaceful gatherings should be allowed on a first-come-first-served basis and that Perkasa could have Dataran all to themselves the following Saturday, and then request the police to enforce that?

Bah, two-faced humbugs! Shameless hypocrites!

So, this is the game, where opposition is concerned.

But the citizenry is not stupid. They will continue to break every single oppressive law because our elected and unelected leaders themselves break the laws with impunity. When you push people to the wall, they will eventually fight back. And so long as the PM, Cabinet, IGP, AG and police WILL NOT bring to book the person(s) who gave the order to murder and blow up Altantuya (in 18/10/2006) with C4 plastic explosives, they constitute an illegal rogue regime that has not a strand of moral fibre to stand on in preaching to anyone about not breaking any law.

Donplaypuks®

BERSIH 3.0, 280412. GET UP, STAND UP, STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS!

By Donplaypuks®

    Get Up, Stand Up by Bob Marley

I am not braver than anyone else out there. I too have family, a wife and children and their future to think about.

But every now and then some major issue will emerge that will test your mettle and courage. How you respond to these challenging issues will determine whether you will be be held in any esteem at all by your family, wife, children, friends and acquaintances. It will ascertain whether you continue to walk with your head held high among your peers, or not.

Ask yourself more than anything else, what lessons you are teaching your children. What legacy will you leave behind? If you allow yourself to be trampled over without any resistance, you might as well tell your wife and children to emigrate.

Bersih 3.0 is not just about our dissatisfaction with the machinations of the Election Commission. They have had over ten years to rectify the errors discovered in the electoral roll by the Opposition. CLICK HERE for a brilliant analysis into the shortcomings of the Electoral Roll by Dr.Ong Kian Meng. All the recent changes to the EC Rules are attempts to subvert the Rule of Law, by Rule by Law.

Every time an error is discovered, the EC dismisses it with "it is only 0.00xxx% of the electoral roll." It shows pathetic idiocy reigning at the EC since these errors are discovered at random. Imagine what a full independent audit of the electoral roll will uncover. This point seems to have escaped the EC Chief, but more likely, they are wilfully guilty of maintaining an irregular electoral roll.

Today's breaking news that both the EC Chief and his deputy have been card carrying registered members of UMNO proves once and for all that the EC has not been independent for a very, very long time. The correct presumption is that the EC kow-tows to the whims and fancies of the ruling UMNO/BN government which has been in power since 1957. 

The right to peaceable assembly without arms by citizens is an inalienable right of all Malaysians. An inalienable right means that even if our Constitution is silent on that matter, our rights cannot be reduced one jot by any earthly power, because it is given to us by GOD!

So, we must not allow ourselves to be intimidated by two-faced Ministers for Home Affairs or worse, unelected Mayors, when we have GOD on our side. 

Had Samad Said and Ambiga originally selected Merdeka Stadium as the venue for Bersih 3.0, KL Mayor Ahmad Fuad would have pronounced it out of bounds for "historic" reasons, and suggested they convene in the middle of the jungle to avoid affecting adversely the livelihoods of our oh, so poor petty traders, hawkers and taxi drivers in Masjid India. 

Let us be very clear. OUR elected Minister for Home Affairs has publicly announced that Bersih 3.0 is not a security issue. Therefore, unelected Mayor of Kuala Lumpur, Ahmad Fuad, go suck your fuckin' thumbs, court order or not.

Many may feel that tomorrow's planned gathering of Bersih 3.0 will be a nuisance, an unwelcome disruption to their placid lives. I can only urge and exhort you to get off your posteriors, because if you don't, the day is not far off when you might soon be squatting in some refugee camp in Thailand or Burma, ruing that you did not get up and stand up for your rights. Even if you are afraid, come and stand, even if it is far from the madding crowd. Your mere presence in the vicinity will send a strong signal to the government, unelected mayor of Kuala Lumpur and these Stalinists that we shall not accept their dictatorial ways.

As for me, I shall be at Dataran Merdeka on Saturday 28 April 2012, i.e. tomorrow, come hell or high water. No government shall tell me which colour t-shirts shirts I cannot wear, or an unelected mayor get away with over-ruling a Federal Minister, albeit a two-faced one. 

In any event, I will hold Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak responsible if anything untoward transpires tomorrow, because he has, by continuing to remain silent, confirmed that he has sub-contracted the Nazi Gestapo shenanigans to the dirty tricks brigade at City Hall.

If I am arrested, I won't pay the fine and will signal two fingers if the judge puts me behind bars. There is no way I am going to contribute one cent more than legally necessary to the coffers of one of the most corrupt rogue regimes in modern human history!

In the immortal words of The Fonz, 'Be There, or Be Square!'

We Are (sometimes regrettably) All of 1 Race, The Human Race

Donplaypuks®

THAT 'OL SINKIN' SCOREPENIS SUBMARINE FEELIN'

by richard muthusamy roundshaftee abdullah, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondents for legal, submarine and altantuya c4yourself murder cover up affairs

    It's Too Late by Carole King

The time has come the Walrus said
To talk of a prime minister
Of $200,000 Birkin handbags-and $7.4 billion submarines that don't sink-and a $74 million diamond sparkler
Of lawyers and actions sinister
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether a pig talks through its sphincter

I had earlier written about the FACTS surrounding the murder of the Mongolian female, Altantuya, and the $6.13 billion + $570 million (not a commission) + $600 million maintenance contract + what else we don't know on 24 April 2011 under a blog post titled:

'Yes Prime Minister, Let's Really Send Altantuya's Murderers To Hell, Shall We?' CLICK HERE for that expose.

The title was of course part borrowed (with much thanks) from Raja Petra Kamarudin's original post on M2Day titled 'Let's Send The Altantuya Murderers To Hell.' CLICK HERE to read that one.

I love quoting a certain blogger who also sits on the Advisory Board of the MACC:

'All these things really happened.' 

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Of course that last bit ('So let it be...') was uttered by none other than the late Yul Bryner in his brilliant performance as Pharoah Ramses II in the 1956 movie 'The Ten Commandments.' And strangely enough, Yul Bryner claimed to born Taidje Khan, of part Mongolian descent!

Something irked me greatly when news broke out a week ago that the Rosemajibs had suddenly commanded their lawyers to:

"....undertake a sensitive legal assignment overseas that must be completed before the general election. This would entail travel to three cities - New York, London and Dubai, and possibly Paris - for a span of at least three weeks, and over this course of time (I) would be involved in intensive legal preparations such as negotiating with parties and their witnesses, drafting claims and affidavits and interviewing witnesses who are in New York, London, Paris or Basel (Switzerland). There is speculation that.....trip may have links with the ongoing French investigation on alleged corruption into the purchase of two Scorpene submarines by Malaysia, which may also cast more light on the murder of aspiring model and translator Altantuya Shaariibuu six years ago."

It doesn't matter who the lawyers are since they are merely carrying out the orders of their clients.

This move by the Rosemajibs to shrink wrap their game plan under a shroud of secrecy is not calculated to endear them more to the citizens of 1Malaysia. The first response from a stunned 1Nation was "who foots the legal bill?" Not surprising at all, since that same question is being asked about so many of the Rosemajib's expenses ranging from trips to USA and Kazakhstan to grand engagement parties for their children.

Well, there can only be one reason for this mad rush overseas by the Rosemajib's lawyers - to secure legal paperwork so that they can announce to 1Malaysia that they were not the beneficiaries of billions of dollars of kickbacks in the Scorpene Submarine debacle. Soon, we will be regaled with affidavits and Statutory Declarations confirming without a shadow of a doubt that the Rosemajibs are clean. Possibly Razak Baginda, some French and USA defence officials and bankers in Dubai and Switzerland will play their part. CLICK HERE and CLICK HERE for a couple of articles by Asia Sentinel on the latest development in France on the case filed by Suaram against the Malaysian Government and DNC, the biggest defence contractor in France.

But it will all be to no avail. The public perception is that the Rosemajibs cannot be trusted even if they both swear on the Koran again. The train of trust has long since departed from its station, leaving behind two bluff, pathetic figures. It's too late.

Why?

Because, for 5 long years, the top political leadership of 1Malaysia has done absolutely nothing to bring to trial the person(s) who gave the orders to murder Altantuya, purportedly for a fee of $100,000 as confessed to by the person who was convicted of pulling the trigger, Chief Inspector Azilah Hadri. 

This is THE damning indictment of a rogue regime that protects killers, murderers and also fraudsters who steal billions and billions of dollars from their fellow citizens with no feelings of remorse whatsoever! Stealing is bad enough. But they steal from, and cheat too, their own kind. They are worse than the Mafia and paid hitmen.

My fellow Malaysians, it is not only time to change the cars, but the drivers as well!

ABB - Anything But BUMNO/BN!

Donplaypuks® with murder and murderers, man!

FREE 3RD DEGREE FOR ALL AT BLOGGERS R US!

by the three degrees, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondents for 3rd degree affairs

(The Three Degrees music videos - see below).

   Three Degrees - When Will I See You Again

 Three Degrees - Falling In Love With Love Again                                       

The products of our globally no.1 MsEjjucashion System are evident everywhere in 1 3rd Degree Bolihland. So, Donplaypuks® sent out his cybersleuths and media con-sultants to gather evidence that we have some of the best degree holders ever and to get quotable quotes from them to prove they are worth more than mere paper and are capable of inspiring us to greater heights.

Here are a few gems. Have a good laugh, for laughter is the best medicine, ever!


MSM & OTHERS

BUMNO/BN at partiskimskimalibabagajibutacepatkaya@btnketuanan.gov.con.my
Only our $43 billion PTPTN write-off and BTN sponsored ketuanan degrees shall be recognised. DAP degrees are not only not halal but are also anti-Islam, anti-Malay, anti-Royalty, anti-Police, anti-MACC, anti-Judiciary and pro-China and Singapore colonisation. This is racialism as approved by Maha Firaun, but not racism or bigotry. Hooray! 

M China Ally at chairmanredmao@beijing.conmmunism

No need degree loh! Just memorise the Little Red Ah Long's Book and Dr.M’s masterpiece non-fiction novel ‘Ali Baba And The 400 Thieves.’ Vote wisely. 

M Indian Circus at weavewigs@velu.tamilnadu.yindia.con

Yeducashion degreeing? Not needing yet yall.  No cash dere. Get scrotum pouch licking and testicle carrying degree from MAIMS U (Mamauncle Advanced Institute of Madhoff Schemes University). We teaching what they don’t teaching at Havud, Oxford and Cambridge – the 3 books of yaccounting hocusing pocusing book-keeping systeming. Isn’t it? Vote wisely. 

Buntutsan Newspaper at bangkitpemegangijazah@buntutsan.toiletpaper.con

Don’t feel insulted (i.e. ultra vires) to rise and claim your birthright social contract brainwashed BTN degree/ijazah. The less you know, the better. Let I Ali, Robotfrog and Perkosong liberate you with ignorance and bigotry. Vote wisely. 

WCW Jalan Alor Setar Newspaper at wcwjlnalorsetar@toiletpaper.con

Don’t feel insulted (i.e. ultra vires) to rise and claim your birthright social contract brainwashed BTN degree. The less you know, the better. Let Buntutsan, I Ali, Robotfrog and Perkosong liberate you with ignorance and bigotry. Vote wisely. 

New State Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, Thighimes Dishrag Newspaper at nstthaithighs@toiletpaper.con

Don’t feel insulted (i.e. ultra vires) to rise and claim your birthright social contract brainwashed BTN degree. The less you know, the better. Let Buntutsan, I Ali, Robotfrog and Perkosong liberate you with ignorance and bigotry. Vote wisely. 

Mal Association for Cows & C.Arse at gohchengpoh-a.k.a.-tengkugoh@08gang.net

NFA! The degree of guilt can only be ascertained by the quality of the investigation. It's not our job to find proof. We always give suspects the benefit of the doubt with the third degree. TBH? It was voluntary suicide. We have 100% ascertained there is no criminality involved. Ask I Raja Polis. Vote wisely. 

I Raja Polis ans I Polis Raja at gohchengpoh-a.k.a.-tengkugoh@08gang.net

NFA! The degree of guilt can only be ascertained by the quality of the investigation. It's not our job to find proof. We always give suspects the benefit of the doubt with the third degree. It was water in Kugan’s lungs. We have 100% ascertained there is no criminality involved. Ask Mal Association of Cows & C.Arse. Vote wisely. 

AG at gohchengpoh-a.k.a.-tengkugoh@08gang.net

NFA! The degree of guilt can only be ascertained by the quality of the investigation. It's not my job to find proof. I always give suspects the benefit of the doubt with the third degree. Ask I Raja Polis and Mal Association of Cows & C.Arse. Vote wisely. 

Ambassador TO USA at 1Cigar@rabaraba.comequick.washingtondc

It’s not the engineering degree or the cigar. It’s who smokes it for you and how you “settle” the bill for a hundred thousand smackeroos! Vote wisely. 

AR Baginda at OxconsubmarinesPhD@$540million.scorepenisconjob.net.mongolia

Pak Lah you die lah! You only have local Islamic Studies and Sleeping Degree. I also have sleeping degree. More than that, I have PhD in Internal and International Sleeping Relations with Altantuya. That’s glocally recognised! 

I Ali, Robotfrog at jumpingfrogs@messcommdegree.con

I got degree in mess comm. So, that’s mean don’t messing wis me, kan? And don’t Bersih 3 with that anti-Christ, anti-Muslim, anti-Malay, anti-anti bloody woman, ok? Or else, I may blow 67% of my top! 

KJ at silhairyplotter@oxcon.punb.myfatherinlaw.zzzzzzz

You don’t need any degree. You only need a father-in-law with big cables in Telekom, Tenaga, Pantai Hospital, Maybebank, alibaba nominee at Pathos Consulting and telephone number for Temasick Sovereign Fund. You can become an instant unemployable most eligible millionaire with a single phone call and a few strokes of the pen. Work smart, not study hard.

 MInsider at kali&mullah@badawiconeheads.sleep.com

I haven’t the slightest degree of ownership interest in MI. if anyone says so, I will sue for $50 million. I said nothing defamatory. I will not apologise to Maha Firaun or Matthias Chang. Ok, I will. ZZZZ. 

MKini at mkini@gsoros.con

Subscribe to our online portal and earn a degree in Zionism, how to gamble on the forex market, short sell currencies and bankrupt South East Asian economies. Meet our international con-sultant apanama Maha Firaun Dr.M and his faithless $30 billion forex assistant, Nor Mohd. Robocop (see below). 

MuhyAmatDopeyDin (MADD) DPM at jibberishforall@msejjucashion.gov.con.my

My degree in Isam comes first, then my degree in Malay and then only my 1 Bolihlander degree. You have cash, then we have MsEjjucashion degree for you. No cash, then we have $43 billion of unserviced PTPTN gormen loan scheming degree for you. You wan? 

Nor Mohd Robocop at $30billionforexcon@econsplunderingunit.bnm.gov.con.my

A mere degree in economics will not suffice. You must have a PhD in milking the system and making cheese. You must know how to steal and move $30 billion of cheese before someone else does. Guess who was the PM then? All these things happened. So let it be written, so let it be done. 

Pandikar Amin Wan Kiandee at neuteredeunuchballscarriers@zoohouse.gov.con.my
If it's a Minority Report or Opposition degree, then 100% cannot. If it's a $10.1 billion Supplementary Government Overspending Degree without any explanations or details, then always can. In the end, it's my decree that counts, not your degree! 

Roti Jala & Dalcha at

 1PemanduGoondu@$1TrillionApcotIsraelgajibutaspindoctorjob.con

We cannot continue subsidising MsEjjucashion and degrees. We have to introduce compulsory 10% Goods & Services Tax Treasure (GST) and 10% National Health Tax Con-tribution because the government has difficulty paying my $100K per month salary, which is 5 times the PM’s basic salary. 

1 Rosemajib at flomflopflocu$74millionjacobsnydiamondring@birkin.crony.gov.con.my

Get a no-strings attached, no accountability, no transparency $105 million grant from taxpayers and earn honorary FLOM (First Lady of Mongolia) and FLOP (First Lady of Putrajaya) degrees from FLOCU First Lady of Curtin Uni. 

Saiful at footballteamlonglifedna@kyjelly.levisjeans.unclepet.gov.con.my
I went to see the PM and her husband about a scholarship for a Talikom degree course I had dropped out of. The PM later lied about it, twice. The rest as they say, is the football team's history.

BLOGGERS & PRETENDERS

Big Dog at K9@$13billionminusmasringgitdoghouserambleson.bloghouse.gov.con.my

It’s not the university degree there’s important. It’s the degree of frequent flier mileage points you accumulate under AA-MAS “family member discount” 10% fares subsidy you get that’s important. How else you thinks I cans afford go has lunch with RPK in London? Don’t tell the AA-MAS Unions, yah, please!

Che Det at http:chedet.cc/blog/ and also at apanamai4getselectively.petronas.proton@1motherofalldilemmas.bumi.gov.con.my

The apanama Malays forget easily! Once, only I had a foreign university medical degree from the land on the other side of the Causeway - no, not India. Now many Malays have degrees. Once we had no chinese DAP. Now we have chinese DAP. They will rob the Malays of their degrees, land, religion, king, 30% ytl, ak, vince baby and side mokh alibaba billion $ contracts money and country. That's racialism, but not racial. We must take everything back by slow degrees. Najib's 1 Bolihland is on the right track and working out stupendously well - for Mukhriz. Way to go, Jibby!

Din Merican the DJ blogger at learnbymistakes@dr.kamsiah.wife.nag.loveit.my

Forget the degree! Here's the week-end entertainment from dinobean, clfamiliaris, phua kai lit, mr.bean, reeperbahn, danilaud, tok cik, abnizar, mak cik, kathy, didi and the gang. 

Jebat Must Died? at hangtuahischinese@profemerituskkk.nohistory.con

Yes, it’s true UMNO/MCA/MIC have been in power as the federal government since 1957 and formulated and implemented the national education and vernacular schools policy 100% with taxpayers’ money. But, it’s all the racist DAP (who have never formed the federal government) and Long John Dong Zong’s fault to a degree. Certainly not MCA or MIC or UMNO’s fault. We must only write “true facts” in our history books. All the “false facts” in our history books approved by UMNO/MCA/MIC since 1957 – it’s all also the racist DAP’s fault. This is the true truth. 

MAGIC RIVER at http://www.magickriver.org/

Get a degree from nature. Live with nature and learn from the real Orang Asal/Orang Asli. Fuck Jibby! 

OutSyed D Masjid India Gold Sukuk Shop Box at OTB@houseofsaud.goldsukukbox.bloghouse.gov.con.my

To a great degree, it’s all the fault of the Arabs in Bukit Bintang. Guess who was the PM at that time? All these things happened. So let it be written, so let it be done. By order of ‘The Club of Holy Book Doom.’ 

Parpukari & Dalcha at housepkrotichanaibelumselesai@mahafiraun.con

Gempar the Degree man! Where’s the PANAS KFC chicken skin lard food? Gempar the KFC! Where’s the Nasional Feednotalot Corp $180 a kilo condo beef steak? Gempar the condo beef steak… 

Peoples Parliament at lawbreakerslawmakers@ http://harismibrahim.wordpress.com/
Get an internationally recognised degree from Anak Bangsa Uni. No, try Uni of Barisan Rakyat or Pakatan Rakyat or KITA or MCLM or Zaid or Third Force or ABU. Just get a degree. Uni of RPK? Let me think about it.

Rocky's Mole Brew at bumnobnpressclub@$10millionIwish.bloghouse.gov.con.my
$10 million for a BMW degree? No way, hose. I wish. We only wanted to to give the Sleeping PM a send off of the highest degree as Adviser to Mana Ada Sistem Airlines. Now where do we put the soon to "retire" Rosemajib? Petronas, MASA, Sime Darby, Proton, Maybank - they are all full up with former PM's and DPM's as "advisers". Ambassador to Mongolia or Curtin Uni perhaps?

Rights2Write at believenothing@.dr.commonsense.com.ampang

Those with degrees must comment sensibly or else I will close down my blog, again, and again. And again. Have you heard the joke about the two soldiers in the jungle? One says in his walkie-talkie 'This is 1 Melayu. Who is that on the line?" The reply comes back, "This is 10 Punjabi Sikhs. What do you want? Hockey Stick or bar of Lux Soap for the shower? Payment? Belakang kira, woi!" Lol! 

RPK at reliablyinformedjohnsohSD@manchesteryacht.com.uk

Malaysia yesterday, Manchester today. I am reliably informed by PI Bala, the supersleuth private dick, that I am reading for an Oxcam Sun Tzu Tai Chi degree myself. If everyone hates me, then I have earned my degree. 

SakmongkolAK47 at muaythai@russian.challengeeveryassumption.com

It’s a 180-degree political u-turn of course. But the truth must prevail. Better DAP  than the party and PM to which serially lying has become second nature (keperangaian kedua), i.e. Rosemajib and BUMNO. I am not related to Steadtaku47 or AK - Ananada Krishnan.

uppercaise at LoWeRcAiSe@retiredjournosdontpanic.com.my
Is it 'DEGREE' or 'degree'? Find out at Selangor Times at http://www.scribd.com/doc/88366576/Selangor-Times-April-5#fullscreen. 
 

BumBSspinners at ravellingspinsandlies@pusinggasing.bloghouse.gov.con.my

Truth is not important. What is important is you support Buntutsan, Perkosong and boikot (language makhluk mana ini?) Mkini which is anti-Malay and anti-Muslim because they criticise the PM and government even and especially if they spin and lie. How unfair and bigoted of them!

Steadyaku47 at somewheredownunder@idreamofthingsthatneverwereandaskwhynot?.com.au
I have an Oz degree. What do you have and wgaf about your give-away watered down degree in Bolihland anyway? And make no mistake. I am not RPK and no relation to SakmongkolAK47 or AK- Ananada Krishnan.
 

Zorro-Unmasked at anythingsweptunderdcarpet@dondiego.com.bahamas

If it’s 3%-12% proof, that’s beer degree. If it’s > 20% proof, that’s black label degree. Lol! Anything less, it’s time to throw the power-drunk BUMNO/BN government out on its ears. ABU.

Donplaypuks® with our degrees, man!

DPM MADD TALKS GLOCAL SCALE MSEJJUCASHION JIBBERISH!

by crackoji jibby, PhD (Dip. Ed), Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for msejjucashion affairs

" It will be a win-win situation. We’ll upgrade your Universities and re-brand them as Sekolah Menegah Kolej Oxford/Cambridge, Sekolah Menengah Kolej Havud etc. in which 67% of places for academics, administrators and students shall be reserved wholly on merit, by special quota, for our people. The rest will be reserved for our Bumis. That’s fair, isn’t it?"

The Dons from all over the globe gathered at MARAH University College at Sucesspool Princeville City. Yes, they were angry (marah), and no, they were distinctly not the Dons as in ‘Don Corleone The Godfather’ who went about making stunning horse head offers you could not possibly refuse, and who was drawn to ‘termination without prejudice of the permanent kind’ million dollar offing hit contracts where the standard equipment were the assassin’s super-calibre scope rifle and .45 calibre cyanide tipped dum dum bullets.

No, these were the Dons of academia who were drawn to hundred billion dollar MsEjjucashion budgets being splashed about with gay abandon by Bolihland’s Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for MsEjjucashion, Professor MuhyAmatDopeyDin (MADD).

These Dons had been stunned into silence. They were also terribly upset. For nowhere else but in Bolihland could you find tertiary education professors, about 95% of whom wholly embodied and wilfully embraced the scintillating philosophy of ‘if you can’t, then teach, but whatever you do, never publish.’ Yet, Bolihland had stolen a march on the world by advancing over USA, UK, France, Japan, Singapore and Germany in MsEjjucashion.

Of course Australia was not on their radar screen. Who in their right state of mind would wish to memorise and teach, “The rine in Spine folls minely on the pline, bugger the barbie and ‘roo, mite!”

The Dons were angry because, frankly, none of them had thought up the original idea of a University College. These were no Dons of small stature by any means. They all had IQ’s of above 160. They had descended from their lofty eeries in Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, Princeton, MIT, Yale, Columbia, Stanford, Caltech and the like. A few were the guru financial wizards from the holy temples of the new age – ‘Wharton Goldman Sucks’ and ‘Carnegie, Who Stole The Ripe Melon?’ and ‘Why Not Steal The Cheese Before Someone Else Does?’ schools of (pyramid scheme) business – from where, I’m reliably informed, (though one can never be sure) Bernie Madhoff and his sons graduated.

There was no rumour to the truth that the Dons from Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, Princeton, MIT, Yale, Columbia, Stanford, Caltech, Wharton Goldman Sucks, Carnegie, Who Stole The Ripe Melon? and Why Not Steal The Cheese Before Someone Else Does? schools of (pyramid scheme) business were contemplating moving their campuses and MsEjjucashion Head Quarters to Sucesspool Princeville City.

The Dons arrived in Bolihland by the truckloads after their Air MASA Asia flights were re-timed ( a rare occurrence, I’m often told) while on transit in Dubai, to engage Prof MADD in a Q & A session on Bolihland’s oustanding achievent. They wanted too, to be enlightened on Prof MADD’s grand scheme to turn Bolihland into yet another “Regional Hub,” this time, for Mass MsEjjucashion.

The entire dialogue between the Dons and MADD was of course duly and dutifully classified “Secret” under OSIBISA – Official Secrets in Intelligence, Banking, Insurance and Security Act. However, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondents managed to hack official files to  glocally wikipedialeak the MADD transcripts:

Dons: Prof MADD, how did you and Bolihland manage to overtake USA, UK, Singapore  and the others in MsEjjucashion?

MADD: Why you all so gorblok? Saya terutamanya Muslim. Lepas itu Melayu. Then Bumiputra. Lepas itu ahli BUMNO. Then penyokong ‘Academia Fantasia.’ Lepas itu, manusia. The, maybe, Bolihlander. Takkan you tak tahu don't no?’

Dons: Brilliant! You invented a new language?

MADD: Yes, isn’t it?

Dons: What is it called?

MADD: Jibberish.

Dons: Jibberish? How original. Who invented it?

MADD: It’s named after our Trillion Dollars Private But 85% Public Funded Tranformers Pemandu Goondu Prime Minister, Rosemajib and her husband who crafted it in 2008.

Dons: Jibberish? How many alphabets does it have? How many vowels and consonants?

MADD: Same as in the England except we add in $ and ‘pusing gasing’ or PR Spindoctor.

Dons: Oh? How do you, as you say, psaing gsaing, and PR spin? We don’t know anything about it.

MADD: Ayoh, so simple also you all don’t know. We learn and practise what they don’t teach at OxCam and Havud.

Dons: Sounds like Jibbersih has elements of Manglish. And what’s that we don’t teach and who do you learn from?

MADD: From APCOT International Spindoctors of Israel. It’s a plum contract for $100 million.

Dons: Can you give us an example?

MADD: Well let’s say they ask in Parlimen,‘How much is the APCOT contract?” Our Jibberish answer will be $33 million. When later the Opposition find out that it’s US$33 million but Bolihland B$100 million, they will say I lied to them. But, I will point to Hansard’s offisial records and say in Jibberish “Where got I say B$33 million? Proof it, chop!” and close the matter.

Dons: Ah, we see. That’s clever. Any more examples?

MADD: Oh, so many. Everyday got new one, lah. Say, we illegally pay B$540 million gaji buta (shake leg/sinecure) commission to our crony (so he can generously and voluntarily 'donate’ some 'small beer' money, say B$500 million, to BUMNO), for 2 B$4 billion (excluding B$50 million annual maintenance cost) submarines that cannot sink. The Opposition raises a big stinky black fart kentut. So, we can answer only in Jibberish: “It was not a commission. We cannot say more because of OSIBISA. But all procedures have been complied with. National Security. Racially sensitive. The King. DAP. Islam under unfair attack. You hate Malays. Also, the fact that the submarines cannot dive has not affected their operational capabilities. We can still use them to hunt down illegal Indons, Banglas and Myanmars up and down our coastline.”

Dons: Brilliant! Any more shining examples?

MADD: No notes, please and switch off your handphones. Say, the costings for the propo Toll Highway Bridgecon over the Selper River linking Banting in Selangor and Taipingcon in Perak come in at B$3.5 billion, already over the intial budget by B$500 million. But elections are forthcoming. BUMNO needs petty cash to buy, er no, bury the Opposition. So, we double the costings to B$7.0 billion. Opposition says,”Fraud! How can it cost B$23 million per kilometre? Will the bridge/highway be topped with gold or diamonds? And besides, there’s no Selper River.”

We counter expertly in Jibberish,“No, gold and diamonds are too expensive. We’ll use solid rare earth and rare earth radiactive tailings and waste imported by Lynas Corp of Mt. Weld, Australia. That way, we get glowing maintenance free highway for 14 billion years. No Selper River? Small problem. BUMNO will innovate and build it for the citizens.

Dons: Ah, sheer genius! But, explain slowly to us Proff MADD, that if we re-locate from USA, UK, Singapore, France, Germany, Japan and Singapore to Sucesspool Princeville City, how will our second class msejjucashion systems be integrated into your first class one?

MADD: It will be a win-win situation. We’ll upgrade your Universities and re-brand them as Sekolah Menegah Kolej Oxford/Cambridge, Sekolah Menengah Kolej Havud etc. in which 67% of places for academics, administrators and students shall be reserved wholly on merit, by special quota, for our people. The rest will be reserved for our Bumis. That’s fair, isn’t it?

Dons: Eminently fair! Bravo! But what about programmes and places for visiting professors?

MADD: Of course. It goes without saying. All our administrators, EC Chief, profs, PM, Ministers, Chief Ministers, Civil Servants, IGP, AG, CJ and Army Generals, and their wives, children, maids and pets shall travel first class all the way and back, funded by your governments. They will make two “visit come study” (lawatan sambil belajar) trips twice a year, and thrice in a leap year, to your second-rate education establishments in London, Oxford, Cambridge, Washington DC, Massachusetts, California, Tokyo, Munich, Singapore and so on. On the way, they will briefly stop over at Bangcock, Disneyland and the Belly Dancing University in Doobuy, Cairo and Beirut. They should fully expose themselves to these msejjucashional experiences in foreign lands.

Dons: Well, looks like we have struck a good bargain. We shall return to our foreign lands and lobby our respective Board of Trustees to relocate to Sucesspool Princeville City, post haste, certainly by 2220! Ciao! Oh, before we leave, we have one question. If our system is 2nd class compared to yours, how come for the past 30 years your PM's, Ministers, top civil servants and crony fraudtrepreneurs have been sending their children to study mainly in UK, USA and Australia? Where did they get the money from at a minimum of B$100,000 per year for basic degree courses alone?

MADD:1Mtransformersketuanan15matriculationspmA'sGagagoogoopoopoomoomoodoodoo!

Dons: Is that gibberish or Jibberish?
MADD: Same differen.

If mere dreams and intent could fly, PM Rosemajib’s and Minister for MsEjjucashion Professor MuhyAmatDopeyDin's (MADD) offices would have been tansformed into the busiest airports in the world. More “Regional Hubs” have been proposed and disposed off in the blink of an eye in Bolihland than anywhere else in the world. Letters of Intent for award of fabulous billion dollar contracts to cronies have been pouring out from the PMO, accompanied by full government guarantees and hundred million dollar advance cheques even before the contracts are signed, with no strings attached.

Open tender and transparency? Do talk Jibberish and make us laugh, isn't it?

Please lah. ABB – Anything But BUMNO!

Please lah Minister for MsEjjucashion, stop  http://www.talkingcock.com/.

Donplaypuks® with our MSEjjucashion, MADD DPM Minister!

1 M'SIA GOVT. GUARANTED FREE BEER (FOR A FEW)!

by tiger carl s.berg, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for beer affairs (CLICK ON PICS FOR ENLARGED VIEW). 

There's so much going on in our glorious nation at the moment, sometimes it's too much to keep writing about it.

As summer approaches, I propose to relax a bit with a six-pack now and then, and ponder on things like the latest definition of 'Abdicate': To give up hope of ever again having a flat stomach. Lol! 

So, here are 6 of the best beers launched on a Glocal scale by 1 Malaysia (not APCO Israel) and the Rosemajibs who could not possibly organize a piss up in Malayan Brewery without promising to give away to Syed Mokhtar another $500 million monopoly contract to set up a "regional hub" to grow barley and hops in Gebeng, or something like that.

Remember, a picture is worth a thousand words. Here goes: 

Donplaypuks® with our beer, man!