MAHA FIRAUN, ADVISERS DON'T SEEM TO KNOW HOW TO READ 1GDB'S BALANCE SHEET OR NOTES TO THEREOF!

by proton school of (mis)management, donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for fake financial "expert" affairs

Maha Firaun's latest advisers on the 1Grossmeldajib Development Bunco artists scheme and the move to unseat the Grossmeldajibs from power permanently, seem to comprise a Koran-quoting and Arab hating blogger who claims to be an ex-central bank employee, a crony who was sold a publishing empire for RM2 by Maha Firaun himself and a former information minister with nothing between his ears.

And there you have it, a motley crew of "advisers" who are guaranteed to know nothing about money, finance or economics and who between them wouldn't know how to read a Balance Sheet even if tutored by Warren Buffet. Mahathir, like the Grossmeldajibs, does seem to attract these peculiar BUMNO/ SCUMNO advocates like bees to a honeypot. Remember, too, it is the likes of this same motley crew who crowned the Grossmeldajibs, Caesar, and promoted them as the saviours we have long been waiting for, in 2008/2009.

Maha Firaun and his latest three stooges, like the majority of BUMNO/SCUMNO/Barang Naik supporters, have yet to realise that after a deluge of repeated failures, mega financial scandals, and probably a murder or two, that they should stop championing the least crooked candidate to lead the country. We want the most upright, experienced and intelligent person to be the next prime minister, not the least handicapped retard. 

And where were they when we told them not to promote crooks and thieves as national leaders, and where was Mahathir when we flagged the Grossmeldajibs' involvement in the Altantuya murder? Now they talk and pontificate as though they knew it all, but were waiting for the, oh so right moment to save the Rakyat. What hypocrites and dishonest, pathetic pseudo-intellectuals!  

Who are they thinking of to replace the Grossmeldajibs? MopeyDopey Moohy with a $60 million financial scandal chained to his neck, and who knows what else?

That foot-in-mouth defenceless guy who is just not onn? Who made an international arse of himself vis-a-vis MH370? Who hadn't a clue how to handle the Lahad Datu "incursion"? Who is once said to have employed a "jambu-looking" male personal aide?

It's incredible that KJ should be remotely discussed as a dark horse. Dark he is, unable to satisfy Lim Kit Siang's query in Parliament to answer charges that he is the most unemployable/unemployed multi-millionaire unable to account to the Rakyat or the Inland Revenue for his massively swollen bank balance.This is what BUMNO/SCUMNO/Barang Naik has to offer - pick this crook or that crook to lead us to oblivion.

This is the rotten pile from which we should pick one to be crowned Caesar until the next mega multi-billion financial fraud or murder?

It's obvious that Maha Firaun doesn't really know what he is saying when challenging the Grossmeldajibs about RM27 billion "missing"from 1GDB's Balance Sheet.

No doubt the Grossmeldajibs, 1GDB and Maha Firaun too are all so crooked that they can easily remain undetected behind a corkscrew. No doubt this explains why Maha Firaun is hell-bent on building a crooked bridge over the Straits of Johor and start a war with Singapore; mainly because his paradigm-shafting school of lateral thinking and strategy advocates thievery (spindoctered as affirmative action), racism (divide and rule), beggar-thy-neighbour policies and universal discord over honesty, unity and peace for all. 

Make no mistake. Maha Firaun was instrumental in a crooked crony and his crooked company being "compensated" some RM700 million with the connivance of then MsMinister for Everything That Doesn't Verks (also Minister for Tolls), none other than Semi Value of the Malaysian Indoor Curangu (monkey) party.

To prove he was worthy of standing on the same planet as Maha Firaun, Semi Value once robbed the Indian community of RM10 million of telecommunications shares. This was only one among many, many instances of grand larceny and fraud amounting to several billion ringgit, perpetrated by him on all Malaysians. It was Semi Value himself who dubbed Maha Firaun as 'Maha Thiruden' ('Great Robber' in Tamil), a fitting tribute indeed from one great scumbag thief, to another great scumbag robber. One wonders how much of that RM700 million went into the pockets of BUMNO/SCUMNO/Barang Naik and Maha Thiruden. How much would a crooked bridge now cost - RM2 billion plus a 2,000 year toll concession to Petro Saudi?

RM27 billion is not missing from 1GDB's balance sheet. It is whether RM27 billion of investments and cash are worth what 1GDB's auditors, Chairman, Board of Directors, CEO, Finance Director and the Grossmeldajibs say it is. Obviously, the answer is, it is not. I will explain why below.

There is no way the RM27 billion is not included in the Balance Sheet. Some of it is actually cash in bank account. The RM27 billion may only be worth half that sum now, but its original cost value is still there in the Balance Sheet at RM27 billion. The current value cannot be zero, not yet. What are the details of these investments, who suckered/conned 1GDB into it, who appoved it (of course the Grossmeldajibs did) and what is its current market value, or fire-sale value - that's what we really want to know. 

A pork seller's book-keeper will tell you that if RM27 billion was "missing", the Balance Sheet will simply not balance. And don't sneer at pork sellers and their book-keepers. Some of the richest char siu rice, char siu pau and bak kua sellers, multi-millionaires, have for years been cooking the books to fool the Inland Revenue into thinking that their businesses have been losing money all their lives and that they live from hand to mouth, while driving around in Mercedes Benz cars, owning houses in Bangsar, Kenny Hills and Damansara, and their children got educated in London and USA. I have said it before and I will say it again to the Inland Revenue, tighten the net and you won't need GST or worry about con-men like Fitch, Standard & Poor, Moody's, the IMF and the World Bank.

What is pretty obvious to any amateur (except Maha Thiruden and his 3 mat toyol advisers) is that 1GDB has parked most, if not all of its excess cash, in investments that it cannot cash out of just now because of contractual obligations or, more likely, because the current market value of those investments have declined to such an extent, that cashing out now would blow a hole the size of the yet non-fully functioning RM10 billion Bakun Dam, in 1GDB's Balance Sheet. Fittingly, the yet non-fully functioning RM10 billion Bakun Dam was mooted (in 1993) and championed by none other then yes, bingo, you guessed it genius, Maha Firaun/Maha Thiruden!

Why 1GDB  raised billions of ringgit in debt way in advance of its requirements is another question the Grossmeldajib's will have to answer. I suspect it is because yet another bunch of mat toyol advisers, this time from the MoF, probably that guy who lost us RM30 billion at the central bank in the '90's and the othe chief secretary who approved $30 billion private initiative money from pension funds, told them that could could milk sovereign guarantees to glory and that if they invested it "correctly and wisely" then, "why, there's no way in hell we will lose money"! The Grossmajib's greed factor was so high, they fell for it like the guys at our sovereign fund did about that super 'breeding salmon in tropical waters' project that lost a billion ringgit or so. 

The Grossmeldajibs are hoping against hope that the share and money markets will recover and bail them out, and that coal prices will rise so that they will not have to write off another RM2 billion from their Mongolian coal mining investment disaster.

Cashflow from IPP dividends, and certainly paper gains from revaluing land ad nauseum, cannot cover the interest on RM46 billion of debt. Do not forget IGDB owes another $3 billion to trade and other creditors, bringing the total debt to a staggering $49 billion!!! Few Fixed Deposits pay above 4% and there is always the risk of massive losses on exchange. So, now the Grossmeldajibs have started rolling over and over 46 billion of ringgit debts using our money to bail out their own ineptitude, incompetency and thieving and crooked nature.

But make no mistake. There is the smell of looting, plundering and fraud at 1GDB that the Grossmeldajibs hope they will be able to cover-up by listing its constituent businesses, like the IPP's, at a whacking premium. No doubt EPF, Socso, KWAP, PNB and Khazanah will all be arm-twisted into supporting huge over-valuations as "Cornerstone" Investors, and be awarded lolly-pops for their "national service sacrifice" which of course means sodomising the Rakyat since none of them have any money of their own, except ours!

There was looting and skimming of commissions in raising RM46 billion in bond and derivative debts and buying investments. There was CBT in using 1GDB's money for other peoples' (Jho Paris Hilton, a certain ex-CM of Sarawak) businesses. BNM was deliberately kept out of the loop so that money could be laundered without paying taxes. The Grossmeldajibs, and more than likely BUMNO/SCUMNO/Barang Naik too, illegally collected commisions and under-table money to persuade educated and highly qualified greedy and treasonous fools into parking our money in dodgy investments. Some Wall St. wolves may have benifitted as well, and then bought RM100 million exclusive condos in Beverly Hills and New York.

GS may have washed its hands off US$500 million in commissions by saying that "no commissions were paid to 3rd parties". But one of, if not the main person, involved in raising funds for 1GDB was a GS employee of Malaysian origins who suddenly resigned last year. It's not beyond the pale that this man might have been fronting for others (you know who) and paid them from his own pockets, something which GS (though it defies belief) claims it's not aware of.

Only a Royal Commission of Inquiry (RCI) convened immediately can unravel the crooked trail of thievery by the Grossmeldajibs and their partners like Jho Paris Hilton. Who made all these disastrous "investment" decisions? Their heads should roll. The Grossmeldajibs will not come clean of their own accord. Jho Paris Hilton will not put his head on the chopping block voluntarily. The Auditor General and the Public Accounts Committee will take too long to do their job, no one will be found guilty of any misdeeds by them and no one will be surprised if they conclude that "all proper procedures were complied with" while ignoring the billions of ringgit that will have to be written off, while the Grossmeldajibs and Jho Paris Hiltons laugh all the way to the bank!

No way should the Rakyat allow 1GDB to sell off the Sg. Besi and other land gifted to it by the Grossmeldajibs at way, way below market prices. They have done nothing to enhance the land values of their own accord. If the land had been gifted to my grandmother, she would have seen the same rise in prices. 

1GDB should be forced to re-sell the the land back to the government at original cost and the Grossmeldajibs be compelled to bear the RM3-5 billion operating loss (covered up by land revaluation paper gains). There is an opportunity cost here that must be recovered by the Rakyat. If the land had been sold by open tender, the government would have realised cash profits of billions of ringgit. Why should 1GDB benefit 1 cent from being mere title deed holders?

Let this also be a warning to 1GDB's former CEO's and new CEO Kenneth Kaunda Kundi - the cat has long been out of the bag. A CEO who knowingly conceals a history of fraud and thievery at his office, and does nothing about it, will later have to be put behind bars as an accessory before or after the fact. I would recommend whipping too. Resigning is not good enough. Where huge loads of the Rakyat's money is involved, you owe us a duty of care beyond walking out and keeping your mouth shut. Don't make stupid statements like "I have not seen or read any files". Don't be fools and cover up for the Grossmeldajibs. If the situation were the reverse, they would throw you to the wolves before you could say 'Little Red Riding Hood'. Hero or Zero? The choice is yours!

 Donplaypuks® with balance sheets, man!