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03/02/2012

ROTI JALA, WHICH COMES FIRST? ROTI OR JALA OR ROTI ORANG KAYA?

or how 1 Malaysia was undermined and finally destroyed today by Mopeydopeymuhymaidin and Roti Jala, the enemies from within (musuh dalam kain selimut)

by moshe maha darthvader firaun, Donplaypuks® intrepid correspondent for 1 APCO (Not Israel) Asian Malaysia affairs at http://donplaypuks.blogspot.com


It's quite one thing to be plucked from under the shell of obscurity and an iffy reputation as a "turnaround specialist" and be parachuted into Mana Ada Sistem (MAS) Airlines as CEO with a $1 million a year remuneration package, excluding bonus and share option. Though, we never were told what exactly he turned around in Shell, were we?

Then again, it's quite another to be suddenly and ignominiously VSS'd from MAS and be appointed Senator, Minister Without Portfolio and be hastily positioned behind the steering wheel of Performance & Gundu Delivery Unit (PEGUNDU) of the Prime Minister's (Rosemajib's) Department, as CEO with a $1 million a year remuneration package, excluding bonus and share option.

Quite courageous actually, of Roti Jala, to accept Rosemajib's poisoned chalice to effect $1 Trillion ETP, EPP, GTP, NKEA/NKRA economic programs, when by his own (Roti Jala's) estimate, the Federal and State Treasuries were all broke from financing dodgy projects like National Education, Health, Welfare, Transport and Defence.

Of course the $500 Billion expended on submarines that don't sink, jet fighter planes that don't fly, $250 million cows and big tits being milked in $10 million Bangsar and Orchard Road condos, $9 billion and 600-year toll highway concessions and the like had absolutely no effect on our sinking piggy bank.  

But then, in the parlance of 'Yes, Prime Minister' and its semantics, "courageous" equates with "congenitally stupid".

Now why was Roti Jala, a Christian Orang Ulu Kelabit Sarawakian Asian Bumiputra Malaysian cashiered out of MAS with indecent haste the minute Rosemajib was appointed the 6th Prime Minister of 1 APCO (Not Israel) Asian Malaysia? 

There is no rumour to the truth that Rosemajib's predecessor, the reportedly affable but clueless (yet cunning when it came to personal finances) sleeping PM, Rip Van Winkle, was not told that the Christian Orang Ulu Kelabit Sarawakian Asian Bumiputra Malaysian Roti Jala was actually, NOT a Muslim, and ergo, not a Malay by our towering glocally drafted Constitution!

This had been grating on BUMNO's sore ass like a wedgie itch that cannot be reached. So Hang Tuah's Keris (it's only a myth, not real - refer Emeritus Professor Hang KKK) came out as soon as Mopeydopeymuhymaidin and that rAPidfire Iron Lady of Black Exhausts backstabbed Rip Van Winkle into premature political oblivion.

And therein we can see the different management styles of Rosemajib and Rip Van Winkle. 

RVW belonged to the Marah (Angry) University Seagull School of Management, where the Chiefs would fly in from some place like Woolaboogahloogah, Perth in Australia even though they lived in Kuala Lumpur, go round in circles, flap and make a lot of noise, crap on everything, and then exhausted by having achieved nothing, leave for Hawaii or Tahiti to recuperate.

Rosemajib, however is a Salad Dodger, an overweight mama's boy. He had graduated from the Havoxbridgecon University of  Testiculating Management, i.e. where the Chiefs would wave their arms about like whirling helicopter blades and talk Economy Transformers bollocks. 

Often, they would engage in the earnest and sapping art of Blamestorming - sit around in groups like PEGUNDU and exhaust themselves by achieving nothing, after discussing why deadlines were missed, why they had to U-turn and who they should blame it all on, knowing all along they never had the money to start the project but had paid the 10% commission to their rent seeking warlord Ali Baba and an advance of  $4 billion to their crony fraudtrepreneur who had just left for Jeddah on permanent leave after the Auditor General's Annual Report had been published.

It was of course Brutus Mopeydopeymuhymaidin who initially wedged his Jackboot in Rosemajib's ample behind and up where the sun don't shine by declaring "I'm first a Malay (and in glocal context that means Muslim) and Malaysian, last." 

Rosemajib could not have been more shocked, deeply hurt or badly sabotaged/ double crossed had Mopeydopeymuhymaidin actually launched a scorpenis torpedo up where the cracks stuck together like two chapatti pieces super bonded by dhal curry and QBB Ghee. Anal retentive and tight ass? Hmm!

'Et u, Brute' and 'The first cut is the deepest" all are very relevant here. 

Rosemajib had just written a RM100 million cheque to APCO Spindoctors Inc and had Anwar Ibrahim suspended from Parliament for claiming he had plagiarised (too true) the 1 Malaysia byline from, perish the thought, 1 Israel!!

1 Malaysia was in tatters, ripped apart by Rosemajib's deputy forced upon him by Maha Darthvader Firaun.

Which bring us to Roti Jala's stinky stealth fart. This easily confirms:

1. It was a pre-condition of Roti Jala's contract with PEGUNDU that he attend a BTN brainwashing course.

2. This is a cunning move to align himself with Mopeydopeymuhymaidin and his camp given that the RAHMAN prophecy will see Rosemajib shortly moving off to a retirement home in Jaffa, 1 Israel.

So, let's keep it short, shall we Roti Jala, or is it Jala Roti?

The next time you apply for a visa to deliver the next $50 million pay cheque to con-sultans McKinzhir, How Low Can You Get Jho and Make Hay While the Sun Shines, lets's see you get past immigration in USA, UK, France and Germany with a travel document that says :

1. Passport issued by Christian Orang Ulu Kelabit Sarawakian Asian Bumiputra, or 

2. Passport issued by Muslim Malay Bumiputra Asia, or 

3. Passport issued by 1 PEGUNDU. 

Who are you kidding, you cretin?

You can't get exit out of the country past MALAYSIAN IMMIGRATION without a valid "PASSPORT MALAYSIA' can you? 

 Yet, you are confused over your nationality and who you are first? 

Now stand to attention (and zip up your short pants), place your right hand over your heart, puff your chest out, look straight ahead and read slowly and loudly:   

"As long as I am a citizen of this country, I am first, middle and last, MALAYSIAN.

Everything else is irrelevant and a private matter between me, my family, my friends and my God, if one truly believes in1 Malaysia. 

And that's not negotiable."

Got it?

Now, repeat it 28 million times!

Donplaypuks® with your nationality and who you are first, middle and last, fool!

 with special thanks to English Cottage at http://theenglishcottage.blogspot.com/ for 'Seagull Management", "Salad Dodger" and "Testiculating".

46 comments:

LoL said...

WELL, MCA PORNSIDENT IS SNAKE (CHUA) FIRST AND SOILED LEG AFTER.

Loo Tau Lah said...

The prophet who prophesied the Bankruptcy of Malaysia,Roti Jala or Roti pizza a liar who is milking good bugs soon he will be in the list of top ten millionaires of Asia.

Kamalanathan said...

ala prays to Lord Murukunajibgor Kong.

See him at Tuesday's do at the Caves carrying a kavadi and doing the lion dance in a trance.

Blues Guitar said...

Jala is the man. He is in control when he was in MAS !!!
He has done so much for MAS. If you do not work with him then dont talk about MAS.

You guy talk only ... his transformations works but in Malaysia they want a M .....
to be the CEO.

That is why they have to offer him a minster post to give way to . you know la h !!!!!!!!

What happen today ???

Orang Ulu said...

Gomen has to look after this precious specie lest it becomes extinct.

It is a known fact in Sarawak that there are more orang hutans than Kelabits. No offence meant bcoz it is well accepted in Swk.

Oophs... Of course they made a mistake. Little did they know that Idris Jala is not a Muslim, but a Christain.

So it was a mistake to appoint him to try turn MAS around.

Nowithstanding, he is taken on to graeater heights.

Turn Malaysia around, please!!!!

ABU said...

Wow, you`re Malaysian! Or you rather want people from other part of the world to say, `you`re a kelabit?

Who the fuck in Timbatu knows your kelabitian more than your Malaysian. Ngapa pantat si ex CEO MAS ni banggang sangat?

Curious said...

Have you not heard of birds of a feather flock together?

Have you not heard of the chargeable ludicrous 1M email when there is free yahoo & google email?

Have you not heard of the need to cut subsidize on essential goods like sugar and petrol and the need to implement GST when millions wasted on APCO, overstaffed Putrajaya and all the stupid propaganda and votes buying 1 time hands out Rm500, Rm200 etc etc...? ( Wonder why Greece, Spain, Portugal, US etc all with VAT/GST still on the verge of bankruptcy or in financial turmoil? )

Have you not heard of the sale of MAS aircrafts and the huge payout of the early retirement for management staff & then recruited back as consultants with much higher pay cheques? Has MAS been transformed like SIA? Or just showed good in book and then problems left for whoever take over?

Funny that you guys still trust him!

east malaysia said...

the piggytailed AG, the foreign minister, this compromised Kelabit, who else ? easy to recruit fall guys from over there ?

dpp. Keep the flow. You express well and vicariously for us who need defuse the aaarghs and indignation at a regime in implosion but still marauding mode.

As for Jala. Do you truly believe you are carrying out orders of superiors who deserve to be obeyed because they are trustworthy and doing a fine job of governance with responsibility, stewardship and accountability ? ? ? Surely you know your scriptures that tell you to NOT cower in the face of authorities who lie and cheat ? ? ?

Rakyat said...

The prophet who prophesied the Bankruptcy of Malaysia,Roti Jala or Roti pizza a liar who is milking good bugs soon he and Mamak Bapa selling Roti Babi will be in the list of top ten millionaires of Asia.

Prophet said...

All these super expensive superstructures of efficiency ,transformation, control ,make beliefs are in line and online with those rigged contracts that are for making crony moneys but useless for the country and the people.

They are NeoMahathirism, born out of Umnoism born out of NoGodism. Let us tear down these hateful parasitic evils in the coming GE, so that the Great Malaysian Tree can be freed from all these Chains of Slavery, and grow like big China or tiny Singapore.

adhieysh said...

Palanivel is pundek first, then grab nemesis supporters second

stoolpidUMNO said...

Anyone who accept a job from the Najib regime is like accepting a highly intoxicated cup of . No matter how good or how smart you are, you'll end up like them and being cursed like them. Jala has to do what he's been told. He must be cursing the day he was asked to join the BN government.

Jala did a credible job in MAS. At least he didn't steal the company to near bankruptcy unlike previous chief executives or shall I say thief executives. And he did turned MAS around while he was on the job. Compare him with the one who take over from him. Can't even remember his name. So be fair to him. Above article is so jaundiced.

GITA BAYU 4 2 PARTY said...

IDRIS JALA TOLD THE NATION ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,THE TRUTH ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,BUT THE TRUTH ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,THIS NATION ,,,,,,,,,,,,MALAYSIA IS GOING THE GREECE WAY ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,B A N K R U P T ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,BY 2019 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,IF SUBSIDIES TO THE RAKYAT ARE NOT REMOVED ! TILL TODAY ,,,,,,,,,,,,,HE HAS NOT RETRACTED HIS STATEMENT ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,BCOS FOR ONCE ,,,,,,,,,,,,IDRIS JALA WANTS THE RAKYAT OF MSIA ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,TO LISTEN TO THE ,,,,,,,,,,,T R U T H !

ABU said...

Turnaround Mana Ada System? My foot? as soon as he left the true story emerge? What else under the carpet? only he knows...

ledebandis said...

I am PR first BN never!

lol said...

What is the price of Roti Jala nowadays?

Kayanic said...

Dude, what's your problem with this Orang Ulu. Obviously you are so jealous when a Borneo native can do a turnaround for MAS where the Semenanjung people (read TR) have failed all these years. You may try and call it by any other name, but a turnaround is still a turnaround.

Why the bitterness with Idris Jala until you have to call him Roti. Was it his remuneration package that pissed you off? Can't stand the sight of a Kelabit making a million a year? Have you ever thought what he gave up in Shell to save MAS and MAS repaid this Borneo lad by cutting more flights.
I've never met anyone so bitter about Idris Jala's passport.

Get a job with Imigresen then and you can deny him exit. Faceless people like you without one iota of balls have guts through the Internet only. Never will you have the courage to criticize this greatest of Malaysian in his face.
At the end of the day you are another coward Semenanjung armchair opinionist.

God help PR with people like you around. You have managed to make me question my support now. Better the status quo then to have you running the nation after GE13.

Anak Sarawak.

e-cons said...

posted by lol

"What is the price of Roti Jala nowadays?"


Zero. It is junk food.

NATO said...

Idris Jala can be the 'turnaround specialist' in Shell and Mas .But to turn around the present Malaysian government , you need a miracle from God . But with the sins being done by BN , Idris could only enjoy the perks and whatnots as the music is being played by BN.

Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it ,and whoever loses his life will preserve it

lol said...

"Obviously you are so jealous when a Borneo native can do a turnaround for MAS....."


tiu niamahs only know how to talk "jealous" for everything like mubarakchans lunh-ow meat eaters.

lol said...

1Care is to make everyone sick with stale roti jala. No wonder koh tsu koon looks so thin.

Jeffery said...

Why are attacking Idris Jala?

He is apolitical and has no other agenda than to do his best to try and salvage the dire state of the country.

He has not done anything so wrong that he warrants such name calling from the writer.

Come on, don't machine gun everybody down, even the ones who are genuinely trying to help.

Idris Jala is with the pack of rats said...

Christian group rejects Idris Jala's 10-point solution

In a lengthy 10-point statement, the Council of Churches of Malaysia (CCM) Youth did not mince its words in dismissing the 10-point solution offered by Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Idris Jala.

Idris Jala`s job is to whitewash Najib`s nonsense.

Idris Jala is with the pack of rats said...

MAS had already had two rights issues since Jala took over in 2005, raking in RM1.6 billion in 2007 and RM2.67 billion in 2010 to fund its operations and fleet purchases, and industry observers believe more cash help is unlikely to save the national carrier.

Jala was appointed as MAS’s CEO in 2005 and was tasked to revitalise the ailing state-owned company. He implemented a turnaround plan to a record a profit of RM850 million in 2007 against a nine-month loss of RM1.3 billion two years before.

However, Jala’s method of merely attaining good figures through asset stripping have come under heavy criticism.

He left MAS to join Najib’s administration in September 2009.

roti jala will make you sick said...

Idris is now a Senator in the Dewan Negara, the upper house of parliament and appointed as a Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department.

He undertakes the responsibility to oversee the government’s Key Points Indicator initiatives, working alongside Tan Sri Koh Tsu Koon, who is now in charge of National Unity and Performance Management portfolio. Idris will report to the latter on KPI related issues.

Together with Koh Tsu Koon the 2 of them gave former IGP [MUSA HASSAN] a KPI of 115%.

Nothing Original said...

This boy says strange things. First he said Malaysia is going bankrupt - but we all know this already for different reasons.

Now he says no need to be 1Malaysia. But Muhyiddin already tolyus that.

So what us this boy about?

This boy talks rubbish - nothing original.

BN high jinx said...

"This boy talks rubbish - nothing original."

Just a little kid on a see-saw in kindergarten trying to follow in the footsteps of Prophet "Lallang" Najib

Roti Kaya said...

And I'm Roti KAYA !!

Hehehe ! What's Roti Jalal ?

Observer said...

He is a specialist in 'change the soup but not the medicine'.

Only in Malaysia this kind of specialist holds high regards.

andymerdeka said...

PENGUNDU are bunch of idiots anyway. They are there just to come out with all sorts of ETPs, NKERAs, etc. and earn handsome salary well above the pay of the normal working souls in the country.

And that's 1Malaysia which they formulated and could not even agree! 1Malaysia will be soon just like the Pak lah slogan of Islamic Hadhari which disappeared with his downfall.

Can UMNO/BN be taken seriously? I'm afraid not. They have made themselves irrelevant to all Malaysians and are just bunch of jokers who think they know how to run a country.

idris jala defended said...

Within 6 months Idris Jala turns on his benefactor Najib Razak........

July 19, 2010

"You have people like Idris Jala and Koh Tsu Koon forming NKRAs and running around here and there… even the Deputy Prime Minister doesn’t even care about 1Malaysia. He is Melayu ‘Malay’ first,” said Tengku Razaleigh, referring to Tan Sri Muhyiddin’s infamous remark made where he maintained that he would always be “Malay first” before identifying himself as a Malaysian.

The former Umno vice-president also moved to cast doubts on Najib’s ability as a leader both on a national and party level.

“There is a gap between Najib and Umno party members… he probably has not done enough to forge a relationship with the members.

“He means well when he goes down for his walkabouts, like how he went to Petaling street. But how many people (Malaysians) live in Petaling Street? Its full of foreigners,” quipped Tengku Razaleigh.

Ah Jib Gorilla said...

I am Mamak first and Malaysian next. I am Bugis first and Malaysian next.

Roy said...

This article is full of craps.

What is the intent of this so unprofessional writer?

If you need to write, write it professionally.

This kind of writing won't bring us anywhere. Go direct to the point that the current government needs to improve, lots to improve.

Don't go around the bush and calling names which I think very stupid and childish.

Anak Sarawak said...

sarawakian are disappointed with this Jala. We expect him to do a better job to help the state but he is carrying the crooks balls and telling lies and make fake data to cheat the people.

Now no one appreciate him anymore.

Donplaypuks® said...

Roy

You don't seem to understand satire or the issue with regard to Roti Jala?

When you are once classified 2nd class citizen, then perhaps you will understand the issues.

abu said...

I am Roti first, Jala next and (gulai) Lembu last, with either
(duit) Kopi O or Teh Tarik (masuk poket) for drink.

1 Mamak said...

I'm Mamak 1st, Malay 2nd.

Duh! said...

Only a small man will serve in a court suffused with small men - as the ancients in China observed. Good men retires when small ones run rife there. Roti Jala, not being a great man, serves them soullessly for his own gains

see said...

"Don't go around the bush and calling names which I think very stupid and childish." - Roy

And thus you display your stupidity, childishness and idiocy.

PUNDEK WAKALAWOLI WALI said...

Aiyah, U all do not like this Roti Jala meh? Athens take Char Siew Paul lah, very good one, sure make U want some more!

Why this roti after joining BN become one White Pow. Talking cock. If U ask him, Where is Jesus from. He would say Jesus is a pure blood Malayu n from Malaysia. The BIBLE? wat U talk abt? We got new Bible! Tgis one printed by Dewan Bahasa n Pustaka mah. ?very simple MELAYU n easy to understand man!
Wat Kelabit? wat is tat? a new tribe? Aiyah, we do not need that anymore. Even our peninsular natives who are not classified as BUMIputras also called themselves new tribe n shud be given special rights n privileges lah! now everyone say he is new tribe n want special treatment. U know, we run out of funds,tats why we start this SARA ONE LAh, Everyone wants a share. We are really totally broke. No money n PM ask me to turn things around. So we say y not transform everything. Every day we transform lah. These idiots got no brains one. They will forget all the transformations. Very simple, say, KPI, NKRA n so on.

These fuckshits can not remember anything n we keep on saying transform this n that, their heads will turn around n round n can not remember anything. Just give them some white AngPows n they are satisfied! See how Ibrahim Ali did it. Loh. So easy, ESP those guys from MCA. So easy!

Duh! said...

Roti Jala thinks he belongs to the 21st century but his psyche is more anciently primitive than the Confucian era!

He also apparently thinks we're blind not to able to have discerned that.

Ashraf said...

This roti Jala was baked in Kutty's bakery, since the bakery had no other orders to fulfill as business was nose-diving. Anyway, this Jala is only a half-baked roti becuase that is the standard that Kutty had set for his past-past-six bakery.

This was the guy who twice screamed aloud that M'sia is going to go bankrupt but when Pinky told him to pipe down, he did so just to hang on to his post.

Anyway, Kutty is geting bread-vendors on bicycles and motorbikes to promote his half-baked roti Jala so that people will have an upset stomach. And might visit Kutty in search of medicine. Killing two birds with one stone, eh?

Alien said...

Good grief. How come so many leeches (parasitic worms) starting to emerge out of the Malaysian woodwork. Where have I been, missing out on all these actions.

What fat whichity grub has been residing in this Roti "jala" ? As a Malaysian, I feel so neglected after hearing all these millions and billions (ringgits, that is) flying everywhere but into my lap. How come these parasitic worm managed to get so much money as remuneration virtually doing f..k all!

Now he is employed by rosemajib's ministry doing more f..k all. If he hadn't stuck his dumbno neck out , I'd never be the wiser of the existence of this specie of parasitic worms in the PM Dept.

1Malaysia has become a hot political football since that dumno clot (moohidin) pretended to be clever by declaring his Malayness before Malaysianness. Now this roti worm is making the same dumbno statement. It's all much ado about nothing. If najib had been more specific and definitive about 1Malaysia there wouldn't be all these abiguities.

1Malaysia could simply have meant the "unification" of all Malaysians, which is the responsibility of all Malaysians irrespective of enthenic background.

1Malaysian could also constitutionally imply priority placed on National prosperity and security, which must evidently become the responsibility of the government of the day.

Saying, Malay first and Malaysia second, in 1Malaysia context is totally irrelevant and ignorant. In fact, it brings out the treachery of such mentality as national traitors and the display of ethenic arrogance.

For those who care about Malaysia, avoiding "political ethenicity" is a step in the right direction. By all means we shall not neglect our various ethenic cultures as they are the treasure of the nation to be preserved unconditionally. At he same time we shall stop the perpetuation of any kind of RACIAL PROFILING.

dqmc said...

You all at the top there talking about stupid things.

I ask you are you idris jala first or Kelabit first.????? what is this first or that first can change Malaysia to be a better place for everybody.

The opposition like LKS, Karpal also wasting all the raayat time.Talking nonsence?//??

Why are you all busy trying to mislead this country into something that has no value???? all are idiots of the first degree?????!!!!!!!

Kantoi said...

Aiyah, this KAYANIC guy thinks he is very smart. Show us your true identity!

U are one apple polisher n ball licker for Roti Jala Idris. We suppose U must be from the same kampung lah n also a Kelabit lah. Never mind, U can polish n rub, make sure U are paid well.

Apple polishers do not survive long, becoz the master will just kick the scoundrel out before he knows too much. Zthere is no long term employment. Only short term.

So KAYANIC, be careful, today your boss may look very big, but when the elections over, he may be unemployed n politicians seldom can find long term employment becoz the boss never liked politicians becoz they can not be trusted. They always bend with the wind like lallang. So watch out.

aborium said...

Malaysians have been hogwashed by a turnaround Godot who turns ETP round and round in circles till we have exhausted our time, money and effort and with no light at the end of tunnel. If there is one, it would be a fast moving train, not stopping at your station, so don't too close to the edge!